Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Last day of school

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the year. Heading on to 2nd grade, 4th grade & Junior year. It always seems like each year goes by so much faster than the last, except the last few days of school. They are just dragging...

I'm not sure about something, so I will share. If anyone has an opinion, feel free to share it. Tomorrow is not only the last day of school it is also field day. I remember field day when I was a kid. I had a love hate relationship with field day. In my day, there was a lot of stress put on winning. Not by the staff, but by peers. I think the same is true today. Who doesn't love to win one of those colorful ribbons? Who never really gave a shit about the participation ribbon? Whoop-dee-doo, everyone participates. My dilemma - what do I teach my kids about winning? We've had conversations about feeling the need to WIN! Andewd is probably one of my most competitive children. He is also the sorest loser and he doesn't win very often.

I know I'm not the one who taught him to be a sore loser. I lose better than anyone, imo. Except arguments, but we're not talking about the last word. I have heard the words "winning isn't everything, knowing that you did your best is" and "it's okay to lose, it's all about having fun"come out of my mouth on several occasions. How do I stress that it's good to want to win without diminishing the importance of good sport. It's okay to lose...right? I want my kids to want to be good enough to win at everything, who doesn't? I don't want them hung up on not getting the ribbon or not winning & feeling terrible that they didn't.

Tonight, my focus is on that conversation. I want them to focus on having fun, because really, isn't that what field day is meant to do, bring the fun out on the last day of school - celebrate moving on to the next? Winning isn't everything, but losing sucks! Of course I'm going to tell them to just do their best & have fun. Is it enough & will it sink in that it's good to want to achieve the highest level of excellence and WIN? Probably not, because I'm advocating losing. It's a lose, lose situation. Ha!


Mrs4444 said...

I work (teach) with a couple of kids who have a VERY hard time losing. What helps is to process AHEAD of time...for example...

1) So, why are we doing field day, anyway? (fun)

2) What happens if you win something? What is expected behavior for a good sport? (a little celebrating, no in-your-face stuff)

3) What happens if you don't win this event? What does it say about you? (That you did your best. That you had fun. You maybe need to practice some more, but it does NOT mean that you are less than anyone else.)

4) What will you do if someone else is a bad sport---cheering/jeering/hoping you do poorly? (Positive self-talk is called for.)

Hope that helps :)

Lex the mom said...

#4 - a needed bit of info, for sure because I did forget to mention anything along those lines. Andy, who's 10, has these 2 boys in school that love to trash him (one was actually violent last year - twice. Secretaty's grandson. It's a long story for another day.) and I keep telling him to just stay away & not listen because you know it isn't true. Well, that boy just can't stay away from M. "M is sooo funny! But every time I laugh at something he does, he glares at me..."

I know kids will be kids, but I'd love to be around just one time that happened, the name calling. I'd kindly put the boy in his place eg.; "Do you get called names? Why would you call someone else something like that? I would be so hurt if someone called me that name, wouldn't you?". I am scary to kids. I kinda like that. ;)


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