Here we are, in 2019. Early in 2019, but 7 or so years later?
The older boy is now married (and 24), I couldn't be happier for him. They tied the knot only at the beginning of Jan. It was lovely & just immediate family until she gets back from her deployment. She, the sigot (significant other), is an amazing young person who makes me very proud to be the mom of my son. Who knew he'd do so well. Speaking of doing well, he plays guitar, amazingly so. I wish him the best of everything in his life, including making his dreams come true.
Dew (18 in a couple weeks) no longer screams, but yells instead - nowhere near as much, thank fuck! He is taller than I am, and obsessed with his health & fitness. He works out every day & tries (sometimes) to watch what he's eating. He doesn't really have to because his metabolism is so high, he doesn't gain any weight, like, ever. No matter what he eats... He's grown into a good young person. He only has issues with his sister, which I still cannot understand.
Princess Fluffyfart (15 in April) has grown into an incredible young woman, angsty as all get out (NO DARLING I DIDN'T CALL YOU ANGSTY & MEAN IT, it's just that sometimes, you are.) Recommended into 3 honors classes her freshman year (this school year), straight As, classy dresser, classic beauty - I dunno why she worries about some of the stuff she does so much. I guess it's a teen girl thing.
So, hey, I won't stay here long. I have this lack of consistency thing. *cough, cough*
Friday, February 22, 2019
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Cool Things, Rants and Changes
So my Andewd is now 11. Last week, we scoured the net (store websites) & he picked his gifts. One of those gifts was this game, which at the time we didn't know was going to be stellar cool. The game is called Skylanders Spyro's Adventure. You can buy it for any platform (I think) - Xbox, Wii, PS3, DS. It has web codes that you can use online so that you can apply your characters to the online version of the game. This game is like a smorgasbord of fun, seriously! First, I want to tell you how very cool this game is; then I'm going to rant about the rules, laws, whatever of supply and demand.
The complete game can be purchased for $70 for the Wii, PS3 and 3DS, $60 for the Xbox. It comes with the game, the portal & 3 characters. Most games on intro are priced around there ($50 - $60, typically), so I was thinking this price was a good deal because of all that comes with it. One of the coolest things, which is entirely innovative as far as platform gaming, it has what's called a "portal of power". It's a little round platform, about 4 inches in diameter with a white topside. It's surrounded by what looks like stone (plastic) with neat-o little symbols on parts of it. When you pull it out of the box, the first thing you realize is they give you batteries. Who does that? When you open the battery compartment, there is a little wireless USB inside that you will plug into your platform to communicate with the portal of power. Add the batteries, turn it on (the power button is camouflaged, but you'll find it) and zippity, it lights up! It goes through the colors of the rainbow.
Once the game begins, it will ask you to place a champion on the portal of power. Eon, the old wizard like guy tells the tale of the lost Portal Masters and now you (the player) are here to stop the evil Portal Master Kaos from taking over the Skylands (or whatever). The game comes prepackaged with 3 champions - Spyro (magical element), Trigger Happy (tech element) and Gil Grunt (water element). You place on of those toy characters on the platform & they pop into the game. They can be replaced by each other at any time during game play, except cut-scenes. I find it incredibly cool that you can switch out your characters at will.
There are 32 different characters for this game, 4 for each element. The elements that I didn't mention before are air, earth, life, death & fire. Each character has special abilities and you can buy upgrades for all of them. The enemies are fun and funny, and for each new one introduced there is a short cut to a thought bubble with what to watch out for. The enemies are minions of Kaos, setting out to foil your recovery of the power sources.
Game play is very kid friendly - smooth and pretty straight forward. Tasks to reach the goals are easy to manage and the puzzles are not very puzzling. As in many games for kids, there is no true dying, the characters need to rest until the next level once they've been knocked out. It isn't a complex game at all which makes it extremely family friendly. In my house, we are all playing and we are all having fun.
In each level, there are mini areas that can only be accessed by the character with that element. This is where my rant comes in. I didn't read all there was to read about the game. I just thought it looked like a great game for kids and I loved the idea of plopping a little action figured on top of the portal & having that character come to life in the game.
In the beginning, I wasn't at all excited about having to purchase more characters to enhance the game. It is kind of gimmicky. When I did an online search for the characters & saw them listed for $15.99 (typically 17.99) & up for a single character I was of the mind that we didn't need any, that's just way too much to pay for a little action figure that isn't even necessary to get through the story. I found one character via Amazon for $999,999.00. (it seems that one has been removed, because I can't find it any longer - but still...). A 3 pack of characters retails at Walmart for $19.96 and single pack characters are only $8.96. Those prices are much more manageable.
Since we got the game, we have been trying to buy more characters to use to play the areas that are only accessible by a certain elemental quality. No one retailer can keep the characters in the store for more than an hour, no matter how many they get. They won't tell you when they are getting them in and they tell you it's because they don't know. Walmart was actually the most informative last week. The CS person told me they were due a shipment of a lot of 54 sometime in the next week, not sure of the exact day. So I called, every day. Twice a day. The shipment came in on Monday. I first called around 7:30 - 8:00 am. The person I spoke to said there weren't any. I called again later in the day & the person I spoke to that time told me they had sold out. He also told me that people come in & buy them all out to resell them on ebay, for a 150% (and much higher) mark up.
Activision, Toys for Bob, whoever is responsible may not have anticipated the popularity of the game. I understand that. The game was released in Oct 2011. You would think by now, they would understand that the supply of characters is not meeting the demand. And free enterprising people are waiting outside the stores & gobbling up every single character that comes in so that we, the average mom who wants the characters for their kids, aren't getting the chance to purchase the characters unless we're willing to fork out extra cash to people who have no association to the game. I refuse to do that. We're left waiting until either Toys for Bob increases production or the popularity dies down. You'd think that the manufacturer would want to be taking in the profit, rather than allowing these schmoes to be making it.
I won't knock ecommerce because of this, even though it is a huge factor in the lack of availability - just as it was when the Wii, PS3 & Xbox were new. It's sucks that my son has some extra birthday money set aside for these things and he can't get them because the supply isn't meeting the demand. Maybe it's a dumb rant, but it's how I feel. I love playing games and this one is a lot of fun. I would recommend it to anyone with kids any age, that like to play video games.
On to changes...I don't think I've ever been happy with the design of my blog. Thing is, now I don't really have all that much time to fiddle with it. You might see it different each time you drop by. Eventually, I'll get it right. I can design like the dickens for others, I just can't figure out what I want for my own.
The complete game can be purchased for $70 for the Wii, PS3 and 3DS, $60 for the Xbox. It comes with the game, the portal & 3 characters. Most games on intro are priced around there ($50 - $60, typically), so I was thinking this price was a good deal because of all that comes with it. One of the coolest things, which is entirely innovative as far as platform gaming, it has what's called a "portal of power". It's a little round platform, about 4 inches in diameter with a white topside. It's surrounded by what looks like stone (plastic) with neat-o little symbols on parts of it. When you pull it out of the box, the first thing you realize is they give you batteries. Who does that? When you open the battery compartment, there is a little wireless USB inside that you will plug into your platform to communicate with the portal of power. Add the batteries, turn it on (the power button is camouflaged, but you'll find it) and zippity, it lights up! It goes through the colors of the rainbow.
Once the game begins, it will ask you to place a champion on the portal of power. Eon, the old wizard like guy tells the tale of the lost Portal Masters and now you (the player) are here to stop the evil Portal Master Kaos from taking over the Skylands (or whatever). The game comes prepackaged with 3 champions - Spyro (magical element), Trigger Happy (tech element) and Gil Grunt (water element). You place on of those toy characters on the platform & they pop into the game. They can be replaced by each other at any time during game play, except cut-scenes. I find it incredibly cool that you can switch out your characters at will.
There are 32 different characters for this game, 4 for each element. The elements that I didn't mention before are air, earth, life, death & fire. Each character has special abilities and you can buy upgrades for all of them. The enemies are fun and funny, and for each new one introduced there is a short cut to a thought bubble with what to watch out for. The enemies are minions of Kaos, setting out to foil your recovery of the power sources.
Game play is very kid friendly - smooth and pretty straight forward. Tasks to reach the goals are easy to manage and the puzzles are not very puzzling. As in many games for kids, there is no true dying, the characters need to rest until the next level once they've been knocked out. It isn't a complex game at all which makes it extremely family friendly. In my house, we are all playing and we are all having fun.
In each level, there are mini areas that can only be accessed by the character with that element. This is where my rant comes in. I didn't read all there was to read about the game. I just thought it looked like a great game for kids and I loved the idea of plopping a little action figured on top of the portal & having that character come to life in the game.
In the beginning, I wasn't at all excited about having to purchase more characters to enhance the game. It is kind of gimmicky. When I did an online search for the characters & saw them listed for $15.99 (typically 17.99) & up for a single character I was of the mind that we didn't need any, that's just way too much to pay for a little action figure that isn't even necessary to get through the story. I found one character via Amazon for $999,999.00. (it seems that one has been removed, because I can't find it any longer - but still...). A 3 pack of characters retails at Walmart for $19.96 and single pack characters are only $8.96. Those prices are much more manageable.
Since we got the game, we have been trying to buy more characters to use to play the areas that are only accessible by a certain elemental quality. No one retailer can keep the characters in the store for more than an hour, no matter how many they get. They won't tell you when they are getting them in and they tell you it's because they don't know. Walmart was actually the most informative last week. The CS person told me they were due a shipment of a lot of 54 sometime in the next week, not sure of the exact day. So I called, every day. Twice a day. The shipment came in on Monday. I first called around 7:30 - 8:00 am. The person I spoke to said there weren't any. I called again later in the day & the person I spoke to that time told me they had sold out. He also told me that people come in & buy them all out to resell them on ebay, for a 150% (and much higher) mark up.
Activision, Toys for Bob, whoever is responsible may not have anticipated the popularity of the game. I understand that. The game was released in Oct 2011. You would think by now, they would understand that the supply of characters is not meeting the demand. And free enterprising people are waiting outside the stores & gobbling up every single character that comes in so that we, the average mom who wants the characters for their kids, aren't getting the chance to purchase the characters unless we're willing to fork out extra cash to people who have no association to the game. I refuse to do that. We're left waiting until either Toys for Bob increases production or the popularity dies down. You'd think that the manufacturer would want to be taking in the profit, rather than allowing these schmoes to be making it.
I won't knock ecommerce because of this, even though it is a huge factor in the lack of availability - just as it was when the Wii, PS3 & Xbox were new. It's sucks that my son has some extra birthday money set aside for these things and he can't get them because the supply isn't meeting the demand. Maybe it's a dumb rant, but it's how I feel. I love playing games and this one is a lot of fun. I would recommend it to anyone with kids any age, that like to play video games.
******************************
On to changes...I don't think I've ever been happy with the design of my blog. Thing is, now I don't really have all that much time to fiddle with it. You might see it different each time you drop by. Eventually, I'll get it right. I can design like the dickens for others, I just can't figure out what I want for my own.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Age
Is it really nothing but a number? I always thought that's how I felt about it. Now that I'm back in school, I might be swaying in a different direction. While there are people my age, around my age, and older than me I can feel the younger students regarding me in a different light. Maybe it's a testament that I really wasn't getting out enough. All of these observations are making me weigh how I view age at different times in my life.
At this stage of my life, I'll find myself watching reruns of old tv shows. Not really old reruns, recent ones. I was watching House the other day and it was an episode from 2007. I thought Wow, that was 5 years ago - I was only 35. We'll turn on a movie and I'll check the year it was made (thank you directv) and be exasperated that it's 12 or 14 years old. What? Those actors look so much younger! Am I looking that much older, too? 10 years ago, I can honestly say, I didn't think this way. These thoughts didn't go through my mind. Maybe I'm realizing what all those older people in my life were telling me about time passing way too quickly. I'm also seeing that time goes by more quickly (or seems to) with each year that passes.
When I look in the mirror, I don't see much age. I do see that I'm older, but I don't see "old". I know that I am viewed as old by really young people. I have conversations with nineteens & twenty somethings and I become fully aware at the respect they hold - maybe respect isn't the right word. It's more of a "regard", as I mentioned earlier, they regard me in a different way. I look in the mirror and don't see old, but I also absolutely do not feel old. I feel just like I did at 19. The only thing that feels different is my mind. It feels more adept at life. It feels a little wiser and it knows that there is something to be experienced, or learned, every day. It's a consciousness that I think can only come with age, with living longer. Each year that passes brings me to a better awareness of this. If I look back, even the difference (in awareness) between 19 and 24 was astounding.
Another thing I am much more aware of, even though I've always had this in the back of my mind (as an adult), is how my elders feel. I think about those who are in their 60s or above and think How must they feel? I know that I feel the same inside, even though I look a little older - but they look a lot older. I'm sure I'll have a better understanding of those feeling when I get there. I can say that I'm treating them differently. I'm trying to be more objective in realizing that they are the very same people today that they were when they were younger. I didn't have thoughts like this 10 years ago, either. Unconsciously, I think I always regarded them as if they were just old people. And I have a great deal more respect for those who've lived longer than I have. They know more than I do, they've experienced more than I have. I think that's natural for all of us.
Then there's the idea that these older people do act differently. As we get older, we direct ourselves more keenly toward everyday activities. We take less for granted and even some of my friends who were excessively outspoken have toned it down. We are still ourselves, but better. I know this isn't true for everyone, but it is for most people. I know people that respectfully carry themselves with their youth. They seem the same, well, they are the same - they just have a youthfulness about them that so many people I know have lost. One of my best friends now, Jill, is that way. I take comfort in being around her innocence, her honesty and her ability to just be the same.
I just want to always remember, and be conscious of, the fact that we are all still the same, no matter what number of years have passed. Those years do represent a simple number, but to everyone those numbers signify a lot more than what the first question of this blog post might convey. Some years are labeled as milestones - 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, etc. What signifies those as milestones is probably different for everyone. 16, 18 or 21 were not milestones for me, they were just birthdays. 30 and 40 did feel like they were milestones fro me. What will 50 bring? I don't want to be there, yet, and I think I won't want to be there when I get there. It just sounds so old.
At this stage of my life, I'll find myself watching reruns of old tv shows. Not really old reruns, recent ones. I was watching House the other day and it was an episode from 2007. I thought Wow, that was 5 years ago - I was only 35. We'll turn on a movie and I'll check the year it was made (thank you directv) and be exasperated that it's 12 or 14 years old. What? Those actors look so much younger! Am I looking that much older, too? 10 years ago, I can honestly say, I didn't think this way. These thoughts didn't go through my mind. Maybe I'm realizing what all those older people in my life were telling me about time passing way too quickly. I'm also seeing that time goes by more quickly (or seems to) with each year that passes.
When I look in the mirror, I don't see much age. I do see that I'm older, but I don't see "old". I know that I am viewed as old by really young people. I have conversations with nineteens & twenty somethings and I become fully aware at the respect they hold - maybe respect isn't the right word. It's more of a "regard", as I mentioned earlier, they regard me in a different way. I look in the mirror and don't see old, but I also absolutely do not feel old. I feel just like I did at 19. The only thing that feels different is my mind. It feels more adept at life. It feels a little wiser and it knows that there is something to be experienced, or learned, every day. It's a consciousness that I think can only come with age, with living longer. Each year that passes brings me to a better awareness of this. If I look back, even the difference (in awareness) between 19 and 24 was astounding.
Another thing I am much more aware of, even though I've always had this in the back of my mind (as an adult), is how my elders feel. I think about those who are in their 60s or above and think How must they feel? I know that I feel the same inside, even though I look a little older - but they look a lot older. I'm sure I'll have a better understanding of those feeling when I get there. I can say that I'm treating them differently. I'm trying to be more objective in realizing that they are the very same people today that they were when they were younger. I didn't have thoughts like this 10 years ago, either. Unconsciously, I think I always regarded them as if they were just old people. And I have a great deal more respect for those who've lived longer than I have. They know more than I do, they've experienced more than I have. I think that's natural for all of us.
Then there's the idea that these older people do act differently. As we get older, we direct ourselves more keenly toward everyday activities. We take less for granted and even some of my friends who were excessively outspoken have toned it down. We are still ourselves, but better. I know this isn't true for everyone, but it is for most people. I know people that respectfully carry themselves with their youth. They seem the same, well, they are the same - they just have a youthfulness about them that so many people I know have lost. One of my best friends now, Jill, is that way. I take comfort in being around her innocence, her honesty and her ability to just be the same.
I just want to always remember, and be conscious of, the fact that we are all still the same, no matter what number of years have passed. Those years do represent a simple number, but to everyone those numbers signify a lot more than what the first question of this blog post might convey. Some years are labeled as milestones - 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, etc. What signifies those as milestones is probably different for everyone. 16, 18 or 21 were not milestones for me, they were just birthdays. 30 and 40 did feel like they were milestones fro me. What will 50 bring? I don't want to be there, yet, and I think I won't want to be there when I get there. It just sounds so old.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tough for some not so tough for others
There are probably some things I can blog about every day. One of the better things about this being my blog, I can decide what's blog worthy & what isn't. Most of what goes on in my life on a daily basis isn't, so much. The whole purpose of this thing, to write. Write, write, and write. I just have to consider my topics. But really, do I have to? One of the things that drives me forward is "free writing". It's what opens my mind up - even if what rolls under my fingers on the keyboard is blather.
In my writing course at school, we're working on a personal narrative. I keep telling myself I don't like writing about my life, yet it's what I do here. Ha haaaaa! Is this easier? Yes, because it's free writing, not structured writing. Our first draft of the narrative is due on Wednesday. Then we get to participate in a peer review. I like that part, when it's effective. If the person critiquing my paper is afraid to be honest about what they read, then I can't make it right. We've only done this once, so far - critiqued. A bit more practice is in order because I don't believe I am an authority on the process of writing. I can only critique a paper based on what I, the reader, want to be reading.
In my writing course at school, we're working on a personal narrative. I keep telling myself I don't like writing about my life, yet it's what I do here. Ha haaaaa! Is this easier? Yes, because it's free writing, not structured writing. Our first draft of the narrative is due on Wednesday. Then we get to participate in a peer review. I like that part, when it's effective. If the person critiquing my paper is afraid to be honest about what they read, then I can't make it right. We've only done this once, so far - critiqued. A bit more practice is in order because I don't believe I am an authority on the process of writing. I can only critique a paper based on what I, the reader, want to be reading.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
"waaahhhahahah" (muffled sounding crowd cheers)
That is what it would sound like if my blog were like the Superbowl of blogs - hey, the "once a year" thing fits. It isn't. I don't mind not having any fanfare because I've always been so inconsistent and I'm not really into that.
There has been a lot of good stuff going on in my life lately. I started college in January. Took the plunge into higher education. I am enjoying my education so far, but I'm finding myself climbing the fence on my area of study. I can go into more detail of that later. For now, I just want to encourage myself to do this blog thing on a regular basis.
Writing has always been important in my life. The earliest I can remember writing becoming important to me is around the age of 10 or so. In order to write, I must write. Even if it is blah. Faithful friends and readers (echo, echo-o, echo-o-o) - okay, I am strictly speaking to myself because I need a good talking to - I duly swear to become a consistent blogger. It is what I'm going to call "my craft". I may not be good or perfect at it, but it's what I love. I also promise to participate in one free write thing a month.
I think this is so often why I "go away". I get myself involved in too many memes and want to do everything there is to do, comment on every blog I enjoy reading. I am not that person, by nature. I need to limit myself on what I get involved in, as far as blogging goes. I just hope that I don't keep finding excellent blogs to read. I know I will have my select few that I always return to and comment on.
You may notice as time passes that my writing may become a little more organized. It may make more sense. It may flow the way it's supposed to. Of course, that's what a college writing course will do. I will be able to apply that, at least, in my life.
There has been a lot of good stuff going on in my life lately. I started college in January. Took the plunge into higher education. I am enjoying my education so far, but I'm finding myself climbing the fence on my area of study. I can go into more detail of that later. For now, I just want to encourage myself to do this blog thing on a regular basis.
Writing has always been important in my life. The earliest I can remember writing becoming important to me is around the age of 10 or so. In order to write, I must write. Even if it is blah. Faithful friends and readers (echo, echo-o, echo-o-o) - okay, I am strictly speaking to myself because I need a good talking to - I duly swear to become a consistent blogger. It is what I'm going to call "my craft". I may not be good or perfect at it, but it's what I love. I also promise to participate in one free write thing a month.
I think this is so often why I "go away". I get myself involved in too many memes and want to do everything there is to do, comment on every blog I enjoy reading. I am not that person, by nature. I need to limit myself on what I get involved in, as far as blogging goes. I just hope that I don't keep finding excellent blogs to read. I know I will have my select few that I always return to and comment on.
You may notice as time passes that my writing may become a little more organized. It may make more sense. It may flow the way it's supposed to. Of course, that's what a college writing course will do. I will be able to apply that, at least, in my life.
Friday, August 5, 2011
One Life - fiction
This piece is directly related to my recent post One Life for Eight Others. Some thoughts about what might happen to a serial killer upon and after death. I have a lot more in my head & I will see how it all plays out.
The last day on earth. God didn't find me in here, if there is one. So many of these assholes are fased by the Word and it sickens me. What the fuck kind of God creates a man like me? One who thrives on seeing death at the moment of it? One who fantasizes about making them suffer? One who loves killing?
All the other murderous souls have sought forgiveness. They find it, but not within themselves. Because like I know, they know too, it doesn't matter because we are all going to die. Why would I want to forgive something I love? Maybe I'm the only one, but I don't think so. I just think I'm the only one who's honest about it. They are all wanting the fantasy of a heaven. In my right mind, I can't fathom that anyone who's done the things I've done could find a place where all is good. The only good I know is what I've done & I don't think heaven is a killing place.
"Roberts," called the guard. "It's time for your menu."
"Yeah, I got it." I slid the paper across the opening in the door. They actually gave me a pen earlier. I wrote a little more than my menu.
I knew I only had so many hours left. I walked back over to the bench & laid down. I closed my eyes. There she was. I could see her so vividly and she was the end of me. I was used to the aversion of the gaze. I was used to the fear and the disgust and the pleading in their eyes, if I could catch a glimpse. But, oh ho, she was different. I think that's why she lived.
Her eyes lied to me. They looked straight into mine & lied. I saw a tinge of fear, the baby blues looked almost serene, and that told me she saw love. The calmness made me untie her hands. She wrapped them around me. I could feel her nails braise my skin lightly and I was looking, locked into her stare. I didn't know I'd let her go & in the moment, I was the one confused. I wanted what she was givin' so badly. She was so smart. She did deserve to live but if I saw her today, I'd rip her head clean from her body.
I got up & walked to look through the wire in the small window. It was 4:36, only a few more hours before it would all be over.
Gallant was watching the inmate with intensity. He wondered what the guy was going through. Gallant didn't feel sorry for him, not even a little. After having several conversations, because there wasn't much else to do on death row, he realized this guy was a true monster. Without a heart, without a soul - Jess Roberts was on his way to the only place he belonged, hell.
Gallant saw Jess look at the time. It was so hard for him not to think of what the inmate might be thinking. Was Jess afraid to die? He sure didn't seem like it. This was only the second lethal Gallant would be guarding. The other experience was vastly different, the inmate at the time, Freddie Claussen, was utterly shaken & remorseful for his acts. Gallant knows from his experience that most of them are only sorry for getting caught, sorry for themselves. Claussen seemed to be truly sorry for what he did and while he was a total basket case walking the mile, he was accepting of what was coming to him.
Roberts didn't look like a monster. He didn't have evil, beady black eyes like many of them did. He didn't have a spiked tail growing out of his ass or horns growing from his head, but Gallant thought he should have both. He was of medium build, a little on the tall side, not unassuming because he had boyish good looks. Roberts had a face with soft features & wide light brown eyes. Gallant knew that women fell for men like this and it was telling because of the amount of letters Jess Roberts had gotten in Gallant's short 4 year tenure on Death Row, all from women, all with photos and dribble of love.
Gallant was holding on to one last letter. It might be one of those things that enrages an inmate who is about to die. Gallant wanted everyone to be prepared for it. The woman who sent the letter asked that Gallant wait til the latest possible moment to give it to Roberts.
ConCrit is encouraged. I'd like to know what you see when you read, what does it make you feel like?
The last day on earth. God didn't find me in here, if there is one. So many of these assholes are fased by the Word and it sickens me. What the fuck kind of God creates a man like me? One who thrives on seeing death at the moment of it? One who fantasizes about making them suffer? One who loves killing?
All the other murderous souls have sought forgiveness. They find it, but not within themselves. Because like I know, they know too, it doesn't matter because we are all going to die. Why would I want to forgive something I love? Maybe I'm the only one, but I don't think so. I just think I'm the only one who's honest about it. They are all wanting the fantasy of a heaven. In my right mind, I can't fathom that anyone who's done the things I've done could find a place where all is good. The only good I know is what I've done & I don't think heaven is a killing place.
"Roberts," called the guard. "It's time for your menu."
"Yeah, I got it." I slid the paper across the opening in the door. They actually gave me a pen earlier. I wrote a little more than my menu.
I knew I only had so many hours left. I walked back over to the bench & laid down. I closed my eyes. There she was. I could see her so vividly and she was the end of me. I was used to the aversion of the gaze. I was used to the fear and the disgust and the pleading in their eyes, if I could catch a glimpse. But, oh ho, she was different. I think that's why she lived.
Her eyes lied to me. They looked straight into mine & lied. I saw a tinge of fear, the baby blues looked almost serene, and that told me she saw love. The calmness made me untie her hands. She wrapped them around me. I could feel her nails braise my skin lightly and I was looking, locked into her stare. I didn't know I'd let her go & in the moment, I was the one confused. I wanted what she was givin' so badly. She was so smart. She did deserve to live but if I saw her today, I'd rip her head clean from her body.
I got up & walked to look through the wire in the small window. It was 4:36, only a few more hours before it would all be over.
Gallant was watching the inmate with intensity. He wondered what the guy was going through. Gallant didn't feel sorry for him, not even a little. After having several conversations, because there wasn't much else to do on death row, he realized this guy was a true monster. Without a heart, without a soul - Jess Roberts was on his way to the only place he belonged, hell.
Gallant saw Jess look at the time. It was so hard for him not to think of what the inmate might be thinking. Was Jess afraid to die? He sure didn't seem like it. This was only the second lethal Gallant would be guarding. The other experience was vastly different, the inmate at the time, Freddie Claussen, was utterly shaken & remorseful for his acts. Gallant knows from his experience that most of them are only sorry for getting caught, sorry for themselves. Claussen seemed to be truly sorry for what he did and while he was a total basket case walking the mile, he was accepting of what was coming to him.
Roberts didn't look like a monster. He didn't have evil, beady black eyes like many of them did. He didn't have a spiked tail growing out of his ass or horns growing from his head, but Gallant thought he should have both. He was of medium build, a little on the tall side, not unassuming because he had boyish good looks. Roberts had a face with soft features & wide light brown eyes. Gallant knew that women fell for men like this and it was telling because of the amount of letters Jess Roberts had gotten in Gallant's short 4 year tenure on Death Row, all from women, all with photos and dribble of love.
Gallant was holding on to one last letter. It might be one of those things that enrages an inmate who is about to die. Gallant wanted everyone to be prepared for it. The woman who sent the letter asked that Gallant wait til the latest possible moment to give it to Roberts.
ConCrit is encouraged. I'd like to know what you see when you read, what does it make you feel like?
Monday, August 1, 2011
Monday Listicles - My Favorite Sci-fi
Head on over to The Good Life to add your own fun list.
This week, I'm going with some of my all time favorite Science Fiction shows, most of them are recent. I didn't have a hankerin' for anything Sci-fi until 11 grade. I decided to take, of all types of classes, a Science Fiction class. I figured it would be cake & I needed a good elective. I didn't expect that I would excel in & enjoy that class. The first book I read for an assignment was The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. While I don't remember it like I should, I do remember being enthralled by the stories within it. I aced several reports & it put my GPA in good standing for that first quarter of school. I dropped out shortly thereafter, but went to another school instead.
Most of these are relatively new shows. I know there are plenty of old shows that deserve some cred here, but I'm just wanting to tell you about my recent faves.
In no particular favorite order:
1. The X Files - no need to explain this one. Fox Mulder was enough reason to watch. I miss the abduction tales, the weird happenings & the Smoking Man.
2. The Outer Limits the one revised by Showtime in the early 90s. The original is good, too, just not one of my faves.
3. Haven - a newer show, only in it's second season, but so cool! It's based on Stephen King's short The Colorado Kid. The people in Haven suffer from "troubles". One particular woman was a taxidermist. She was angry for some reason or another (can't remember why) and all of her "clients" were coming back to life & killing people. The sheriff (now, cause his dad died & was the sheriff before) has no sense of touch, can't feel anything. He's one of the troubled. Emily Rose (from John from Cincinnati - another oddball show that only lasted one season - but I liked it) is FBI agent (or something) Audrey Parker who shares the memories of the real FBI agent Audrey Parker whom we met for the first time at the end of last season.
4. Warehouse 13 - another new show - maybe 2nd or 3rd season, it is a warehouse that safely houses artifacts from history that have special attributions, or dangerous powers. It's so much fun!! The agents work for a curious woman called Mrs. Frederic. She controls the warehouse & oversees the agents. Lots of humor in the show.
5. Stargate SG-1 - the series on Showtime before it was bought by Scy-fy. The episodes with Richard Dean Anderson were the best episodes. Once the original cast was broken up, I didn't watch. Most of the original cast came back, but it was hard for me to get back into it without the boss.
6. Alphas - another new show on Scyfy. It just premiered a few weeks ago & I love it! It's about "special" people. I never watched Heroes, couldn't wrap my head around it - but this show may be along the same lines. The Alphas are special in some way or another. One of the main characters has heightened senses, she can smell, feel & see things that are long gone. Another main character has super human strength, yet another has the ability to "push" people, manipulate minds.
7. Torchwood - Miracle Day - brand spankin new to Starz. I fell in love with this show right away, too. One day, they call it Miracle Day, people just stop dying. People who should be dead can't die, no one can die. Basically all of humanity has become immortal. In the last episode a woman who was speaking out against the "dead" was crushed in a car crusher. The very end of the episode saw her eye peeking from behind bent metal. Torchwood is a group of people who are trying to figure out what or who is behind Miracle Day & how to get people to die again.
8. Sliders - OMG! Jerry O'Connell after so many years (totally only remembered him from Stand By Me). I used to love this show & was sad to see it end too soon. I love time travel stuff, but not Dr. Who.
9. Fringe - amazing newer show, in the same vein as the X-Files with mysterious creatures & alien interference. It's also multi-dimensional. There have been some outstanding episodes that are ripe with creativity & neat-o tv programming, like stuff you only expect to see in movies.
10. Millenium - not entirely sure if this would qualify, but the lead character was an FBI profiler had the ability to get into the minds of serial killers & liaisoned with a mysterious group that was focused on the end of the world, the Millenium Group. It only lasted 3 short seasons. I was a fan.
This week, I'm going with some of my all time favorite Science Fiction shows, most of them are recent. I didn't have a hankerin' for anything Sci-fi until 11 grade. I decided to take, of all types of classes, a Science Fiction class. I figured it would be cake & I needed a good elective. I didn't expect that I would excel in & enjoy that class. The first book I read for an assignment was The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. While I don't remember it like I should, I do remember being enthralled by the stories within it. I aced several reports & it put my GPA in good standing for that first quarter of school. I dropped out shortly thereafter, but went to another school instead.
Most of these are relatively new shows. I know there are plenty of old shows that deserve some cred here, but I'm just wanting to tell you about my recent faves.
In no particular favorite order:
1. The X Files - no need to explain this one. Fox Mulder was enough reason to watch. I miss the abduction tales, the weird happenings & the Smoking Man.
2. The Outer Limits the one revised by Showtime in the early 90s. The original is good, too, just not one of my faves.
3. Haven - a newer show, only in it's second season, but so cool! It's based on Stephen King's short The Colorado Kid. The people in Haven suffer from "troubles". One particular woman was a taxidermist. She was angry for some reason or another (can't remember why) and all of her "clients" were coming back to life & killing people. The sheriff (now, cause his dad died & was the sheriff before) has no sense of touch, can't feel anything. He's one of the troubled. Emily Rose (from John from Cincinnati - another oddball show that only lasted one season - but I liked it) is FBI agent (or something) Audrey Parker who shares the memories of the real FBI agent Audrey Parker whom we met for the first time at the end of last season.
4. Warehouse 13 - another new show - maybe 2nd or 3rd season, it is a warehouse that safely houses artifacts from history that have special attributions, or dangerous powers. It's so much fun!! The agents work for a curious woman called Mrs. Frederic. She controls the warehouse & oversees the agents. Lots of humor in the show.
5. Stargate SG-1 - the series on Showtime before it was bought by Scy-fy. The episodes with Richard Dean Anderson were the best episodes. Once the original cast was broken up, I didn't watch. Most of the original cast came back, but it was hard for me to get back into it without the boss.
6. Alphas - another new show on Scyfy. It just premiered a few weeks ago & I love it! It's about "special" people. I never watched Heroes, couldn't wrap my head around it - but this show may be along the same lines. The Alphas are special in some way or another. One of the main characters has heightened senses, she can smell, feel & see things that are long gone. Another main character has super human strength, yet another has the ability to "push" people, manipulate minds.
7. Torchwood - Miracle Day - brand spankin new to Starz. I fell in love with this show right away, too. One day, they call it Miracle Day, people just stop dying. People who should be dead can't die, no one can die. Basically all of humanity has become immortal. In the last episode a woman who was speaking out against the "dead" was crushed in a car crusher. The very end of the episode saw her eye peeking from behind bent metal. Torchwood is a group of people who are trying to figure out what or who is behind Miracle Day & how to get people to die again.
8. Sliders - OMG! Jerry O'Connell after so many years (totally only remembered him from Stand By Me). I used to love this show & was sad to see it end too soon. I love time travel stuff, but not Dr. Who.
9. Fringe - amazing newer show, in the same vein as the X-Files with mysterious creatures & alien interference. It's also multi-dimensional. There have been some outstanding episodes that are ripe with creativity & neat-o tv programming, like stuff you only expect to see in movies.
10. Millenium - not entirely sure if this would qualify, but the lead character was an FBI profiler had the ability to get into the minds of serial killers & liaisoned with a mysterious group that was focused on the end of the world, the Millenium Group. It only lasted 3 short seasons. I was a fan.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Before I forget
I just want to make a very special mention of my sweet boy, Andy. Over the last 3 weeks, he has been my rock. My solid anchor of goodness & kindness. He's been nothing short of even tempered, doing everything I asked of him without complaint or fight, been ever so loving when it came to me, constantly asking if I'm okay or if I needed him to do something. While I don't want to knock the rest of my kids, I think Maia wasn't quite able to deal with it all & Kyle is 16, what teen cares? The one I've been challenged by most in his young life has been the most awesome boy in the world. If it is indicative of what he's going to be like as an adult, I can say I am overflowing with pride for him.
I love you sweet boy - you have proven that I really might not have to worry so much about your future. I'm amazed!!
His latest self portrait:
I love you sweet boy - you have proven that I really might not have to worry so much about your future. I'm amazed!!
His latest self portrait:
One life for eight others
The damp air outside was almost a relief. I'd been shivering because of an untoward feeling in my stomach. Not quite queasy, but not right at all. I sat on the deck & watched the glowing yellow-orange bats swooping to catch their food. The mill provided the mesmerizing light for the big insects to flock to. That's what drew the bats.
Two of them swooped in & out of the bright lights in a kind of dance. It was a little bit calming watching them attack the bugs. I'm not sure how big the bugs were but because the lights were in the distance, they had to be gigantic - they sure looked that way from here. Maybe it was a play from the light on the wings. It was nice to think about something else, even if it was still related, predator & prey.
In 22 minutes time the drugs would be pushed through the IV and shortly thereafter, he would be gone forever. Maybe from the earth, but never from my mind. 12:01 am was significant because the man who murdered my best friend was about to die.
I smoked my cigarette trying not to look at my phone. I didn't know if I would get any calls, but I thought I might. I was just trying not to look at the time. 11:51. 10 minutes away. I sat & wondered if he would feel anything. I know lethal injection is supposed to be painless. But what of the emotional feelings? Is it terrorizing knowing that your last breath is about to come? Knowing there is not another minute for you - ever? I hope it's a long suffering thing, those emotions. I hope it hurts the core of him, even though I'm sure it won't.
He was a serial killer & Jenna was his 8th victim. He was brutal. He liked to torture his victims. Listening to all the coroner had to say during the trial was more than any human being should ever have to endure. And we were just listening...
My mind wandered back to the bats. They seemed happy in a bit of frenzy. It's just survival, but it was almost beautiful. I started to feel a little warmer and my chills had subsided. I looked down at the phone, hesitated, then opened the slide. My body tensed. He was going, now. Right this very minute.
This is an idea I had in the past. I found some scribbled notes about where a serial killer might go when he dies. I wanted to explore that a bit so that is what I'll do. & I can do it right here. Lovely having a blog again. My urges to write lately have been incredible. I think it's coming from reading the many wonderful writers here in this blogging community. It's very inspirational.
Two of them swooped in & out of the bright lights in a kind of dance. It was a little bit calming watching them attack the bugs. I'm not sure how big the bugs were but because the lights were in the distance, they had to be gigantic - they sure looked that way from here. Maybe it was a play from the light on the wings. It was nice to think about something else, even if it was still related, predator & prey.
In 22 minutes time the drugs would be pushed through the IV and shortly thereafter, he would be gone forever. Maybe from the earth, but never from my mind. 12:01 am was significant because the man who murdered my best friend was about to die.
I smoked my cigarette trying not to look at my phone. I didn't know if I would get any calls, but I thought I might. I was just trying not to look at the time. 11:51. 10 minutes away. I sat & wondered if he would feel anything. I know lethal injection is supposed to be painless. But what of the emotional feelings? Is it terrorizing knowing that your last breath is about to come? Knowing there is not another minute for you - ever? I hope it's a long suffering thing, those emotions. I hope it hurts the core of him, even though I'm sure it won't.
He was a serial killer & Jenna was his 8th victim. He was brutal. He liked to torture his victims. Listening to all the coroner had to say during the trial was more than any human being should ever have to endure. And we were just listening...
My mind wandered back to the bats. They seemed happy in a bit of frenzy. It's just survival, but it was almost beautiful. I started to feel a little warmer and my chills had subsided. I looked down at the phone, hesitated, then opened the slide. My body tensed. He was going, now. Right this very minute.
This is an idea I had in the past. I found some scribbled notes about where a serial killer might go when he dies. I wanted to explore that a bit so that is what I'll do. & I can do it right here. Lovely having a blog again. My urges to write lately have been incredible. I think it's coming from reading the many wonderful writers here in this blogging community. It's very inspirational.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I'm on my way
Now that the evil gall bladder has been cut clean from my body, I am on my way to a brighter world. Tuesday was a good day. I am happy to have this minimal soreness because I know the worst is finally over. I am not spending a lot of time sitting in front of my computer because it isn't all too comfortable. I will be back to my regular blogging ways very soon and pain free. Oh happy day!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I want my brain to function
Okay, I know it does otherwise my fingers wouldn't be moving to type this up. I just don't feel like it's working right. This lapse in brain power will be over soon, hopefully within the next 2 weeks. My surgery was moved to next Tuesday (cause in my mind a badly diseased organ should not be left to fester in my body for longer than it has to - it's already been too long).
Anyhoo - I have been looking at the photo for this week's Red Writing Hood prompt and I can't even tell what types of weird have been entering & flowing through my thoughts. Makes me wonder if I'm a freak in normal clothing.
We tried a gaming free day yesterday. It lasted well into the evening. Then I went to get some clothes, forgot my all important coupon and got sidetracked to GameStop. I have a new game & so do the youngsters. I have no will power! (Okay, technically, I didn't start playing til well after midnight, but the kids got to play before they went to bed.) I'm a gamer - in case I haven't mentioned that. Maybe not a real gamer, but if I get a new game I enjoy, I can become obsessed with it. If I find the notion to, I will let you know how I feel about LA Noire. I've wanted this game since its release back in May. I just can't always go pick up things I want when I want them, you know the whole food, bills & family thing.
I didn't get to post a SYTYCD recap last week, so look for one this week. The All Stars were on this week & I am so glad to see them! The dancers this year are stellar, but the levels of greatness is always lifted when the All Stars are in the mix.
The Scyfy channel was left on last night (meaning no one changed it over night, not that the tv was left on - I'd kick some ass for that). And I start to hear this familiar theme music. I turn my head & couldn't help but smile. I did not know they still had syndicated episodes of The Greatest American Hero on the air! I didn't love the show, but it was fun.
This would be a great post for Friday Fragments. I'm thinking I will link it up tomorrow, with maybe a bit more.
Anyhoo - I have been looking at the photo for this week's Red Writing Hood prompt and I can't even tell what types of weird have been entering & flowing through my thoughts. Makes me wonder if I'm a freak in normal clothing.
We tried a gaming free day yesterday. It lasted well into the evening. Then I went to get some clothes, forgot my all important coupon and got sidetracked to GameStop. I have a new game & so do the youngsters. I have no will power! (Okay, technically, I didn't start playing til well after midnight, but the kids got to play before they went to bed.) I'm a gamer - in case I haven't mentioned that. Maybe not a real gamer, but if I get a new game I enjoy, I can become obsessed with it. If I find the notion to, I will let you know how I feel about LA Noire. I've wanted this game since its release back in May. I just can't always go pick up things I want when I want them, you know the whole food, bills & family thing.
I didn't get to post a SYTYCD recap last week, so look for one this week. The All Stars were on this week & I am so glad to see them! The dancers this year are stellar, but the levels of greatness is always lifted when the All Stars are in the mix.
The Scyfy channel was left on last night (meaning no one changed it over night, not that the tv was left on - I'd kick some ass for that). And I start to hear this familiar theme music. I turn my head & couldn't help but smile. I did not know they still had syndicated episodes of The Greatest American Hero on the air! I didn't love the show, but it was fun.
This would be a great post for Friday Fragments. I'm thinking I will link it up tomorrow, with maybe a bit more.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday Listicles (on Tuesday) - 10 things I say too often to my children
Brought to you by - The Good Life. My entry, better late than never. These are things I say way too often along with some things I never wanted to say as a parent, but understand why I say it, now.
1. No running in the house! Do you want to break your neck?
2. No jumping on the bed/couch/chair/furniture! This is not a gymnasium. Do you want to break your neck?
3. Because I said so!
4. What do you think you're doing?
5. Who do you think you are?
6. Please rinse your dishes, I make the food, I serve the food, the least you could do is rinse your plate.
7. Please don't stuff wrappers (any garbage) between the couch cushions! Or, please don't leave your garbage laying around for me to clean up.
8. If you take something out, please put it back the way you found it.
9. Quit bickering/arguing/fighting/yelling/crying/being annoying! Or just plain CUT IT OUT/KNOCK IT OFF!
10. Whaaaaat?!
1. No running in the house! Do you want to break your neck?
2. No jumping on the bed/couch/chair/furniture! This is not a gymnasium. Do you want to break your neck?
3. Because I said so!
4. What do you think you're doing?
5. Who do you think you are?
6. Please rinse your dishes, I make the food, I serve the food, the least you could do is rinse your plate.
7. Please don't stuff wrappers (any garbage) between the couch cushions! Or, please don't leave your garbage laying around for me to clean up.
8. If you take something out, please put it back the way you found it.
9. Quit bickering/arguing/fighting/yelling/crying/being annoying! Or just plain CUT IT OUT/KNOCK IT OFF!
10. Whaaaaat?!
RemembeRED - Beating a dead horse
This week's prompt asked us to write about a time that rhythm, or a lack thereof, played a role in your life. And don’t use the word “rhythm.”
I've been blogging about my issues lately, hence beating the dead horse. If you've dropped by my blog, you've read about it all. I apologize for it now.
I don't think I've ever felt so out of it.
I feel like there's so much to be done & there's nothing I can do about it.
And I know I can do something, it's the absolute lack of motivation to do it that is in my way.
I should be courageous & fight through it all.
That's not me, I give in to my weaknesses. Especially the ones that involve pain.
This...pain...it's all consuming.
If you've had issues with your gall bladder, you know it.
In the morning, it sears through my middle asking for immediate attention.
Often times it doesn't wait for morning to scream at me.
Usually, if I had an attack, it was short lived.
It came & went by way of a single pain killer.
I'd go to bed at night & not have to think about it for a long time.
I started to learn what triggered an attack. Most often avoiding these foods (everything I love). Once in a while, I would eat without consulting my awareness.
Then I would pay.
Since last week (today is day 10),
it doesn't matter what I eat,
it doesn't matter if I don't eat,
it doesn't matter what I do, I hurt.
While taking the pain killers does eliminate the pain for a bit, it also lands in my head like a dead weight, crushing my brain.
I can't function with the pain, I can't function with the pain killers.
I sleep when I can
& do what I can - if & when I feel okay.
I feel like I'm a juggled ball, hanging above the world waiting to drop. Once in the hand, I feel suffocated. It's no win.
Add into the mix the children & their needs. I do everything I can & attend to them. They seem to be no worse for what I'm going through, with the exception of extra crabbiness. I ask for a little bit extra from them & sometimes I get it.
It's a phase in my life & it will be over soon. The pain is lessened when I don't eat, sometimes. I'm scheduled for surgery on the 2nd of August. If I stick to a mostly liquid diet, including hot soup in 100 degree heat indexes (yeah, I'm all over that), I should live with little or no pain. Hopefully, we can get that date moved up a week because I want my life back. Sooner is better than later. The bright side - a liquid diet will bring down my weight. Yay for a sliver of positive!
The pain killers totally dampen my mind. I hate feeling like I don't think right & I hate knowing that I'm writing wrong.
I wrote about a lack of rhythm in my life. It just so happens that this is an issue lately, no rhythm, no sense of control. I don't know why I feel I need a disclaimer, but please don't apologize. It's not your fault & everyone goes through their rough patches. I just happen to be living one of mine through my blog. For me, just getting it out is helpful. I don't know that I've ever felt this out of sync with me.
I've been blogging about my issues lately, hence beating the dead horse. If you've dropped by my blog, you've read about it all. I apologize for it now.
I don't think I've ever felt so out of it.
I feel like there's so much to be done & there's nothing I can do about it.
And I know I can do something, it's the absolute lack of motivation to do it that is in my way.
I should be courageous & fight through it all.
That's not me, I give in to my weaknesses. Especially the ones that involve pain.
This...pain...it's all consuming.
If you've had issues with your gall bladder, you know it.
In the morning, it sears through my middle asking for immediate attention.
Often times it doesn't wait for morning to scream at me.
Usually, if I had an attack, it was short lived.
It came & went by way of a single pain killer.
I'd go to bed at night & not have to think about it for a long time.
I started to learn what triggered an attack. Most often avoiding these foods (everything I love). Once in a while, I would eat without consulting my awareness.
Then I would pay.
Since last week (today is day 10),
it doesn't matter what I eat,
it doesn't matter if I don't eat,
it doesn't matter what I do, I hurt.
While taking the pain killers does eliminate the pain for a bit, it also lands in my head like a dead weight, crushing my brain.
I can't function with the pain, I can't function with the pain killers.
I sleep when I can
& do what I can - if & when I feel okay.
I feel like I'm a juggled ball, hanging above the world waiting to drop. Once in the hand, I feel suffocated. It's no win.
Add into the mix the children & their needs. I do everything I can & attend to them. They seem to be no worse for what I'm going through, with the exception of extra crabbiness. I ask for a little bit extra from them & sometimes I get it.
It's a phase in my life & it will be over soon. The pain is lessened when I don't eat, sometimes. I'm scheduled for surgery on the 2nd of August. If I stick to a mostly liquid diet, including hot soup in 100 degree heat indexes (yeah, I'm all over that), I should live with little or no pain. Hopefully, we can get that date moved up a week because I want my life back. Sooner is better than later. The bright side - a liquid diet will bring down my weight. Yay for a sliver of positive!
The pain killers totally dampen my mind. I hate feeling like I don't think right & I hate knowing that I'm writing wrong.
I wrote about a lack of rhythm in my life. It just so happens that this is an issue lately, no rhythm, no sense of control. I don't know why I feel I need a disclaimer, but please don't apologize. It's not your fault & everyone goes through their rough patches. I just happen to be living one of mine through my blog. For me, just getting it out is helpful. I don't know that I've ever felt this out of sync with me.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Aren't teenagers wonderful? This is my life. A hard, honest post.
Last week, I had an eventful week with our 16 year old. I want to say it was a good event, but it was not. We had, oh, let's call it a falling out. I could have let a lot go, but the mood of me this week just wasn't going to let anything go. He claims I kicked him out. I know he said he didn't want to live here any more because he hates it here, so I said he could go anytime. I won't deny that I was horrible when we fought. At one point, I did spit in his face (awful, I know - better than punching him, which is what I really wanted to do, and I wasn't in the mood to get into a fist fight with my 16 year old son) but he opted to say the things people say with only the intention to hurt. He spit back in my face. What does one do when a child will not back down? When discipline is failing & lack of respect is prevalent? I keep thinking - did I create this mess all on my own? I know I didn't by myself, but we can't go there because I would be remiss to tell only my side.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Update
The testing has been done. I'm not sure what is going to happen next, I just know that the dye didn't expose my gall bladder issues. In fact, it didn't expose my gall bladder at all. It makes me wonder if the organ has died. RIP, but it's time to go.
I was told that the scan told the techs that my gall bladder was non-functioning. I'm not sure what that means, & it seems they weren't all that sure either. Or they didn't want to tell me & scare me. I'm not consciously worried about it, but in the back of my mind I'm wondering why a dead or non-functioning organ isn't an emergency? It's the passive in me that may very well kill me one day. I did try asking, so I should get credit for that.
I guess I will find out on Monday after my doc gets the results. In the meantime, I am surviving on pain killers. Thankfully, they are working.
I was told that the scan told the techs that my gall bladder was non-functioning. I'm not sure what that means, & it seems they weren't all that sure either. Or they didn't want to tell me & scare me. I'm not consciously worried about it, but in the back of my mind I'm wondering why a dead or non-functioning organ isn't an emergency? It's the passive in me that may very well kill me one day. I did try asking, so I should get credit for that.
I guess I will find out on Monday after my doc gets the results. In the meantime, I am surviving on pain killers. Thankfully, they are working.
Testing, testing, 123
I haven't been hopping around as much as I usually do & there is a good reason for that. Pain. I posted not long ago about my gall bladder. The thing that's failing, or seeming to fail, more & more each day. Dr. visit has brought me to testing stage - because the pain is not going away like it used to. I have to go for some kind of scan (the dye injection, then contraction & study of the little useless organ) and then I will be scheduled for surgery.
I only tell because I have not been reading blogs & I'm missing it! I was so looking forward to the fiction fest today, with shoes & I won't be able to until much later today, the gall, I tell you! I just can't sit. The most comfortable position is standing. Don't really want to do much of that, either, who stands all day without getting paid to do it?
For now, I bid adieu. I will be reading you all later. I can't wait!!
I only tell because I have not been reading blogs & I'm missing it! I was so looking forward to the fiction fest today, with shoes & I won't be able to until much later today, the gall, I tell you! I just can't sit. The most comfortable position is standing. Don't really want to do much of that, either, who stands all day without getting paid to do it?
For now, I bid adieu. I will be reading you all later. I can't wait!!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Writer's Workshop - Not so much writing today...
On a piece of paper write down something that makes you happy...take a photo of your paper and wa la...there's your post.
Hope on over to visit MamaKat & see what many other people are writing about!
I opted for easy this week. But it is a very worthy easy! I posted earlier this week about how my 7 year old daughter is enjoying writing. Okay, it's kinda last week, but still. It made me feel all fuzzy inside & I plan on doing more writing with her this coming weekend.
Hope on over to visit MamaKat & see what many other people are writing about!
I opted for easy this week. But it is a very worthy easy! I posted earlier this week about how my 7 year old daughter is enjoying writing. Okay, it's kinda last week, but still. It made me feel all fuzzy inside & I plan on doing more writing with her this coming weekend.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Rockin' the baby! My chitlins...
I didn't have any "baby bump" pics to share because I don't think I ever allowed anyone to take photos of me while I was preggers. Except at my shower, but I only have one of those & the bump is not visible due to the gift in front of me.
I'm so glad Shell over at Things I Can't Say decided to do a Rockin' the Baby share!! I have to thank her, too. I spent better than an hour going through some of my photos & got so many giggles seeing them all when they were beebies.
It was very difficult picking just one photo of each of them. But I managed & I picked a few of my faves. I'm the last one. That was eons ago.
My charmer! He was a very happy baby, too. (all of my kids were, I was so very fortunate!) I think he was around 5 months old in this one. Steven is now 24, almost 25. Yeewe...that's almost a quarter century.
I'm so glad Shell over at Things I Can't Say decided to do a Rockin' the Baby share!! I have to thank her, too. I spent better than an hour going through some of my photos & got so many giggles seeing them all when they were beebies.
It was very difficult picking just one photo of each of them. But I managed & I picked a few of my faves. I'm the last one. That was eons ago.
My only daughter. She had to have been just over a year (and still barely any hair!). She's now 7 and those 7 years feel like a millisecond!
My Andewd. He was my happiest baby, and around 5 months in this photo! This was the way I remember him being...always! I don't remember crying, fussing or being, well, a baby. I just remember him being the sunshine in each & every day. He's now 10 and my biggest challenge.
Don't mind the wet mark on the photo, that's what happens to those oldies sometimes. I didn't always keep them in the safest of places. Kyle was about a year & a half in this one. He's now 16, almost 17.
My charmer! He was a very happy baby, too. (all of my kids were, I was so very fortunate!) I think he was around 5 months old in this one. Steven is now 24, almost 25. Yeewe...that's almost a quarter century.
Me, me, me! I won't say how long ago this was. I'm thinking I had to be around 4 or 5 months old. I didn't have much hair when I was a baby, either. Mom told me I didn't have barely any until I was around 2 or so.
So that's that! I don't have a single pic of my husband from when he was young. Not one. Otherwise I would have shared something of him. Thanks to all of you who drop by! I will be dropping in on as many of you as I can fit in tomorrow & over the next few days!
RemebeRED - Sophomore Geometry
Your assignment this week was to write a post about an embarrassing moment.
Many of you asked, "We can only pick one?" Because it is, unfortunately, part of life.
So let's see what you came up with for your post.
Link up - but ONLY if you've done the prompt.
Many of you asked, "We can only pick one?" Because it is, unfortunately, part of life.
So let's see what you came up with for your post.
Link up - but ONLY if you've done the prompt.
I guess this may not be funny to everyone because not everyone will remember 10th grade Geometry. Theorems ALWAYS have a given, I think, cause I really didn't learn about them. We are supposed to be able to deduce the conclusion (or whatever) from what the theorem gives us.
I was never an outstanding student. I could have been. How do I know this? Because so many people throughout my youth stated, time & again, that I "was so smart, just lazy" or "She just doesn't live up to her potential" or, my personal favorite, "if she would just apply herself". I was that kid, and there were a lot of us, I think.
Now that you know I was a stellar, fully devoted student I can tell you my story.
There was this mean teacher in High School. I want to say her name was Mrs. Hilton. I may not be right about that name. She was brutal - with her lessons, with her tests and her pop quizzes were popped at us often, like a bare fist in the face.
It had to have been somewhere towards the end of the second semester. She'd been teaching theorems (what? I still don't know what those are, nor did I ever need to) for at least a week & a half. We were all supposed to have understood what they were & how to work them by the time of the *ahem* incident. She was good at calling on those kids who really wanted to answer. She paid little attention to those of us who were disinterested. Except on this day. Yeah...she called on me.
"Alexis," I'm surprised she even knew my name. "What do you know about this problem?"
At first I didn't even think I heard her right. I sat upright, cause I was all slouched & low - head down, bored to death, legs stretched & hands folded across my lap in the back row. I may have even been almost asleep.
"Huh?" I don't think it was a clear "huh", probably more like a grunt. I scooted my chair back up to my desk.
"Um..." I acted like I was reading the problem and I even strained my face to make it look like I was thinking. Because for some reason, everyone in the class was staring back at me, and they never did that before!!
"Well..." she said, an inner finger was drumming on her brain waiting for me to answer. She pointed at the problem on the board & asked again. "What do you know of this problem?
After another long pause...
"The given?"
The class erupted with laughter. It startled me! After my mini jump, I felt my face flush & realized I must have said something insanely funny, so I chuckled a little, too. To give the air of "MAN AM I FUNNY!", but I was so embarrassed, I felt like a complete dumbass and Mrs. Hilton (or whatever her name was) was pissed. She obviously thought I was being funny intentionally, too. I sure fooled them! HA!
I know I have more stories to tell about my numerous embarrassments, but that one stands out the most. I was laughed at and felt so stupid. That's what I get for not "applying" myself.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Monday Listicles - New meme, Types of young women for young men to avoid
If you love to make lists, then swing on over to northwestmommy.com, AKA The Good Life & link up with her on Mondays.
I am typically not a list maker, as I tend to stray away from the "to do" type things, just like when I was a kid & someone told me what to do - I just didn't want to do it! Even if it's me telling me. I'm not organized enough to want to keep lists of things that are important. I think it's time for change.
I am typically not a list maker, as I tend to stray away from the "to do" type things, just like when I was a kid & someone told me what to do - I just didn't want to do it! Even if it's me telling me. I'm not organized enough to want to keep lists of things that are important. I think it's time for change.
I'm taking my cue from Stay at Home Babe because I think my boys need a list like the one she wrote for her daughters. She made a list of the top 11 guys never to date. I think another disclaimer to be added is "never to marry". These are in no particular order, they are all avoidable.
My list contains 15 types to be avoided and, if pressed, I could probably think of more.
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