Aren't teenagers wonderful? This is my life. A hard, honest post.

Last week, I had an eventful week with our 16 year old. I want to say it was a good event, but it was not.  We had, oh, let's call it a falling out.  I could have let a lot go, but the mood of me this week just wasn't going to let anything go.  He claims I kicked him out. I know he said he didn't want to live here any more because he hates it here, so I said he could go anytime.  I won't deny that I was horrible when we fought.  At one point, I did spit in his face (awful, I know - better than punching him, which is what I really wanted to do, and I wasn't in the mood to get into a fist fight with my 16 year old son) but he opted to say the things people say with only the intention to hurt.  He spit back in my face.  What does one do when a child will not back down?  When discipline is failing & lack of respect is prevalent?  I keep thinking - did I create this mess all on my own?  I know I didn't by myself, but we can't go there because I would be remiss to tell only my side.

Lots of thought, lost in thought

I spent a lot of time thinking yesterday & the old adage "life is what you make it" kept filtering any thought I had. I feel like a big ol' crybaby Sally. I am not that person, I've never been. I am much more of a listener. I was thinking about a journey & sharing that so that anyone who might feel down on themselves can see that we control the good or bad in our lives (for the most part). My life is good right now. <-- It may not sound like it, but any time something happens that sets my mind adrift to the past I second guess everything I've ever done. I don't need a to do list, but I do. Those things I will keep to myself. Everyone has stuff to do. Motivation was the driving force behind feeling I needed to put it out there.

So - Andewd has a desire to never do anything in front of people. Especially things like singing. Yesterday was the school's Spring program. 3rd, 4th & 5th graders participated. We talked about it - at length & he was adamant that he couldn't (didn't) want to go. He hasn't participated in the programs since 1st grade. I am of the mind that if a child is absolutely uncomfortable doing things like this, he shouldn't have to. I remember the way he froze at the beginning of the last thing he was in & the look of fear in his eyes, the welling of the fearful tears & I didn't want to have to do that to him. He surprised me - he went, he didn't even see me in the audience & he did well. He had fun.

I was listening to the radio yesterday, on my way to deliver 2 charm bracelets and a song came on. I enjoy the music of the Sick Puppies. The band name is not appropriate for the type of music they produce, imo. The lyrics were soothing and right (of course I didn't know all the lyrics, but the ones I heard - fit. Now they fit even more.).

Riptide by Sick Puppies with lyrics:



Always, posting my hurt thoughts & making myself see what I feel helps me get through it. It clears my mind, it is motivating all on its own.

Springtime seems to be here to stay!

For that I am truly grateful! The warmer weather has us all hanging out outside, me getting some much needed maintenance done around here. I had some wall patching to do. 14 was being, erm, too active in the bathroom. (???) He jumped up to touch the ceiling (???) and his elbow came down hard on the towel bar. Needless to say, I put fixing that off until now. This will be the 4th time I'm getting a towel bar up in there since we moved in. Maybe this time it will remain securely in place. A girl can hope.

I'm listening to the sound of birds & it is remarkable! This was just a long & dreary winter.

8 celebrated his 8th birthday, hence the change to 8 instead of 7 when referencing him. Last week, I thought about posting a tribute to him & his 8 years with us, but I never got around to it. He was always a happy baby - ALWAYS! The perfect baby, but all my babies were good. I feel like I cheated because they were.

I got a new computer & can't find my power cord for my external HD. I can't add the old photos of him without it. If I can find it before the weekend, I'll share a photo tribute to him with you all. He was so cute. He still is but doesn't like to be reminded so much any more. How they change, my how they change.

My daughter still has some fabulous things to say to us. The other day she told me I was warm weather & the hub he was cold weather ..."you're freezing, daddy" she said. The she told me I was so sweet & pretty & nice and she loved me so much. Having a daughter has its perks. I always thought daughters were daddy biased. Heh.

I also found out that a dear old friend of mine has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I haven't had her out of my thoughts since last Sunday when I found out. If you could all send positive thoughts & prayers for her, I would truly appreciate it! Her name is Liz and she is an amazing woman with 2 gorgeous kids & a wonderful husband. She is a woman of great strength & I know she will fight it tooth & nail, coming away victorious!

I will host another auction for jewelry come October. This time the donation will be divided between the Susan G. Komen Foundation & the Caring Bridge website. Caring Bridge is a wonderful website devoted to those fighting & surviving serious illnesses. Those who are enduring can journal about what is happening in their lives to keep their families updated on what's going on with them. I know October seems a long way away, but it'll be here soon enough.

In the meantime, I hope you all are doing supremely well & that Spring fever has hit you all in the best ways!