Friday, November 21, 2008
I began to tell her it was time for bed & she needed her sleep. After all my talking, she still claimed she wasn't tired. I rested my head gently on my pillow and with my eyes closed, I thought I might apply a tactic that has worked for me in other situations. I told her that "whoever falls asleep first, wins!". A few seconds later, she chuckled and said "are you playing a game?".
She won the "game". She fell asleep so fast after that! Funny how that stuff can be so successful sometimes & fall completely flat other times. Now, when she goes down for a nap or to bed, she brings up the game. She's been winning a lot lately. ;)
Another funny Princess Fluffyfart thing - Tuesday, Dock rented movies. He brought home Wall*E. Our wonderful little girl acted as if she was uninterested with a hidey smirk on her face. A few moments later, she told her daddy:
"If you brought home Kung Fu Panda, I would say I wanted Wall*E. If you brought home Wall*E, I would say I wanted Kung Fu Panda. I wanted Kung Fu Panda."
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I am busy with blogs for the time being, plus, I spent the last couple of days putting together a supply order so I can make more jewelry! It's going to be incredible what's in store! I have loads of cool components coming, not to mention a fabulous giveaway in December.
I'm also getting ready to participate in our town's Christmas Open House. It's town wide - great for exposure! I'm organizing & establishing myself for Jewelry parties, too. Hectic times, for sure. Hopefully, it's all for good and everyone comes out of it happy & satisfied!
I still miss you all & can't wait to visit more of you - I've been stealing visits when I have a free few minutes.
Once I start making more jewelry, I will be posting pictures galore! I'm so excited - you have no idea!
Monday, November 17, 2008
November 17, 2008
Mrs. Alexis Xxxxxxxx
xxx x. Xxxxxx Pl.
Dear Mrs. Xxxxxxxx,
Thank you so much for your contribution of $140.00 to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Your support is hard at work bringing us closer to our goal of saving lives and ending breast cancer forever by empowering people, ensuring quality care for all and energizing science to find the cures.
With nearly $1 billion invested to date, Susan G. Komen for the Cure has become the world’s single largest source of nonprofit funds dedicated to curing breast cancer at every stage from the causes to the cures, to the pain and anxiety of every moment in between. In fact, since we started in 1982, practically every advance in the fight against breast cancer has been touched in some way by a Komen grant.
Working with friends like you, along with survivors and activists in 125 U.S. cities and around the world, Susan G. Komen for the Cure serves the breast health needs of millions, and has helped save countless lives.
Again, I want to express my sincere appreciation for your generous donation and your commitment to our promise to bring an end to this devastating disease. The success of Komen for the Cure is made possible through the considerate support received from corporations, organizations, survivors, advocates and individuals like you. Because of your help, we are one step closer to creating a world without breast cancer.
Chief Executive Officer
To comply with the IRS requirements regarding charitable donations, we affirm that no goods or services have been provided to you, in whole or in part, in consideration for your contribution. This letter will serve as confirmation of your donation for income-tax purposes. Komen tax I.D. #75-xxxxxxxx.
(I'm not sure if I should leave that in there or not)
Susan G. Komen for the Cure 5005 LBJ Freeway, Suite 250 Dallas, TX 75244
Thursday, November 13, 2008
In the meantime, I have mucho catching up to do! I will be stopping by many of you after some important blog redesign business (I'm working on a few things). Watch out for me! okay, maybe not, but I've been missing you all! (big deal, right?)
For now - drop by Indelible Creations to see what's up for the Holidays! I'm offering a special Holiday Blog Redesign special! The Holiday package is priced at a $20 discount!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Anyhow - tomorrow we have plans to visit the inlaws (just me & the kids, Dock never goes & they're HIS parents) , so that means I probably won't be blogging again tomorrow. I'll be back around again soon! I miss you all!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Karol's auction win brings us to a grand total of $140 donation (I rounded up from $138.23), that's better than I imagined we could do! Whoo-hoo! I don't know how the donations are acknowledged, as I've never done it before, but once it's accepted, whatever note or info I get I'll post it here.
Karol - I will be sending you an email (I meant to do that sooner - life sometimes fouls up my plans). I also was going to send that out today - but I didn't get to the post office (and ran out of my bubble envelopes). Tomorrow it will be!
Friday, October 31, 2008
I know this movie isn't for everyone, but it is my all time favorite Ghost movie! If you don't like creepy, scary, gory don't watch.
It is on right now (scheduled post :D)! Yahoo! HBO rocks my socks! Oh yeah - in 2005 we made Kyle up to be The Jackal - don't mind the photos of the photo. I wasn't great, but it was fun. Not many people knew who he was, but those who did thought it was cool! We didn't want to creep him up completely because my other 2 were little, little.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I am loving Angela Basset in there! She is hard nosed with a purpose & maybe, by the end of the show, she'll start having some fun.
Any ideas on what to watch next season? My Thursday nights are going to suck with William Peterson leaving CSI & no more ER. How sad am I? That's been my go to for over 8 years. That's the one night of the week I religiously watch TV. What am I going to do...*sigh*
GH was awesome & I am glued tomorrow for the marathon! I know there will be a couple episodes I missed last season, then the awesome 7 hour live event! I'll miss the first hour (at least, I'm taking the kids trick or treating - which will be fun!!), but I'll be sitting in for the rest! Last year the live show was awesome!!
Scargosun - you said Steve (GH) sometimes bugged you - he's too soft spoken & heartwarmingly weird to bug me. Andy was awful & so was Brian! I have a hard time watching GH Internat'l because of Andy. Something about him just gives me the willies. And - huge congrats on the Phillies taking the big series - first Philadelphia Championship team since 1983! I was flipping back and forth during commercials. I had the feeling they were taking it yesterday.
I saw Sex & The City the movie the other day & I was impressed with the story! I miss that show, too - I used to watch that religiously. I didn't know how the movie was going to go - but man, it was good! I hated that Steve cheated on Miranda, but her reaction was worse. I love that Samantha was monogamous - that was funny! Charlotte, well, she is always happy. & Carrie - perfect ending! I loved the journey she took & in the end it worked the way I wanted it to.
It's funny how these characters get into your head. It was an emotional movie (no, I didn't cry, but some parts were really sad!) and a lot of it surprised me. The story just played out so well, IMO. The writing was always good on the show, I didn't expect much different on the big screen.
Now, I'm starting to watch August Rush (sad, so far) - another one I really wanted to see a long time ago, so I'm going for now. What movie have you seen or loved lately?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I have a few new types of beads coming to me (hopefully tomorrow) and I will showcase a few things on here once in a while. Christmas is right around the corner & my prices are extremely reasonable. I know my pieces are stylish because I even saw a necklace similar to one I created on What Not To Wear!! I was freaking out when I saw it because it was What Not To Wear (SHUT.UP.) & it was on their mannequin with a stylish outfit!!! I am proud of that necklace, which you can find here - Indelible Creations Jewelry.
I am not even in computer mode, but I wanted to post this. I wanted you all to see what can be yours. I pride myself on how well this jewelry making thing is coming along. I never knew I could be this good at something and LOVE doing it so much!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
In honor of kids with cameras, I'm posting a few that my 2 boys here have taken. A few are from last year, around this time of year - Halloween was near. And a couple are by Andy from this past Labor day weekend. He loves to just walk around with my camera & it shows. he'll take pictures of anything -like a sparsely decorated...closet. Kyle, who is 14, loves to take pictures of our cat. You'll see that as time goes on & I participate.
If you'd like to join in - drop by Dysfunctional Mom & play! I know you have kid pics of your own!
I present to you, the final item up for bid. I'm calling this set Perfect Match because I really went a bit over board with the matching. Who says you have to wear it all together? I agree that my naming hasn't been all that creative. It is for a good cause, though! Think Pink!!
I created this set using a 3/4" silver toned fancy diamond(shaped) focal link, Translucent Rose and Satin finish Rose Czech Fire Polished beads. The Earrings are apporimately 2 and a half inches long, the bracelet is approx 8" and the necklace is 18".
The bidding for this set will start at $28.00. As always, this is for a great cause! 95% of proceeds will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
Huge thanks to all of you for donating for a great cause & for the pretty somethings worthy of the cause. You're all fabulous!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all participating!
I will be back tomorrow with a new and the last item up for bid! It will be a 3 piece set! Necklace, earrings & bracelet.
Friday, October 24, 2008
All y'all (I don't know either...) are super cool & I still have some blogs to visit, but 14 is telling me it's his turn and saying things like "poop on a stick" because he can't play yet & I'm "still commenting?". Off to finish up the beef stew (not eat it all, just finish the final touches)!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
When someone dies and has lived a long, fruitful life it is sad, but acceptable. When someone dies and is young & hasn't had enough time to really live it is so much harder. Even when the closeness isn't there.
I went to the wake of a dear old friend. He was an old friend in the sense that I didn't get to know him as an adult. We knew each other very well as little kids & over the years our families have remained close. After a while, he was just a missing piece in all of the gatherings.
Let me tell you about him. I remember a very sweet, handsome boy. He was very handsome only I never would have admitted it. That would have let him know I thought he was cute. He was also a sensitive soul. Things that may not have bothered most of us, bothered him. He was highly intelligent. He loved Barry Manilow (I know! and we all used to tease him about it). He had a tenderness about him, he was thoughtful and had a smile that was engaging & could even steal the breath from an 8 year old little girl. He also had the cutest raspy voice that could melt a girl that got older. Our families were so close, it wouldn't have felt right.
I was not quite a year older than he was and we did spend a good deal of time hanging out (all of us kids, there were many of us because our parents had LOTS of parties together.). When we would spend summers with my grandparents, they were the next door neighbors. The family had 4 children & he was the oldest. When we were kids I really did know him well.
We all grew up, we all went our separate ways. When I moved back to Chicago back in 1991, I did spend some time with his family. They had a few parties & my dad would come out from Nebraska & we'd go hang out - again. But he was always absent.
I started to hear things about him. I heard how he'd gotten caught up in drugs & spent time in jail. I couldn't help but think it was so not how I expected his life to turn out. He seemed so above turning to that. I can't say that I knew all about his life when we weren't around, but I know it wasn't easy. As many kids lives aren't.
From 1991 to 2008, I saw him once. His whole family attended our wedding & he wasn't there. Every time I'd drop in to visit, he wasn't there. Every get together or party I'd go to, he wasn't there. I don't even remember seeing him at his own brother's wedding, but I remember he had to be there.
This much is telling to me. It tells me how he succumbed to a terrible disease. A disease that begins for emotional reasons & continues for physiological reasons. He was in a bad way for a very, very long time. At times his low was homeless low. Homeless & feeling like he had nowhere to turn. I remember hearing these things & not consciously believing them. Maybe I was simply turning a blind eye.
Early last year, he seemed to be getting his life together. Finally! He was around more, I'd hear from my mom talking to his mom. He was in love & planning a wedding. I was happy to hear this, I was happy for him. One day, 10 months ago, he slipped into a coma. Tonight, I finally found out a little more about that. He had a massive stroke. His brother mentioned that it may have been attributed to "a substance or a couple". No one really knows why. After 5 months, he awoke in a vegetative state. For a while, his mom got to take care of him at home. The last 5 months, he fought pneumonia a few times and finally couldn't beat it any longer.
I went to tell him good bye tonight. He was depleted. Skin and bones & that just broke me. Here I am watching all these faces that I haven't seen in a while and there is laughter & conversation and little tears. I know that his family was probably guarded for this. They probably had months to grieve with the knowledge that he wasn't going to remain that way forever. That I understand. What I couldn't grasp was how little I knew about him & how little we had to celebrate from his life. It was just. so. tragic. Usually, when there is laughter & conversation at a wake or funeral, it is because of memories of good times & talk about things he used to do or what he was like. There was none of this for that reason. It was small talk & conversations about other lives. I can't let that go for reasons I don't understand. It really bothered me.
I am grateful that his family got to let him know how much they loved him in those last months. I am grateful that his fiancee loved him & he knew it. One who suffered through what he did for so many years needed to feel loved. The reason he suffered was because he didn't feel that. For some reason, that is something I feel I know.
Gabe May 7, 1972 - October 18, 2008
Rest in peace & know you are loved.
I can't express how much I appreciate all of you dropping by & doing this! Soon, we will have a more than generous donation to help find a CURE!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
This set is comprised of silver toned jump rings 8mm and 15mm in size. The rosy pink beads are Czech Fire Polished beads in a rose satin finish. They look much more pink in your hand. This set is accented with Cultured Natural Freshwater Pearls.
The earrings are finished with a ball ear wire, silver toned brass and the bracelet is finished with a lobster claw clasp. Earrings measure approximately 1 and 1/2 inches and the bracelet approx. 8 inches.
As always, click the images for a better view.
The bidding for this set will start at $18.00. As always, this is for a great cause! 95% of proceeds will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
On another note - today I am off for a sad thing, a sad thing on our wedding anniversary (don't worry, it's never been a big deal for either of us & that's mostly me). I won't get into to details, but I will be back later tonight. The other auction will end when I get home.
Monday, October 20, 2008
I used 2 different shaped drops, both silver toned. The hot pink beads are Czech Fire Polished beads and they are accented with a corrugated round silver toned bead, all those are 4mm. The pink glass cubes I've used before & I love them!
I think they fit quite perfectly in the little silver toned diamond drop. These would also make a great gift for a special young lady in your life!
The bidding for these 2 pairs of earrings will start at $12.00. As always, this is for a great cause! 95% of proceeds will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
Thank you so much for participating & this donation!
I will be adding another item in a little bit. Watch for the post!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Lorrie writer of Our Name is Blog!
How cool is that! I know you were in desperate need of a blog redesign, that according to some of your friends! You won it without the extra entires they were willing to pay forward to you if they won! Hopefully, I can resize my videos to show you all how it went down. The file sizes are huge because I neglected to set the video size smaller. I downloaded a few converters & was able to resize the files. Don't mind the watermark on these - it's much better than the first converter I used.
The runner up winners will receive a pair of earrings they will choose from my existing inventory. I will send you both a link to all of my earring photos via email. The runners up are -
Amanda, (sorry for forgetting your blog name - I said shaggin instead of scrappin...tsk, tsk. Maybe I know more about you than you think. ;) )writer of Householdsix Scrappin & Bloggin
Dee, writer of My Aussie Antics
I also have to give my friend Carrie an honorable mention. I never thought about paying it forward until she suggested it. Not only did she help promote my giveaway, she is the reason for "Pay it Forward"!
To Karol - sorry you had to go to work!
I have to thank the wonderful MamaHut for this lovely & pretty award. I love how these things circulate, but I've never seen this one & actually feel good about accepting it. I can do creative. ;) A huge thanks to my new friend at MamaHut's House. She is very cool. I'm glad I accidentally stumbled across her blog - I think it may have been via Candid Carrie's Fx4.
A pretty award & this is what I will do. I will list 6 things that make me happy. Then I will give it away to some of my faves. They can drop by if they choose to accept. I decided I like to let people choose if they want the award or not. That idea came from MamaHut herself. Thanks!
1. When my daughter is being crabby & my 7 year old walks over to her & instead of being an annoying booger & mocking her tears, he gives her a hug.
2. When my oldest here actually does the things that he's supposed to without complaint or argument.
3. Anytime we go out to dinner, we always come home with the best feelings ( even with crabby kids) and always have a good time after - just hanging out the rest of the evening. It's true quality family time. The best memories often come from these adventures.
4. A really good cup of coffee that I didn't have to make.
5. My computer behaving.
6. Making stuff - jewelry & graphics mainly.
You all can figure out for yourselves who is who. I think you'll know, though. And - don't worry if you don't want to post this. Just know that I was thinking about you & mean what I say.
Second thing - the drawing for the giveaway will be posted tomorrow evening after 5pm. Andy had to go to bed after Cub Scouts & I need his help for the drawing. So, we will be doing that after he gets home from school.
Now, I'm finding myself too tired to do the other meme. It is 4:30 in the morning (I had a late nap) and I'm thinking I'll do the other meme tomorrow. It's so worthy.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I will be announcing the winner Friday! I mentioned on Karol's blog that it would be after Cub Scouts - but I was feeling a little bit spacey! I get til Friday! The children will be conducting the drawing tomorrow evening! Get in one more mention on your blog before I close the giveaway & I will add another entry for you!
I can't wait to see who wins & don't forget - there will be 2 little extras for 2 runners up! ;) Good luck to you all!
There are so many ways I am creative.
I try to write & that doesn't always work out so well, but it is a creativity outlet.
I love, love, love creating computer graphics! Here are just a few examples of things I've done (not blog work, just being creative).
I also love, love, love creating jewelry. I get to try new things everyday and sometimes I do surprise myself with the designs I come up with. Sometimes I wish I had more to work with so I could get even more creative, but I have to make do for now. I don't know if everything I create is great, I just know that it makes me happy & I love it! Here are some examples of that:
That last set will be up for auction soon. I'm auctioning off jewelry for a donation to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. What better way to use my talents than for charity to help find a cure.
This is how I am creative, for the most part. I won't mention how I talk in funny voices to entertain my kids or sometimes make up stories for them, about them. Andy loves my Dandy O'Brandon stuff. Maia loves Little Maia Musket (Mustget). One day I might share those here, but for now, this is enough. I hope you find my creativity entertaining. I'll be dropping by many of you tomorrow to see what prompt you chose.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The other night Andy admitted to me that he knew what a "butt crack" was. Here's how it went:
Dew: I know what a butt crack is.
Me: Really? What is it?
Dew: It's the top of a person's butt. (all the kids are around, so this is followed by some giggling)
Me: Like what you see when a plumber bends to fix your sink?
Dew: (just stays silent wondering what the hell I'm talking about, because who hires a plumber any more?)
Me: Okay, if you know what butt crack is, then what does it mean if someone says you're smoking crack?
Dew: (expressing extreme pride in his knowledge) It's when your butt is on fire.
Insane giggles come from all of us because this is so literally an example of how kids say the darndest things. The typical smoking crack jokes ensue followed by so much laughter. As wrong as it was, it really was a lot of fun. I'm thinking this boy must have overheard a telephone conversation where my BFF and I were talking about phrases we use, but shouldn't. "You're smoking crack" was one of those.
And that, my friends, is why I'll never be mom of the year.
I did want to let those I frequent know that I don't intentionally drop by & not say anything. Sometimes I've been commenting for a while & by the time I get there, I feel commented out.
I'm glad this post struck a chord with many of you. It gives me a much better idea on what's good for you & what isn't. I am thinking I may be commenting more than ever now! It's a good thing, though!
Friends are always friends. At least that's been my experience, for the most part. When we're young we promise to be friends forever, we Pinky Swear.
With the silver toned metal hand formed swirl, the pink cubes of glass, the bright silver cut out beads and the round fire polished beads - I was trying to think of a creative name for these & that was all I could come up with. Hopefully, these earrings promise the winner of the auction years of friendship to their ears.
The bidding for these sweet little beauties will begin at $6.00.
As I mentioned, the swirls are hand formed. I created these using the rosy Czech fire polished round beads 6mm, pretty pink glass cubes, and silver toned cut-out rounds 4mm. These are finished with a surgical steel fish hook ear wire.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you participating!
Sorry for any delays. I was nursing a sick daughter & my hub's new days off are Mondays & Tuesdays. That gets my world all wonky.
I will be back ever so shortly with a new item for bidding!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Okay, Ladies (& guys if there happen to be any), here is a set I created. I often go around to jewelry sites to see if what I can find inspires me. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. I love this style of earring, with a cluster of beads dangling. I know this stuff doesn't have the tell tale ribbon for Breast Cancer Awareness, but all the jewelry created for this auction has pink elements in each piece, to honor the cause.
Let me know if you all would like to see other colors up for auction & I can include a few other pieces.
For now - I present Without Ribbons.
The bracelet is finished with a silver toned lobster claw clasp & adjustable length of fancy silver toned jump rings.
The earrings are finished with silver plated brass ear wires.
The bidding for this set will start at $18.00. This set can be dressed up or casual. Each image is clickable for a larger view & these photos were taken on a bright sunny day! I made no alterations to the images, aside from the fading pink frame. The colors you see here are darn near the actual color.
Let the bidding begin! Auction for this set will end Wednesday October 15, 2008. The winning bidder will be announced shortly thereafter & payment arrangements made at that time. Good luck!
(I will post about other stuff Monday - including the consensus of blog etiquette.)
Friday, October 10, 2008
A lot of people I comment on, I do because I love reading their blogs. There are bloggers that I NEVER hear from, but because I love to read what they have to say, I keep going back. I know I do my best to comment during some of the blog events (i.e. Fx4, Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, etc.), even if there's not a whole lot of interest in what I've read.
This is where I'm perplexed. Would you bloggers rather someone leave a comment that's drab & disinterested, or get no comment at all? And do you think that if someone leaves a comment for you that you are obligated to go & leave one on their blog - just because they left one for you?
Personally, I will leave a comment even if I find the post boring, but I think it shows in what I say. I do feel obligated to go to someone else's blog if they've dropped by me.
The blogs I regularly comment on (even if there are breaks) are the ones I enjoy the most. I hope those I hear from most are not just dropping by because they feel obligated. I'd hate that.
Let me know what you think...
For those ladies who are bidding on the earrings - I love you guys! It is such a fabulous cause & hopefully before it's all said & done we will have a decent donation to send on over to the Susan G. Komen Foundation!!! After each auction ends - I will post the tally in the sidebar. I will have a set (earrings & bracelet) tomorrow! Please bring attention to this.
I need the universe to tell me which way to shift... (very much a random thought, but hey - those come out sometimes)
Maia - Are you a mysterious creature?
Me - (chuckle) Yes (I think for a sec), we're all mysterious creatures.
Maia - I'm not. (long pause.........) I'm a protector.
Me - Oh yeah? Cool!
What do you say to something like that? I have no idea where she got that from, but it was different.
My new favorite song -
Sex on Fire
Not sure what it is about that song, I just LOVE it. (couldn't embed the video, but the link should work)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Pink Ballerinas. Or as Andy called them, the Alien Ballerinas. I guess the cube "body" kinda threw him.
I didn't create these with a dancer in mind, but when I took the photos, I couldn't help but notice how they resembled tiny dancers.
I will begin this all with pink - that's what the month of October is all about. The other night I created a few pieces with pink in mind. This is the first of those. In the photos - all of them, the color is off. We had too many clouds & the lighting wasn't great. You have to hold it in your hand to really see how pretty it all looks together. Tomorrow, I may repost a better photo, but for now, this is what I have. Let's begin, shall we?
Since this is an auction for a good cause, I don't want to start lower than value, but I will. I get decent traffic here and hopefully some of those who drop in will offer a bid. The more bids, the more we get to donate.
Bidding starts at $8.00 for the Tiny Dancers (add $1.50 for shipping). Let's see that number climb!
FYI - I created these using 4mm Fuschia Swarovski crystals; 6mm Czech Fire Polished beads in soft, opaque rose; Bali style antique silver toned beads caps; 3mm Rose Swarovski crystals; Aurora Borealis soft pink seed beads; Pink glass cubes; and the pirouetting feet are Fuschia Swarovski crystals. All done against antique silver toned metals & finished with Surgical Steel ear wires.
Bidding will end Monday October, 13, 2008. The winning bid will be announced shortly after & payment arranged at that time.
This afternoon, I began to write & this is what came out of me. I used the 3rd prompt - weave a poem using these 3 lines, "I tie the ribbon in a foolish way", "the delicious fragility of this travesty", "where we still laugh and wish".
Years slip away from us.
We allow the mundane to rule
our everyday lives and
it can leave us feeling empty
when the end is near.
Strolling the woods, we arrive at the well.
Everyone knows of it.
Sumptuous gardens with flower species
in colors never seen in every day life,
adorning foliage in every shade of green.
Trees that speak of age but
hold an air of Spring newness.
Benches surround the well in a clearing.
A familiar place
where we still laugh and wish.
This day is different.
The well speaks its wisdom
an echo of a whispery voice,
"Drink...time will return to you."
We hear it, we are cautious.
We look at each other and
see our years etched in venerable skin.
We know there's little left for us here.
The well beckons again.
Our minds hear more clearly this time,
louder we are sure.
The bucket hangs like a hog on a spit,
fully roasted and welcoming consumption.
The ancient pottery kettle sways on our approach.
We feel its anticipation.
It wants to swill from the pool of life
just for us.
We both place a hand on the rickety crank
our fingers interlace.
Anxious, giddy laughter escapes in a heavy breath
and we watch the bucket lower into the dark well.
Memories I thought were gone forever
rush into my mind.
We both struggle to keep hold of the handle.
Everything we've ever known comes flooding back.
And it hurts - it's agonizing,
pure joy, excruciating, and
all encompassing happiness.
The splash brings us back.
It's loud and
droplets rise then fall
sweetly on our faces.
The vessel is filling
becoming a weight unlike any other
we've carried in our lives.
We turn the heavy bail with two hands,
now, for both of us.
We use all we have inside.
Eventually, the pail with a crystal liquid
sloshes over the side of the well.
"Give in return for a drink."
Speaks the well.
"A trinket, sentimental in value."
I instantly know and
I tie the ribbon in a foolish way
around the rope that carries
the mysterious, reflective water.
He places his chain, dog-tags in tact,
around the handle.
It was all we had.
We look in the water.
Faces we know swim with laughter
Scenes from our lives are playing out
in the reflective surface.
Our eyes sparkle.
Still anxious, we cup our hands
and fill them with those scenes.
They continue to play.
Our mouths feel full of cotton and
we know there is no turning back.
I know, so I drink first.
Refreshing and cold,
quenching a thirst I didn't know existed.
It's one I can't describe.
I feel everything I have ever known.
As I swallow, I feel whiskey on fire.
It coats my throat and comes
to a rest warmly in my stomach.
I open my eyes.
He's watching with intense excitement.
His eyes widen with awe and
his smile radiates his heart.
I can't see myself but
I feel young again.
My hands are again smooth,
youth washed into them
from a single drink.
He knows and he drinks.
I can see my experience
as it progresses in him.
The transformation is not instant,
but stunning when he opens his eyes.
We are young...again.
In that moment, we promise.
Promise to live like never before.
We will share all we never did.
I take his face in my hands an
plant a forever kiss on his lips.
As I open my eyes and pull away,
part of his lip is stuck to my own.
Horror filled me.
My hands wouldn't pull away
from his face without pulling
his face with them.
He was falling apart in them!
He reached to touch me and
I jumped back, repulsed by his
I could see the line of bone
that forms his jaw.
He was soundless
but screaming, it was in his eyes.
His mouth agape,
a breath escaped, with that breath
his teeth fell to the ground.
I stood and frantically looked at my arms,
hands, legs, anything I could see.
This wasn't happening to me.
Why wasn't this happening to me?
"Sentimental value, not anger & inability to forgive."
I heard it. Speaking again.
I ran to it & screamed into the depths.
Behind me, he continued his disintegration.
Agony eclipsed his face.
He wasn't angry with me,
he wasn't unforgiving.
He lived his life to give!
These thoughts filled my head.
"We must be able to forgive ourselves."
I look back and realize
the delicious fragility of this travesty.
I have another chance and I will not waste it.
*please pardon the hurried finish - CSI was on & I was watching & writing. I am slapping my hand as we speak.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I've not been personally touched by Breast Cancer, but I do know people who have been.
In honor of October Breast Cancer Awareness - I will offer some jewelry for auction right here on my blog.
How will it work? Once I've posted the set or the earrings, I will post a starting bid & anyone who wants to bid can do so by leaving a comment.
I will host one to 2 items for bid each week for the rest of the month.
Please consider bidding and helping support Breast Cancer awareness. 95% of proceeds will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer foundation.
Watch later tonight or tomorrow for the first item up for bid. Thanks & THINK PINK!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Dew brought home a nice cough from school and I have to thank the television for this - Maia believes that little green mucus people are living in her chest & throat.
She used to call it nougats, it's graduated to nucus. I love when she says "I hate those nucus guys, they are making my throat hurt."
Sunday, October 5, 2008
In order to help get the word out on my business, I decided to have a cool giveaway. I hope you'll like what you see & want to get in as many entries as possible so you can win!
What are the gifts you ask? Well, the winner will receive a free Custom Blog Redesign! Should you already have the blog of your dreams - here's the fun bit - you get to PAY IT FORWARD to someone else you know that wants or needs a blog redesign.
If you decide to pay it forward you'll get a custom matching earrings & bracelet set. This set will be designed the way you'd like it. I will ask you questions, show you my materials & then create the design that's right for you!
Grab my button -
1. Post about this giveaway on your blog & get 5 extra entries!
2. Refer a friend! Each commentor who mentions you will give you an additional 2 entires!
3. If you mention my giveaway each day on your blog - I will give you an additional 10 entires!
Huge thanks to Candid Carrie for pimping out my giveaway on Camp Candid Carrie! She's awesome!
Today was a fabulous day! We had a fun family dinner out. We spent all of this day together & life between us has been good for a long time. This weekend was blissful. No real arguments for a long time. No sadness or need. We've been there for each other. We've had intimacy (hard to come by with a houseful of kids). Why the doubt now?
I'm not sure where I want to take this. I need to take another journey, though. Away from what I am, now. There is a lot of explaining behind that, but I won't bore you with it. I'm not typically a depressive person, but is all this doubt indicative of that?
I keep going over something I said in an email I sent not long ago & it's so not me to be a whiner. It's not me to feel so unappreciated. It's not me to be so afraid. It's not me to look for self pity. That's where I am now. I think of things I've done & said these past few years. How comfortable this charade of not being true to who I am is. And it is very comfortable because it's easy. It is easy to stay away from most people so they can't look in. Why don't I want them to see? I don't really know.
I started trying to "help out" more financially. So far, I've lost more than I've gained. As fruitless as it's been, I still have hope that I can succeed. It's better to feel supported. That part I don't have. I mentioned, I've lost more than I've gotten. That's where Dock doesn't understand it takes time. A few months isn't enough time. I will persevere with this. I believe I have something to offer.
He busts his ass at work, puts in overtime. He is my blue collar Dock man - working on a loading dock. Loading & unloading, working in the elements. Sweaty hot & freezing cold. Coming home once in a while having sliced his arm or slipped into the space between the bay door & the trailer and coming away with a severely bruised shin. Hard working, big strength.
I owe him this. At the same time - he doesn't want my help. That says much to me. It says he loves my being here to take care of him & that's all he needs. It says that he is just as fearful as I am about my finding success. Will it help or hurt what we have? This comfort of my isolation. This comfort of me staying home all the time.
Little steps need to be taken. I have to decide how to change my course, slowly. I am not where I want to be, but I am. I am not doing all I can, but I am. It's time for my list of things to do.
1. Be a better mom. Take more time to really "be" with the kids. We're together all the time & it's become kind of mundane.
2. Make sure all my shit is done around the house. I have to clean my bedroom. The inner workings of my mind must be in there because it's a mess.
3. Believe in myself. Do the things I tell myself I'm going to. Stop making excuses. Stop being so mentally and emotionally lazy.
4. Balance my time. Somewhere in the last few months, my time is no longer mine. It belongs to everything else & nothing at all.
5. Get the fuck out of this funk. It sucks!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Dock is a very silly man. He is constantly amusing his children & me (most of the time). He likes to sing very badly. He makes up his own words for songs that we all love, making his singing even more dreadful. He likes to challenge the kids with this "wind-up" hand/arm thing he does (I must capture this on camera to show you - only he's usually under-clothed when he does it).
He likes to quote lines from movies, i.e. "Who am I?" he'll ask one of the kids. They'll look at him with a silly smile or ask "Who?". He'll answer with "Carliiittooooo. Carlito Brigante!". He's always telling them "You can't handle the truth!" when they ask him a question or "Is that clear?" and remind them they need to respond with "crystal". These movie quotes I'm mentioning are among his favorites, but there are many, many more.
He's sarcastic (and needs to learn when it's not appropriate to be so sarcastic & not to be a hypocrite about sarcasm coming from his oldest) and often a real goober. Not to mention we've had a few - I'll call them mishaps - these last few weeks.
He's the one who's always right & the boss. (I'm saying yes & shaking my head no because we all know the truth in our households) He is very much a "do as I say, not as I do" kind of guy. For example, if he locks his keys in the car, this is no farce or inconvenience to anyone. It's an accident, pure & simple. If I do it, well, all hell breaks loose & I am irresponsible or not thinking clearly enough. I've done this twice in my driving lifetime.
If he runs out of gas (which I have NEVER done), it is clearly an oversight. It is no fault of his because he was just trying to make it that extra few miles to the gas station because he knows how far his car can make it. Really?
In the last month & a half, he has run out of gas TWICE and locked his keys in his car.
The first instance of running out of gas he was at work, still, & one of his work buddies was there to help him out. The second time, I got a phone call before 7am telling me that he was "not too far" from home & on the side of the road. I have to run my boys to school by 7:30. I run out to meet him - and luckily, he really wasn't that far away - bring our gas can, pick him up (I was in no mood to stop to fill a gas can, maybe that's mean, but I wouldn't do it that time of the morning), we run to the gas station here in town, fill the can & head back over to the car. I got home just in time to take the boys to school. I made Dock take them. ;)
This past Wednesday morning, I get a phone call around 3am. I am a bit of a night owl, I sleep for a few hours, get up & get the boys off, then take a short nap til the girly gets up. He was lucky to catch me, as I was getting ready to sleep. I was very. very. tired that night. Here's how that went:
Me: (stretching and yawning) Hey!
Dock: Hi, you still up?
Me: Yes, but I'm getting ready to go to bed, why?
Dock: Well, I have a little problem.
Me: (sensing folly, suppressing a heavy sigh) What?
Dock: Well, you see *soft, nervous chuckle* (anytime he starts this way, I know a big favor is coming from my end), I think I locked my keys in the car. *more slight goober chuckling*
Me: What do you mean "you think"?
Dock: I can't see because the windows are all dewey, but I think they are in there because I can't find them anywhere else.
Dock: Right when I got to work, I had a minute (literally) to get in there & I also got a call from "Miklish". After I hung up, I just closed the door. I didn't realize I didn't have my keys until I went to get my bid.
Dock: Do you think you could come unlock my doors for me?
Me: Dude...I'm really tired. Isn't there something else you can do, get a ride home or something? (he works an hour away from our house, the kids are all sleeping and I really was pooped. My eyes were drooping.)
Dock: Well, I could get a ride from Ray, if he's up for it. I don't know if he'll do it, though. Plus, I need to turn in my bid. I have to do that tonight. Or, I could always break the window & we'll be out $250 to get it fixed.
Me: (in my head "ASS!!" plus, the really heavy sigh escapes and I pause for a long time) Well...
Dock: (he always offers me food for favors - I don't know why) If you come get me, you can stop for Steak & Shake or something on the way back. (I can see the cheeseball, goober grin of hope)
Me: I'm too tired to eat, but I'll come get you into your car. (another really heavy sigh)
So, I gather up the daughter, I couldn't fathom leaving her behind with her 2 older brothers. I didn't want to wake Andy because he was sleeping soundly and had school in a few hours - with Kyle here, I figured they'd be alright. I left a note for Kyle. If Andy got up (I thought) he'd wake Kyle & then they'd read the note to know what was up. I truly hoped Dew'd sleep the whole time I was gone. I got back 2 hours later, came into the house, noticed a pile of something ick at the top of the stairs with what looked like a partial toeprint in it.
Apparently, Dew woke up just as I was leaving (and this was my very biggest worry). He explained (when I asked) that a loud car woke him up. I believe that loud car was the garage door closing and I'd checked on him after I opened the garage, to see if that would wake him - it didn't. I am utterly baffled he didn't wake his brother up. I left lights on & the TV on (I know bad, but I felt safer that way). As much of a CHICKEN that boy is, he waited patiently & fearlessly in bed for me to return. I know he was fearless because he didn't act frightened or frazzled in any way. He didn't even notify me he was up until I started to clean up the ick at the top of the stairs. He did get up when the cat puked up a hairball and something plastic looking & stepped in it and made sure to tell me where I'd missed when I cleaned it up.
With Kyle being 14, a good kid, both of them asleep and the school day only a few hours away, I knew they'd be alright. I only worried that Andy would seriously freak if he woke up & couldn't find me. He was a brave boy and I told him so.
When we went to lay down for a few (I think we had an hour before I had to get them up), I realized he couldn't stop coughing. We went into the kitchen to struggle with getting him to take medicine. That's always a fight and this night (morning) was no exception. It took me a half hour to get him to take something for that cough. Andy stayed home from school because of his cough and because I knew he didn't get enough sleep. When his dad got home half an hour later, I wanted to KICK him.
Dock man did take Kyle to school. I was a tad bit grateful for that. The farce of the locked up keys was over.
Friday, October 3, 2008
This is my Dew & his Grandma dancing on Labor Day weekend. We had such a good time this weekend & it isn't often I get good natural smiles from the inlaws. This was joy & laughter. The weather was perfect, the food was plentiful & the fun was awesome. It was a really great weekend.
And here are Dock's parents together & looking good. They are a cute couple & they have lots of fun together. I do enjoy the time I get to spend with them.
Join the Fun!
Friday's Foto Finish Fiesta
Thursday, October 2, 2008
1. Put Shaggy (Scooby Doo's partner) and Batgirl in an elevator and write a 200 word scene.
2. Write about a time you hid from someone, or a time you disguised who you really were.
3. List 10 things worth saving then choose one of those things and write about it.
4. What did you do before we had the internet?
I'm choosing the one about the disguise. True story:
I had a friend in 8th grade & everyone used to think we were sisters - hi Lori, where ever you are! We would pretend to be, for the humor in it & we really had a lot of fun together. Why not run with it?
We took this one just a little too far, though. We had Health class for one quarter of the school year. Our teacher was Mrs. Kimball. She reminded me of a more clearly speaking Julia Child (only then I didn't know who Julia Child was, I just knew my teacher looked vaguely familiar - like someone I'd seen before). She had that kind of look & that sideways smile, not to mention the short, gray, curly locks.
We didn't give Mrs. Kimball too much credit for being an intelligent person. As the quarter moved forward, this idea held some credence. Mrs. Kimball used to confuse the two of us. She would call me Lori & Lori would be Alexis. It happened often enough to give us an idea. Just for the fun of it (we weren't the only ones she got confused about, just the ones she confused the most).
Lori & I decided to become - each other. We planned on only doing this for a day or two. Who would have believed we could carry it farther than that? No one, until we did.
Long story short (because I don't remember as much as I'd like to), I was Lori & she was me for the entire quarter! I did my homework & Lori didn't always. I got good grades on test, and Lori didn't always. You can see where this is going?
At the end of this quarter, there happened to be Parent Teacher conferences. Lori had gotten me a solid D. I was grounded (not just for that - there were some classes I didn't like - math - I had a D in that, too) until I brought my grades up. Luckily, my parents didn't ever go to the conferences.
Unfortunately, Lori's parents did go. More unfortunately, Mrs. Kimball wanted to talk to Lori's mom about why her grade was a B instead of an A. Our cover was so blown when Mrs. Kimball kept addressing Lori's mom as Mrs. Brown.
Lori was freaking out & had no one to lean on & nowhere to hide. She fessed up. I wasn't there, so her description of how pissed her mom was didn't stick with me all that well. I just remember her telling me about the yelling when they got home.
The grades weren't switched and nothing ever came of it, except a little infamy. I was stuck with her D & she got my pretty B. I can't remember if we were punished by the principal - I vaguely recall in school suspension, but I can't be certain. I had to endure that a few times for other reasons.
I was someone else for one quarter of the school year in one Health class. That was a memorable class.
I hope you'll drop by & visit the rest of the gang who loves to write! Visit Mama's Losin' It & write your own or just have fun reading the others.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
When 30 Days of Night was released in theaters, I thought it would be cool to watch it on the big screen. But we didn't. We waited, as per our usual, to watch it on DVD. This Saturday, during Kyle's sleepover, it premiered on Starz. We watched it again (we being me & Kyle - none of the other kids had seen it. My niece & nephew love scary movies & apparently Kyle's friends do, too) - the kids who didn't want to watch had the option to go play downstairs.
The first time I sat through the movie, I wasn't all that impressed. Sometimes it takes a few viewings to make me realize how cool a movie is to me. I've watched it 2 more times since Saturday & I LOVE it.
For those of you who haven't seen it, I won't ruin any surprises for you. All I will say is that I enjoy the creepy way in which the creatures are featured. It's almost realistic in the way the story is told. It has an abundance of gore - true gore, so if you're not a fan of blood & uber nasty scenes of death, don't watch.
My niece & I call one of the creatures "Hey" because every time we see him in the movie he hisses that. We loved him for that.
The ending was AWESOME - though it does leave a few lingering questions. I love what had to be done & the fact that Josh Hartnett is in this film makes it that much more watchable for me. I know that critics may not have loved this film, but as I've mentioned several times, I am indiscriminate when it comes to movies. If I watch it & love it, I do - even if it's crap to other people.
Speaking of Halloween movies - what are some of your favorites? I love 13 Ghosts (the recent version). That is one of my all time favorite movies - ever! I love the ghosts - the special effects & cinematography are awesome. When I first saw previews of that, I thought it was going to be stupid & they made the mistake of promoting the fact that Shannon Elizabeth was in it, thus leading people to believe it was mostly about her. So untrue. If you love ghost movies with some humor mixed in and great special effects - see it! You shouldn't be disappointed. "Where's the lawyer?"..."I dunno, I guess he split.." Humor.
We recently rented Prom Night - thinking it might be a wicked remake of a fairly decent slasher film (at the time the original was made, it wasn't too terrible - just a little). No dice. It was one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. There was no suspense & when I think of slasher film, I think blood & stuff. This didn't have that, not at all.
Fringe is the Xfiles of the new millenium. For me, anyhow. I watch House & usually I'd just stop watching tv after it. This new show has me watching it, instead of shutting down the tube. At times, it seems too mysterious & misleading, not to mention confusing (once in a while) and I really hope that this mystery eventually leads to a nice finish. I'm also a little worried that it will be too much. That things won't fall into place quickly enough to keep me interested & watching. It's got ideas pointing to aliens & the paranormal, plus wickedly different things happening in each episode. For now, it's pretty interesting television - to me.
Yesterday, I was taking the boys to school & my neighbors a few houses down had this wicker outdoor set with a sign that said "free" sitting on the sidewalk. Normally, I don't do this, but I don't have any furniture on my deck & Tony doesn't think it's a necessity, so we haven't yet bought any. On the way back, I grabbed it.
Why don't I do this more often, well, for one, I don't want to be known as "the garbage collector" (and that is what will happen in this house). I always feel weird if I take something that someone else is throwing out. I did that once with another neighbor, only they were close to us, so I called to ask first. Isn't that silly? The desk they were throwing out was in pristine shape, repainted & we still have it in Kyle's room. He helped me with that project & loves that he has a desk. We did this over 5 years ago.
This wicker set has 2 chairs, a table & a loveseat. I think the set has pretty much been weathered by the outdoors. Even so, the cushions are still in very good shape. I will probably replace those anyway. The table needs to have it's top redone. That will be something for next summer. Overall, the set isn't in too shabby shape. The paint is wearing off the wicker, so I can repaint it. It's dark brown right now & I'm trying to decide if I want a lighter color or if I want to stay dark. I'll do before & after shots once I've gotten it done.
In the meantime, everytime Dock man goes out & sees it, he calls me Fred Sanford. We're Sanford & Son now because I picked up someone's garbage. Plus, everytime I leave the kids toys in the yard, I am Fred then, too. Yeah, he's a dork. Really.
Monday, September 29, 2008
I know you had school & all, but we did have a buttload of fun on Saturday and we still have some ice cream left! I love you so much & hope you are having fun even though I made you go to school on your birthday! We all had to do it!
Two more years til he's driving...yikes!
This beautiful boy entered our lives. He was a quiet baby and excellent baby (again, luck I had with all of them). He slept long hours early on. He was supremely alert. Because he was like my second first child, I revelled in being a new mommy & actually experiencing it first hand. I used to read to him all the time. In the pic above on the right, that will always be one of my favorite things he did as a baby. I used to call his name from all parts of the house & he would dash his head around to find where I was. Then he'd answer with that baby "uh?" kinda like he's saying "Yeah? You want something?". Then I'd make him grin.
As he got older, he got a little serious. He was very attached to me but he wasn't afraid of other people. From all the reading I did, at 18 months he could name all the letters of the alphabet on sight. That still amazes me - had I continued at that pace he prolly would've been reading at 3. I had to go back to work, though, among other things. Back to his seriousness. I've mentioned that Dock man is sarcastic. Dock man also like to mess with little kids. So does my older brother J. Kyle woudn't have that. He used to get angry. No joking with the boy. He had his share of fits. He liked to be a solitary child. If other kids came over, he would share everything with them but end up playing alone. It didn't bother him to play alone, I think he preferred it.
While we still lived in Illinois and even after we moved to Indiana, we used to head on out to Grandma's tavern at least once a month. I know from Kyle those were some great times for him. I'm not a drinker, so we'd have RC colas together at the bar when only a few old regulars were in there. Grandma always gave Kyle some chips to bring home & we'd get cases of RC to take with us, too. Kyle & I used to spend a lot of time hanging out with Grandma.
When he started school, that was really hard for me. I'd gotten so used to having him around all day, I knew I would miss him (when we moved to Indiana, I didn't have to work any more). He was happy to go, he'd looked forward to it. He did well until we moved from there. I think it was more to do with the age & transition rather than just the transition. We moved a lot when I was a kid, so I understand how hard it can be to start over. So, now he is an underachiever in school. I hope he gets that what I tell him is true - things for him now are supremely easy compared to what life truly is. It's work and it always will be. A good life is worth the long hours we put in, though. There are so many things I hope I can remember for a very long time, forever, even. Like the way he used to say "pertick" (perfect). When he was younger than 2, my mom had a voice mail (not anymore, sadly) that had him talking about getting sockem' boppers (member those? heh). Santa clAUs? was going to bring him sockEM BOPperS? The statements were questions then. And the stresses on the words, well, they were just adorable.
Kyle was in a play in 3rd grade & I am so glad we got a video tape of it. This drama program from one of the nearby universities went to different schools & would put on a play, training the students within the school system. They did this in one week. It was an amazing thing. I do have one regret about this, I went into labor with my daughter the weekend of the play. I had to miss his acting debut live. & the boy was incredible! He had the best time, too. It was a rewrite of the classic Rumplestiltskin. Kyle played the King, King Whatzat - the king was rather hard of hearing. Because of the individual attention they got, all of the kids were spot on in this, after only a week of learning lines & rehearsals. One week! It still baffles me how it was done & done so well. He's been a fan of drama since then. He was stage crew in another play, in choir & will probably be in more plays as time goes on. I look forward to the rest of his performances. In choir this year, he was one of the Jackson 5 for their Spring concert - if I can ever get the dang video uploaded, I will post it for you to enjoy!
The boy loves computer games & any gaming system in general. Sometimes I wish he loved to read (and I hope I instilled a love of books) as much as he loved to play. He still has toys & plays with them (not as often as he used to). He has gotten better at being responsible for himself. He's gotten better at doing things without being told. He has moments of utmost respect. I think we are lucky to have a 13 year old who is still really a kid, even if he thinks he's smarter than we are. I hope I helped him to remain one. When I mentioned I tried to instill a love of books, I used to read him kid novels before he could read them himself. We love the Harry Potter series & after we saw The Sorcerer's Stone, we got the next book. I read him those until the early middle of the Goblet of Fire, then he could read them himself. I've read him many short stories and we always enjoyed talking about the books we read. He still likes it when I read to him (them all, actually).
I always said he was going to be my good boy in highschool. I still believe that. He asked about college a few weeks back & I reminded him that he would have to help in the grades department. I hope that part catches on soon. He wants to chase storms when he's old enough, much to my horror. I can just imagine him getting sucked up by a twister - one of my big fears. He's talked about going on to meteorolgy, but who knows. Impressionable young minds change their options on the turn of a dime.