Dear So & So

Dear lady at the Tupperware party,

Hi! How are ya? Good I hope? Enjoying your new Tupperware, are you? You know those cute RED measuring cups & spoons. Yeah, the RED ones. You came over to me and paid me cash for the set? Yeah, those. The ones from my cash & carry, the RED ones you waved in my face, as I was seated & you were standing, right at my eye level.


I didn't notice for a couple of days, really! My son needed my measuring cups. No, not to cook this time, just to make kool-aid. I couldn't find my GREEN ones anywhere. I went through all my stuff & they were gone. Yes, the ones I used in the demo. The ones I held up and you gave a little happy yelp because they were GREEN. I explained that I used them at my demos & at home, because they were MINE. The new color, to match my GREEN measuring spoons.

The only place I didn't look was my cash & carry bag. I fetched it from my van, lo and behold, there were 2 sets of RED cups in there! WOW! How do you think that happened? I really hope you are enjoying your mismatched set. Don't worry, I can get new ones you slithery little snake.

Who does stuff like this? At least you paid for them and didn't take both sets. Be grateful for the little things, I say.

Always at your service,
Lex

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Dear Kyle,

I know when we took your computer out of your room for a really long time, you deserved it. The lack of respect for us came to a head & the grades were so bad! You definitely earned it back. You improved in all areas and we were happy to give it back (well, I was because you were spending too much time on my computer).

I'm not sure who lost your wireless USB. It may very well have been me. It may have been your dad. You think it was me because I would hide it from you at night (before your computer got taken away) and you would venture into my room to find it. I had to shift hiding spaces regularly. That's not my fault. It also isn't my fault that we took your computer in the first place, meaning - the plug never would have gotten lost if you had kept your privilege in tact, yes? How do I know you weren't the last one to touch it & you misplaced it somewhere in that landfill you call a bedroom. I had no reason to keep it from you once we had your computer & I honestly don't remember who had it last.

You are not entitled to my wireless USB. I don't have to get off when you want to play your game on the net. Yet, I do. Often. Because you hover. & sigh loudly. & bug the shit out of me. If you're not bugging the shit out of me, it's your brother & sister. In turn, I get the short end. Never fails. Why don't you go out with your friends? Go to the movies or just hang with them at their houses? Invite them here, but not to sit around & watch you play video games. Then I won't be a slave to LOTR Online, the game you play.

Your ever lovin',
Mom

PS - why is it when you have your privileges back, you revert to the behaviors that make you lose them?

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Dear Dewd & Princess,

If I tell you no game systems for the rest of the day, that's what I mean. I have proven that time & again. Since you know there's no chance, why do you insist on asking for the Wii? I If say no to the Wii, why do you ask for the Game Cube? If I say no to both of those, why do you ask for the PS2? If I say no to all 3, then you ask for the PS3, why? All of them means all of them. Period. No computer, either. Do you think you can trick me?

If I tell you I'll give you an hour of play time after dinner IF YOU DON'T FIGHT, it means you can't fight & still get play time.

Enjoy your summer - outside.

Your ever lovin',
Mom

PS - I know you both say you want to live with me forever because I'm your favorite mom (your only mom, you don't have another to compare me to), but I can tell you that won't happen. Trust me, you'll want out eventually.

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Did you ever have something you wanted to say to someone, but either the moment passed or you didn't have the cajones to do so at the time? I was bouncing around blogs & I found this great meme. It's the simplest meme & you can use it any time you need to. You can link up on Fridays, it's just therapy. Hop over to 3 Bedroom Bungalow & grab the button. Use it when you need it. Linkup on Fridays, to whatever day you may have needed to write that note (or notes).