Sunday, July 31, 2011

One life for eight others

The damp air outside was almost a relief.  I'd been shivering because of an untoward feeling in my stomach.  Not quite queasy, but not right at all.  I sat on the deck & watched the glowing yellow-orange bats swooping to catch their food.  The mill provided the mesmerizing light for the big insects to flock to.  That's what drew the bats.

Two of them swooped in & out of the bright lights in a kind of dance.  It was a little bit calming watching them attack the bugs.  I'm not sure how big the bugs were but because the lights were in the distance, they had to be gigantic - they sure looked that way from here.  Maybe it was a play from the light on the wings.  It was nice to think about something else, even if it was still related, predator & prey.

In 22 minutes time the drugs would be pushed through the IV and shortly thereafter, he would be gone forever.  Maybe from the earth, but never from my mind.  12:01 am was significant because the man who murdered my best friend was about to die.

I smoked my cigarette trying not to look at my phone.  I didn't know if I would get any calls, but I thought I might.  I was just trying not to look at the time.  11:51.  10 minutes away.  I sat & wondered if he would feel anything.  I know lethal injection is supposed to be painless.  But what of the emotional feelings?  Is it terrorizing knowing that your last breath is about to come?  Knowing there is not another minute for you - ever?  I hope it's a long suffering thing, those emotions.  I hope it hurts the core of him, even though I'm sure it won't.

He was a serial killer & Jenna was his 8th victim.  He was brutal.  He liked to torture his victims.  Listening to all the coroner had to say during the trial was more than any human being should ever have to endure.  And we were just listening...

My mind wandered back to the bats.  They seemed happy in a bit of frenzy.  It's just survival, but it was almost beautiful.  I started to feel a little warmer and my chills had subsided.  I looked down at the phone, hesitated, then opened the slide.  My body tensed.  He was going, now.  Right this very minute.

This is an idea I had in the past.  I found some scribbled notes about where a serial killer might go when he dies.  I wanted to explore that a bit so that is what I'll do.  & I can do it right here.  Lovely having a blog again.  My urges to write lately have been incredible.  I think it's coming from reading the many wonderful writers here in this blogging community.  It's very inspirational. 

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