This piece is directly related to my recent post One Life for Eight Others. Some thoughts about what might happen to a serial killer upon and after death. I have a lot more in my head & I will see how it all plays out.
The last day on earth. God didn't find me in here, if there is one. So many of these assholes are fased by the Word and it sickens me. What the fuck kind of God creates a man like me? One who thrives on seeing death at the moment of it? One who fantasizes about making them suffer? One who loves killing?
All the other murderous souls have sought forgiveness. They find it, but not within themselves. Because like I know, they know too, it doesn't matter because we are all going to die. Why would I want to forgive something I love? Maybe I'm the only one, but I don't think so. I just think I'm the only one who's honest about it. They are all wanting the fantasy of a heaven. In my right mind, I can't fathom that anyone who's done the things I've done could find a place where all is good. The only good I know is what I've done & I don't think heaven is a killing place.
"Roberts," called the guard. "It's time for your menu."
"Yeah, I got it." I slid the paper across the opening in the door. They actually gave me a pen earlier. I wrote a little more than my menu.
I knew I only had so many hours left. I walked back over to the bench & laid down. I closed my eyes. There she was. I could see her so vividly and she was the end of me. I was used to the aversion of the gaze. I was used to the fear and the disgust and the pleading in their eyes, if I could catch a glimpse. But, oh ho, she was different. I think that's why she lived.
Her eyes lied to me. They looked straight into mine & lied. I saw a tinge of fear, the baby blues looked almost serene, and that told me she saw love. The calmness made me untie her hands. She wrapped them around me. I could feel her nails braise my skin lightly and I was looking, locked into her stare. I didn't know I'd let her go & in the moment, I was the one confused. I wanted what she was givin' so badly. She was so smart. She did deserve to live but if I saw her today, I'd rip her head clean from her body.
I got up & walked to look through the wire in the small window. It was 4:36, only a few more hours before it would all be over.
Gallant was watching the inmate with intensity. He wondered what the guy was going through. Gallant didn't feel sorry for him, not even a little. After having several conversations, because there wasn't much else to do on death row, he realized this guy was a true monster. Without a heart, without a soul - Jess Roberts was on his way to the only place he belonged, hell.
Gallant saw Jess look at the time. It was so hard for him not to think of what the inmate might be thinking. Was Jess afraid to die? He sure didn't seem like it. This was only the second lethal Gallant would be guarding. The other experience was vastly different, the inmate at the time, Freddie Claussen, was utterly shaken & remorseful for his acts. Gallant knows from his experience that most of them are only sorry for getting caught, sorry for themselves. Claussen seemed to be truly sorry for what he did and while he was a total basket case walking the mile, he was accepting of what was coming to him.
Roberts didn't look like a monster. He didn't have evil, beady black eyes like many of them did. He didn't have a spiked tail growing out of his ass or horns growing from his head, but Gallant thought he should have both. He was of medium build, a little on the tall side, not unassuming because he had boyish good looks. Roberts had a face with soft features & wide light brown eyes. Gallant knew that women fell for men like this and it was telling because of the amount of letters Jess Roberts had gotten in Gallant's short 4 year tenure on Death Row, all from women, all with photos and dribble of love.
Gallant was holding on to one last letter. It might be one of those things that enrages an inmate who is about to die. Gallant wanted everyone to be prepared for it. The woman who sent the letter asked that Gallant wait til the latest possible moment to give it to Roberts.
ConCrit is encouraged. I'd like to know what you see when you read, what does it make you feel like?
Friday, August 5, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Monday Listicles - My Favorite Sci-fi
Head on over to The Good Life to add your own fun list.
This week, I'm going with some of my all time favorite Science Fiction shows, most of them are recent. I didn't have a hankerin' for anything Sci-fi until 11 grade. I decided to take, of all types of classes, a Science Fiction class. I figured it would be cake & I needed a good elective. I didn't expect that I would excel in & enjoy that class. The first book I read for an assignment was The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. While I don't remember it like I should, I do remember being enthralled by the stories within it. I aced several reports & it put my GPA in good standing for that first quarter of school. I dropped out shortly thereafter, but went to another school instead.
Most of these are relatively new shows. I know there are plenty of old shows that deserve some cred here, but I'm just wanting to tell you about my recent faves.
In no particular favorite order:
1. The X Files - no need to explain this one. Fox Mulder was enough reason to watch. I miss the abduction tales, the weird happenings & the Smoking Man.
2. The Outer Limits the one revised by Showtime in the early 90s. The original is good, too, just not one of my faves.
3. Haven - a newer show, only in it's second season, but so cool! It's based on Stephen King's short The Colorado Kid. The people in Haven suffer from "troubles". One particular woman was a taxidermist. She was angry for some reason or another (can't remember why) and all of her "clients" were coming back to life & killing people. The sheriff (now, cause his dad died & was the sheriff before) has no sense of touch, can't feel anything. He's one of the troubled. Emily Rose (from John from Cincinnati - another oddball show that only lasted one season - but I liked it) is FBI agent (or something) Audrey Parker who shares the memories of the real FBI agent Audrey Parker whom we met for the first time at the end of last season.
4. Warehouse 13 - another new show - maybe 2nd or 3rd season, it is a warehouse that safely houses artifacts from history that have special attributions, or dangerous powers. It's so much fun!! The agents work for a curious woman called Mrs. Frederic. She controls the warehouse & oversees the agents. Lots of humor in the show.
5. Stargate SG-1 - the series on Showtime before it was bought by Scy-fy. The episodes with Richard Dean Anderson were the best episodes. Once the original cast was broken up, I didn't watch. Most of the original cast came back, but it was hard for me to get back into it without the boss.
6. Alphas - another new show on Scyfy. It just premiered a few weeks ago & I love it! It's about "special" people. I never watched Heroes, couldn't wrap my head around it - but this show may be along the same lines. The Alphas are special in some way or another. One of the main characters has heightened senses, she can smell, feel & see things that are long gone. Another main character has super human strength, yet another has the ability to "push" people, manipulate minds.
7. Torchwood - Miracle Day - brand spankin new to Starz. I fell in love with this show right away, too. One day, they call it Miracle Day, people just stop dying. People who should be dead can't die, no one can die. Basically all of humanity has become immortal. In the last episode a woman who was speaking out against the "dead" was crushed in a car crusher. The very end of the episode saw her eye peeking from behind bent metal. Torchwood is a group of people who are trying to figure out what or who is behind Miracle Day & how to get people to die again.
8. Sliders - OMG! Jerry O'Connell after so many years (totally only remembered him from Stand By Me). I used to love this show & was sad to see it end too soon. I love time travel stuff, but not Dr. Who.
9. Fringe - amazing newer show, in the same vein as the X-Files with mysterious creatures & alien interference. It's also multi-dimensional. There have been some outstanding episodes that are ripe with creativity & neat-o tv programming, like stuff you only expect to see in movies.
10. Millenium - not entirely sure if this would qualify, but the lead character was an FBI profiler had the ability to get into the minds of serial killers & liaisoned with a mysterious group that was focused on the end of the world, the Millenium Group. It only lasted 3 short seasons. I was a fan.
This week, I'm going with some of my all time favorite Science Fiction shows, most of them are recent. I didn't have a hankerin' for anything Sci-fi until 11 grade. I decided to take, of all types of classes, a Science Fiction class. I figured it would be cake & I needed a good elective. I didn't expect that I would excel in & enjoy that class. The first book I read for an assignment was The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. While I don't remember it like I should, I do remember being enthralled by the stories within it. I aced several reports & it put my GPA in good standing for that first quarter of school. I dropped out shortly thereafter, but went to another school instead.
Most of these are relatively new shows. I know there are plenty of old shows that deserve some cred here, but I'm just wanting to tell you about my recent faves.
In no particular favorite order:
1. The X Files - no need to explain this one. Fox Mulder was enough reason to watch. I miss the abduction tales, the weird happenings & the Smoking Man.
2. The Outer Limits the one revised by Showtime in the early 90s. The original is good, too, just not one of my faves.
3. Haven - a newer show, only in it's second season, but so cool! It's based on Stephen King's short The Colorado Kid. The people in Haven suffer from "troubles". One particular woman was a taxidermist. She was angry for some reason or another (can't remember why) and all of her "clients" were coming back to life & killing people. The sheriff (now, cause his dad died & was the sheriff before) has no sense of touch, can't feel anything. He's one of the troubled. Emily Rose (from John from Cincinnati - another oddball show that only lasted one season - but I liked it) is FBI agent (or something) Audrey Parker who shares the memories of the real FBI agent Audrey Parker whom we met for the first time at the end of last season.
4. Warehouse 13 - another new show - maybe 2nd or 3rd season, it is a warehouse that safely houses artifacts from history that have special attributions, or dangerous powers. It's so much fun!! The agents work for a curious woman called Mrs. Frederic. She controls the warehouse & oversees the agents. Lots of humor in the show.
5. Stargate SG-1 - the series on Showtime before it was bought by Scy-fy. The episodes with Richard Dean Anderson were the best episodes. Once the original cast was broken up, I didn't watch. Most of the original cast came back, but it was hard for me to get back into it without the boss.
6. Alphas - another new show on Scyfy. It just premiered a few weeks ago & I love it! It's about "special" people. I never watched Heroes, couldn't wrap my head around it - but this show may be along the same lines. The Alphas are special in some way or another. One of the main characters has heightened senses, she can smell, feel & see things that are long gone. Another main character has super human strength, yet another has the ability to "push" people, manipulate minds.
7. Torchwood - Miracle Day - brand spankin new to Starz. I fell in love with this show right away, too. One day, they call it Miracle Day, people just stop dying. People who should be dead can't die, no one can die. Basically all of humanity has become immortal. In the last episode a woman who was speaking out against the "dead" was crushed in a car crusher. The very end of the episode saw her eye peeking from behind bent metal. Torchwood is a group of people who are trying to figure out what or who is behind Miracle Day & how to get people to die again.
8. Sliders - OMG! Jerry O'Connell after so many years (totally only remembered him from Stand By Me). I used to love this show & was sad to see it end too soon. I love time travel stuff, but not Dr. Who.
9. Fringe - amazing newer show, in the same vein as the X-Files with mysterious creatures & alien interference. It's also multi-dimensional. There have been some outstanding episodes that are ripe with creativity & neat-o tv programming, like stuff you only expect to see in movies.
10. Millenium - not entirely sure if this would qualify, but the lead character was an FBI profiler had the ability to get into the minds of serial killers & liaisoned with a mysterious group that was focused on the end of the world, the Millenium Group. It only lasted 3 short seasons. I was a fan.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Before I forget
I just want to make a very special mention of my sweet boy, Andy. Over the last 3 weeks, he has been my rock. My solid anchor of goodness & kindness. He's been nothing short of even tempered, doing everything I asked of him without complaint or fight, been ever so loving when it came to me, constantly asking if I'm okay or if I needed him to do something. While I don't want to knock the rest of my kids, I think Maia wasn't quite able to deal with it all & Kyle is 16, what teen cares? The one I've been challenged by most in his young life has been the most awesome boy in the world. If it is indicative of what he's going to be like as an adult, I can say I am overflowing with pride for him.
I love you sweet boy - you have proven that I really might not have to worry so much about your future. I'm amazed!!
His latest self portrait:
I love you sweet boy - you have proven that I really might not have to worry so much about your future. I'm amazed!!
His latest self portrait:
One life for eight others
The damp air outside was almost a relief. I'd been shivering because of an untoward feeling in my stomach. Not quite queasy, but not right at all. I sat on the deck & watched the glowing yellow-orange bats swooping to catch their food. The mill provided the mesmerizing light for the big insects to flock to. That's what drew the bats.
Two of them swooped in & out of the bright lights in a kind of dance. It was a little bit calming watching them attack the bugs. I'm not sure how big the bugs were but because the lights were in the distance, they had to be gigantic - they sure looked that way from here. Maybe it was a play from the light on the wings. It was nice to think about something else, even if it was still related, predator & prey.
In 22 minutes time the drugs would be pushed through the IV and shortly thereafter, he would be gone forever. Maybe from the earth, but never from my mind. 12:01 am was significant because the man who murdered my best friend was about to die.
I smoked my cigarette trying not to look at my phone. I didn't know if I would get any calls, but I thought I might. I was just trying not to look at the time. 11:51. 10 minutes away. I sat & wondered if he would feel anything. I know lethal injection is supposed to be painless. But what of the emotional feelings? Is it terrorizing knowing that your last breath is about to come? Knowing there is not another minute for you - ever? I hope it's a long suffering thing, those emotions. I hope it hurts the core of him, even though I'm sure it won't.
He was a serial killer & Jenna was his 8th victim. He was brutal. He liked to torture his victims. Listening to all the coroner had to say during the trial was more than any human being should ever have to endure. And we were just listening...
My mind wandered back to the bats. They seemed happy in a bit of frenzy. It's just survival, but it was almost beautiful. I started to feel a little warmer and my chills had subsided. I looked down at the phone, hesitated, then opened the slide. My body tensed. He was going, now. Right this very minute.
This is an idea I had in the past. I found some scribbled notes about where a serial killer might go when he dies. I wanted to explore that a bit so that is what I'll do. & I can do it right here. Lovely having a blog again. My urges to write lately have been incredible. I think it's coming from reading the many wonderful writers here in this blogging community. It's very inspirational.
Two of them swooped in & out of the bright lights in a kind of dance. It was a little bit calming watching them attack the bugs. I'm not sure how big the bugs were but because the lights were in the distance, they had to be gigantic - they sure looked that way from here. Maybe it was a play from the light on the wings. It was nice to think about something else, even if it was still related, predator & prey.
In 22 minutes time the drugs would be pushed through the IV and shortly thereafter, he would be gone forever. Maybe from the earth, but never from my mind. 12:01 am was significant because the man who murdered my best friend was about to die.
I smoked my cigarette trying not to look at my phone. I didn't know if I would get any calls, but I thought I might. I was just trying not to look at the time. 11:51. 10 minutes away. I sat & wondered if he would feel anything. I know lethal injection is supposed to be painless. But what of the emotional feelings? Is it terrorizing knowing that your last breath is about to come? Knowing there is not another minute for you - ever? I hope it's a long suffering thing, those emotions. I hope it hurts the core of him, even though I'm sure it won't.
He was a serial killer & Jenna was his 8th victim. He was brutal. He liked to torture his victims. Listening to all the coroner had to say during the trial was more than any human being should ever have to endure. And we were just listening...
My mind wandered back to the bats. They seemed happy in a bit of frenzy. It's just survival, but it was almost beautiful. I started to feel a little warmer and my chills had subsided. I looked down at the phone, hesitated, then opened the slide. My body tensed. He was going, now. Right this very minute.
This is an idea I had in the past. I found some scribbled notes about where a serial killer might go when he dies. I wanted to explore that a bit so that is what I'll do. & I can do it right here. Lovely having a blog again. My urges to write lately have been incredible. I think it's coming from reading the many wonderful writers here in this blogging community. It's very inspirational.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I'm on my way
Now that the evil gall bladder has been cut clean from my body, I am on my way to a brighter world. Tuesday was a good day. I am happy to have this minimal soreness because I know the worst is finally over. I am not spending a lot of time sitting in front of my computer because it isn't all too comfortable. I will be back to my regular blogging ways very soon and pain free. Oh happy day!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I want my brain to function
Okay, I know it does otherwise my fingers wouldn't be moving to type this up. I just don't feel like it's working right. This lapse in brain power will be over soon, hopefully within the next 2 weeks. My surgery was moved to next Tuesday (cause in my mind a badly diseased organ should not be left to fester in my body for longer than it has to - it's already been too long).
Anyhoo - I have been looking at the photo for this week's Red Writing Hood prompt and I can't even tell what types of weird have been entering & flowing through my thoughts. Makes me wonder if I'm a freak in normal clothing.
We tried a gaming free day yesterday. It lasted well into the evening. Then I went to get some clothes, forgot my all important coupon and got sidetracked to GameStop. I have a new game & so do the youngsters. I have no will power! (Okay, technically, I didn't start playing til well after midnight, but the kids got to play before they went to bed.) I'm a gamer - in case I haven't mentioned that. Maybe not a real gamer, but if I get a new game I enjoy, I can become obsessed with it. If I find the notion to, I will let you know how I feel about LA Noire. I've wanted this game since its release back in May. I just can't always go pick up things I want when I want them, you know the whole food, bills & family thing.
I didn't get to post a SYTYCD recap last week, so look for one this week. The All Stars were on this week & I am so glad to see them! The dancers this year are stellar, but the levels of greatness is always lifted when the All Stars are in the mix.
The Scyfy channel was left on last night (meaning no one changed it over night, not that the tv was left on - I'd kick some ass for that). And I start to hear this familiar theme music. I turn my head & couldn't help but smile. I did not know they still had syndicated episodes of The Greatest American Hero on the air! I didn't love the show, but it was fun.
This would be a great post for Friday Fragments. I'm thinking I will link it up tomorrow, with maybe a bit more.
Anyhoo - I have been looking at the photo for this week's Red Writing Hood prompt and I can't even tell what types of weird have been entering & flowing through my thoughts. Makes me wonder if I'm a freak in normal clothing.
We tried a gaming free day yesterday. It lasted well into the evening. Then I went to get some clothes, forgot my all important coupon and got sidetracked to GameStop. I have a new game & so do the youngsters. I have no will power! (Okay, technically, I didn't start playing til well after midnight, but the kids got to play before they went to bed.) I'm a gamer - in case I haven't mentioned that. Maybe not a real gamer, but if I get a new game I enjoy, I can become obsessed with it. If I find the notion to, I will let you know how I feel about LA Noire. I've wanted this game since its release back in May. I just can't always go pick up things I want when I want them, you know the whole food, bills & family thing.
I didn't get to post a SYTYCD recap last week, so look for one this week. The All Stars were on this week & I am so glad to see them! The dancers this year are stellar, but the levels of greatness is always lifted when the All Stars are in the mix.
The Scyfy channel was left on last night (meaning no one changed it over night, not that the tv was left on - I'd kick some ass for that). And I start to hear this familiar theme music. I turn my head & couldn't help but smile. I did not know they still had syndicated episodes of The Greatest American Hero on the air! I didn't love the show, but it was fun.
This would be a great post for Friday Fragments. I'm thinking I will link it up tomorrow, with maybe a bit more.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday Listicles (on Tuesday) - 10 things I say too often to my children
Brought to you by - The Good Life. My entry, better late than never. These are things I say way too often along with some things I never wanted to say as a parent, but understand why I say it, now.
1. No running in the house! Do you want to break your neck?
2. No jumping on the bed/couch/chair/furniture! This is not a gymnasium. Do you want to break your neck?
3. Because I said so!
4. What do you think you're doing?
5. Who do you think you are?
6. Please rinse your dishes, I make the food, I serve the food, the least you could do is rinse your plate.
7. Please don't stuff wrappers (any garbage) between the couch cushions! Or, please don't leave your garbage laying around for me to clean up.
8. If you take something out, please put it back the way you found it.
9. Quit bickering/arguing/fighting/yelling/crying/being annoying! Or just plain CUT IT OUT/KNOCK IT OFF!
10. Whaaaaat?!
1. No running in the house! Do you want to break your neck?
2. No jumping on the bed/couch/chair/furniture! This is not a gymnasium. Do you want to break your neck?
3. Because I said so!
4. What do you think you're doing?
5. Who do you think you are?
6. Please rinse your dishes, I make the food, I serve the food, the least you could do is rinse your plate.
7. Please don't stuff wrappers (any garbage) between the couch cushions! Or, please don't leave your garbage laying around for me to clean up.
8. If you take something out, please put it back the way you found it.
9. Quit bickering/arguing/fighting/yelling/crying/being annoying! Or just plain CUT IT OUT/KNOCK IT OFF!
10. Whaaaaat?!
RemembeRED - Beating a dead horse
This week's prompt asked us to write about a time that rhythm, or a lack thereof, played a role in your life. And don’t use the word “rhythm.”
I've been blogging about my issues lately, hence beating the dead horse. If you've dropped by my blog, you've read about it all. I apologize for it now.
I don't think I've ever felt so out of it.
I feel like there's so much to be done & there's nothing I can do about it.
And I know I can do something, it's the absolute lack of motivation to do it that is in my way.
I should be courageous & fight through it all.
That's not me, I give in to my weaknesses. Especially the ones that involve pain.
This...pain...it's all consuming.
If you've had issues with your gall bladder, you know it.
In the morning, it sears through my middle asking for immediate attention.
Often times it doesn't wait for morning to scream at me.
Usually, if I had an attack, it was short lived.
It came & went by way of a single pain killer.
I'd go to bed at night & not have to think about it for a long time.
I started to learn what triggered an attack. Most often avoiding these foods (everything I love). Once in a while, I would eat without consulting my awareness.
Then I would pay.
Since last week (today is day 10),
it doesn't matter what I eat,
it doesn't matter if I don't eat,
it doesn't matter what I do, I hurt.
While taking the pain killers does eliminate the pain for a bit, it also lands in my head like a dead weight, crushing my brain.
I can't function with the pain, I can't function with the pain killers.
I sleep when I can
& do what I can - if & when I feel okay.
I feel like I'm a juggled ball, hanging above the world waiting to drop. Once in the hand, I feel suffocated. It's no win.
Add into the mix the children & their needs. I do everything I can & attend to them. They seem to be no worse for what I'm going through, with the exception of extra crabbiness. I ask for a little bit extra from them & sometimes I get it.
It's a phase in my life & it will be over soon. The pain is lessened when I don't eat, sometimes. I'm scheduled for surgery on the 2nd of August. If I stick to a mostly liquid diet, including hot soup in 100 degree heat indexes (yeah, I'm all over that), I should live with little or no pain. Hopefully, we can get that date moved up a week because I want my life back. Sooner is better than later. The bright side - a liquid diet will bring down my weight. Yay for a sliver of positive!
The pain killers totally dampen my mind. I hate feeling like I don't think right & I hate knowing that I'm writing wrong.
I wrote about a lack of rhythm in my life. It just so happens that this is an issue lately, no rhythm, no sense of control. I don't know why I feel I need a disclaimer, but please don't apologize. It's not your fault & everyone goes through their rough patches. I just happen to be living one of mine through my blog. For me, just getting it out is helpful. I don't know that I've ever felt this out of sync with me.
I've been blogging about my issues lately, hence beating the dead horse. If you've dropped by my blog, you've read about it all. I apologize for it now.
I don't think I've ever felt so out of it.
I feel like there's so much to be done & there's nothing I can do about it.
And I know I can do something, it's the absolute lack of motivation to do it that is in my way.
I should be courageous & fight through it all.
That's not me, I give in to my weaknesses. Especially the ones that involve pain.
This...pain...it's all consuming.
If you've had issues with your gall bladder, you know it.
In the morning, it sears through my middle asking for immediate attention.
Often times it doesn't wait for morning to scream at me.
Usually, if I had an attack, it was short lived.
It came & went by way of a single pain killer.
I'd go to bed at night & not have to think about it for a long time.
I started to learn what triggered an attack. Most often avoiding these foods (everything I love). Once in a while, I would eat without consulting my awareness.
Then I would pay.
Since last week (today is day 10),
it doesn't matter what I eat,
it doesn't matter if I don't eat,
it doesn't matter what I do, I hurt.
While taking the pain killers does eliminate the pain for a bit, it also lands in my head like a dead weight, crushing my brain.
I can't function with the pain, I can't function with the pain killers.
I sleep when I can
& do what I can - if & when I feel okay.
I feel like I'm a juggled ball, hanging above the world waiting to drop. Once in the hand, I feel suffocated. It's no win.
Add into the mix the children & their needs. I do everything I can & attend to them. They seem to be no worse for what I'm going through, with the exception of extra crabbiness. I ask for a little bit extra from them & sometimes I get it.
It's a phase in my life & it will be over soon. The pain is lessened when I don't eat, sometimes. I'm scheduled for surgery on the 2nd of August. If I stick to a mostly liquid diet, including hot soup in 100 degree heat indexes (yeah, I'm all over that), I should live with little or no pain. Hopefully, we can get that date moved up a week because I want my life back. Sooner is better than later. The bright side - a liquid diet will bring down my weight. Yay for a sliver of positive!
The pain killers totally dampen my mind. I hate feeling like I don't think right & I hate knowing that I'm writing wrong.
I wrote about a lack of rhythm in my life. It just so happens that this is an issue lately, no rhythm, no sense of control. I don't know why I feel I need a disclaimer, but please don't apologize. It's not your fault & everyone goes through their rough patches. I just happen to be living one of mine through my blog. For me, just getting it out is helpful. I don't know that I've ever felt this out of sync with me.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Aren't teenagers wonderful? This is my life. A hard, honest post.
Last week, I had an eventful week with our 16 year old. I want to say it was a good event, but it was not. We had, oh, let's call it a falling out. I could have let a lot go, but the mood of me this week just wasn't going to let anything go. He claims I kicked him out. I know he said he didn't want to live here any more because he hates it here, so I said he could go anytime. I won't deny that I was horrible when we fought. At one point, I did spit in his face (awful, I know - better than punching him, which is what I really wanted to do, and I wasn't in the mood to get into a fist fight with my 16 year old son) but he opted to say the things people say with only the intention to hurt. He spit back in my face. What does one do when a child will not back down? When discipline is failing & lack of respect is prevalent? I keep thinking - did I create this mess all on my own? I know I didn't by myself, but we can't go there because I would be remiss to tell only my side.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Update
The testing has been done. I'm not sure what is going to happen next, I just know that the dye didn't expose my gall bladder issues. In fact, it didn't expose my gall bladder at all. It makes me wonder if the organ has died. RIP, but it's time to go.
I was told that the scan told the techs that my gall bladder was non-functioning. I'm not sure what that means, & it seems they weren't all that sure either. Or they didn't want to tell me & scare me. I'm not consciously worried about it, but in the back of my mind I'm wondering why a dead or non-functioning organ isn't an emergency? It's the passive in me that may very well kill me one day. I did try asking, so I should get credit for that.
I guess I will find out on Monday after my doc gets the results. In the meantime, I am surviving on pain killers. Thankfully, they are working.
I was told that the scan told the techs that my gall bladder was non-functioning. I'm not sure what that means, & it seems they weren't all that sure either. Or they didn't want to tell me & scare me. I'm not consciously worried about it, but in the back of my mind I'm wondering why a dead or non-functioning organ isn't an emergency? It's the passive in me that may very well kill me one day. I did try asking, so I should get credit for that.
I guess I will find out on Monday after my doc gets the results. In the meantime, I am surviving on pain killers. Thankfully, they are working.
Testing, testing, 123
I haven't been hopping around as much as I usually do & there is a good reason for that. Pain. I posted not long ago about my gall bladder. The thing that's failing, or seeming to fail, more & more each day. Dr. visit has brought me to testing stage - because the pain is not going away like it used to. I have to go for some kind of scan (the dye injection, then contraction & study of the little useless organ) and then I will be scheduled for surgery.
I only tell because I have not been reading blogs & I'm missing it! I was so looking forward to the fiction fest today, with shoes & I won't be able to until much later today, the gall, I tell you! I just can't sit. The most comfortable position is standing. Don't really want to do much of that, either, who stands all day without getting paid to do it?
For now, I bid adieu. I will be reading you all later. I can't wait!!
I only tell because I have not been reading blogs & I'm missing it! I was so looking forward to the fiction fest today, with shoes & I won't be able to until much later today, the gall, I tell you! I just can't sit. The most comfortable position is standing. Don't really want to do much of that, either, who stands all day without getting paid to do it?
For now, I bid adieu. I will be reading you all later. I can't wait!!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Writer's Workshop - Not so much writing today...
On a piece of paper write down something that makes you happy...take a photo of your paper and wa la...there's your post.
Hope on over to visit MamaKat & see what many other people are writing about!
I opted for easy this week. But it is a very worthy easy! I posted earlier this week about how my 7 year old daughter is enjoying writing. Okay, it's kinda last week, but still. It made me feel all fuzzy inside & I plan on doing more writing with her this coming weekend.
Hope on over to visit MamaKat & see what many other people are writing about!
I opted for easy this week. But it is a very worthy easy! I posted earlier this week about how my 7 year old daughter is enjoying writing. Okay, it's kinda last week, but still. It made me feel all fuzzy inside & I plan on doing more writing with her this coming weekend.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Rockin' the baby! My chitlins...
I didn't have any "baby bump" pics to share because I don't think I ever allowed anyone to take photos of me while I was preggers. Except at my shower, but I only have one of those & the bump is not visible due to the gift in front of me.
I'm so glad Shell over at Things I Can't Say decided to do a Rockin' the Baby share!! I have to thank her, too. I spent better than an hour going through some of my photos & got so many giggles seeing them all when they were beebies.
It was very difficult picking just one photo of each of them. But I managed & I picked a few of my faves. I'm the last one. That was eons ago.
My charmer! He was a very happy baby, too. (all of my kids were, I was so very fortunate!) I think he was around 5 months old in this one. Steven is now 24, almost 25. Yeewe...that's almost a quarter century.
I'm so glad Shell over at Things I Can't Say decided to do a Rockin' the Baby share!! I have to thank her, too. I spent better than an hour going through some of my photos & got so many giggles seeing them all when they were beebies.
It was very difficult picking just one photo of each of them. But I managed & I picked a few of my faves. I'm the last one. That was eons ago.
My only daughter. She had to have been just over a year (and still barely any hair!). She's now 7 and those 7 years feel like a millisecond!
My Andewd. He was my happiest baby, and around 5 months in this photo! This was the way I remember him being...always! I don't remember crying, fussing or being, well, a baby. I just remember him being the sunshine in each & every day. He's now 10 and my biggest challenge.
Don't mind the wet mark on the photo, that's what happens to those oldies sometimes. I didn't always keep them in the safest of places. Kyle was about a year & a half in this one. He's now 16, almost 17.
My charmer! He was a very happy baby, too. (all of my kids were, I was so very fortunate!) I think he was around 5 months old in this one. Steven is now 24, almost 25. Yeewe...that's almost a quarter century.
Me, me, me! I won't say how long ago this was. I'm thinking I had to be around 4 or 5 months old. I didn't have much hair when I was a baby, either. Mom told me I didn't have barely any until I was around 2 or so.
So that's that! I don't have a single pic of my husband from when he was young. Not one. Otherwise I would have shared something of him. Thanks to all of you who drop by! I will be dropping in on as many of you as I can fit in tomorrow & over the next few days!
RemebeRED - Sophomore Geometry
Your assignment this week was to write a post about an embarrassing moment.
Many of you asked, "We can only pick one?" Because it is, unfortunately, part of life.
So let's see what you came up with for your post.
Link up - but ONLY if you've done the prompt.
Many of you asked, "We can only pick one?" Because it is, unfortunately, part of life.
So let's see what you came up with for your post.
Link up - but ONLY if you've done the prompt.
I guess this may not be funny to everyone because not everyone will remember 10th grade Geometry. Theorems ALWAYS have a given, I think, cause I really didn't learn about them. We are supposed to be able to deduce the conclusion (or whatever) from what the theorem gives us.
I was never an outstanding student. I could have been. How do I know this? Because so many people throughout my youth stated, time & again, that I "was so smart, just lazy" or "She just doesn't live up to her potential" or, my personal favorite, "if she would just apply herself". I was that kid, and there were a lot of us, I think.
Now that you know I was a stellar, fully devoted student I can tell you my story.
There was this mean teacher in High School. I want to say her name was Mrs. Hilton. I may not be right about that name. She was brutal - with her lessons, with her tests and her pop quizzes were popped at us often, like a bare fist in the face.
It had to have been somewhere towards the end of the second semester. She'd been teaching theorems (what? I still don't know what those are, nor did I ever need to) for at least a week & a half. We were all supposed to have understood what they were & how to work them by the time of the *ahem* incident. She was good at calling on those kids who really wanted to answer. She paid little attention to those of us who were disinterested. Except on this day. Yeah...she called on me.
"Alexis," I'm surprised she even knew my name. "What do you know about this problem?"
At first I didn't even think I heard her right. I sat upright, cause I was all slouched & low - head down, bored to death, legs stretched & hands folded across my lap in the back row. I may have even been almost asleep.
"Huh?" I don't think it was a clear "huh", probably more like a grunt. I scooted my chair back up to my desk.
"Um..." I acted like I was reading the problem and I even strained my face to make it look like I was thinking. Because for some reason, everyone in the class was staring back at me, and they never did that before!!
"Well..." she said, an inner finger was drumming on her brain waiting for me to answer. She pointed at the problem on the board & asked again. "What do you know of this problem?
After another long pause...
"The given?"
The class erupted with laughter. It startled me! After my mini jump, I felt my face flush & realized I must have said something insanely funny, so I chuckled a little, too. To give the air of "MAN AM I FUNNY!", but I was so embarrassed, I felt like a complete dumbass and Mrs. Hilton (or whatever her name was) was pissed. She obviously thought I was being funny intentionally, too. I sure fooled them! HA!
I know I have more stories to tell about my numerous embarrassments, but that one stands out the most. I was laughed at and felt so stupid. That's what I get for not "applying" myself.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Monday Listicles - New meme, Types of young women for young men to avoid
If you love to make lists, then swing on over to northwestmommy.com, AKA The Good Life & link up with her on Mondays.
I am typically not a list maker, as I tend to stray away from the "to do" type things, just like when I was a kid & someone told me what to do - I just didn't want to do it! Even if it's me telling me. I'm not organized enough to want to keep lists of things that are important. I think it's time for change.
I am typically not a list maker, as I tend to stray away from the "to do" type things, just like when I was a kid & someone told me what to do - I just didn't want to do it! Even if it's me telling me. I'm not organized enough to want to keep lists of things that are important. I think it's time for change.
I'm taking my cue from Stay at Home Babe because I think my boys need a list like the one she wrote for her daughters. She made a list of the top 11 guys never to date. I think another disclaimer to be added is "never to marry". These are in no particular order, they are all avoidable.
My list contains 15 types to be avoided and, if pressed, I could probably think of more.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
What a ride!
My first time traveling around to the Red Writing Hood bloggers was such an awesome experience. I probably spent too many hours reading other people’s blogs today. I think I want to manage that each week, but I know sometimes I won’t be able to.
It has been an inspiring kind of day. I keep thinking about what I want to write next. I keep thinking of things I have written & want to share them, maybe look at them with fresh eyes. I’m not sure what it does to the rest of you, but this is what it did to me.
Before I finished reading, my kids were in full bicker. One trying to get the controller away from the other because the other was doing something in the first one’s level.
“Hey, that’s MY game! You can’t do that!”
“It’s mine, too, yes I CAN!”
Andy accidentally knocks her on the head with the nun chuck, she grabs the cord & tugs & I had it. I yelled at both of them "Give me that!" (we all do it, I do it probably way too much, but damn it I was busy reading!!) and turned off the Wii, grounded them from playtime for the rest of the day. Dew did his usual howl of demise (it really does sound like he’s dying) and Fluffy Fart just got mad. Only a few moments later, they are both asking again to play. Mere seconds later!
Luckily, I had just read from the last tab in my open browser & commented. I was done, for now.
It has been an inspiring kind of day. I keep thinking about what I want to write next. I keep thinking of things I have written & want to share them, maybe look at them with fresh eyes. I’m not sure what it does to the rest of you, but this is what it did to me.
Before I finished reading, my kids were in full bicker. One trying to get the controller away from the other because the other was doing something in the first one’s level.
“Hey, that’s MY game! You can’t do that!”
“It’s mine, too, yes I CAN!”
Andy accidentally knocks her on the head with the nun chuck, she grabs the cord & tugs & I had it. I yelled at both of them "Give me that!" (we all do it, I do it probably way too much, but damn it I was busy reading!!) and turned off the Wii, grounded them from playtime for the rest of the day. Dew did his usual howl of demise (it really does sound like he’s dying) and Fluffy Fart just got mad. Only a few moments later, they are both asking again to play. Mere seconds later!
Luckily, I had just read from the last tab in my open browser & commented. I was done, for now.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Dear So & So
Dear lady at the Tupperware party,
Hi! How are ya? Good I hope? Enjoying your new Tupperware, are you? You know those cute RED measuring cups & spoons. Yeah, the RED ones. You came over to me and paid me cash for the set? Yeah, those. The ones from my cash & carry, the RED ones you waved in my face, as I was seated & you were standing, right at my eye level.
Hi! How are ya? Good I hope? Enjoying your new Tupperware, are you? You know those cute RED measuring cups & spoons. Yeah, the RED ones. You came over to me and paid me cash for the set? Yeah, those. The ones from my cash & carry, the RED ones you waved in my face, as I was seated & you were standing, right at my eye level.
The Red Writing Hood: Siren
My first contribution, yet again this week. I'm feeding my writing urges, while not really having any. I read blogs & some of them are so inspiring, I want to write. Here we go.
This week we were asked to challenge ourselves & write outside the box. I don't even have a box I write in, so anything would be good. I don't think I necessarily have a comfort zone, either. I write anything, even if it doesn't turn out well. I decided to try writing from the male POV. I can't say I've written from this POV before, so it should be interesting. Be forewarned about cliche. I can't really help it.
This week we were asked to challenge ourselves & write outside the box. I don't even have a box I write in, so anything would be good. I don't think I necessarily have a comfort zone, either. I write anything, even if it doesn't turn out well. I decided to try writing from the male POV. I can't say I've written from this POV before, so it should be interesting. Be forewarned about cliche. I can't really help it.
Siren
The violent waves shook the bowels of the ship, undulating it heavily. After too long, you would think I would be used to this, thought the captain. Years at sea have his skin aged with salt and sun, rum and smoke. He emerges under the cover of the deck, having trouble keeping his feet. Without seeing he knows the sea’s reaction is from that of a massive storm. Whether or not they will see it, he doesn’t know.
“Aye, Captain,” said his first. “What brings you topside?”
“No rest for the wicked, lad. Having trouble with my thoughts, and the sea.”
The moonlight caressed the water soaked decks with its shimmer. It showed that the ship was more worse for wear than Ethan wanted. Not much out here, lately, though, he thought. Hard to maintain without the much needed gold.
“Aye, Jonah, why not take the night to sleep. At least one of us should, better to take on the sun light tomorrow.”
“Aye, will do, Cap’n,” said Jonah, leaving the ship’s command to Ethan.
As the ship lolled in the vicious water, Ethan could see the clouds slowly moving across the sky, eventually choking what little light the moon offered.
I guess we won’t be missing this, he thought. He began the preparation for the storm, not knowing how long it would be before it hit.
It didn’t take long & it blew through like a cyclone on the sea. Winds howled, tearing the sails on the masts, lightning crashed overhead, across the sky & near the ship. The thunder rumbled in him, exploding in his ears & careening to the decks through his feet. It shook everything. How can they sleep through this, he thought. A helluva lot of rum, that’s how.
He scanned the sea and noticed some shadowy movement, though the movement was the ship & not what was there on the sea. It was an outcrop of large rocks. He didn't remember ever coming past these before & they'd journeyed this way many a time. He took out the spyglass to get a closer look, see if there was anything to be had. The large jutting boulders had to have caused a wreck now & again. He could see nothing but the shadows.
“Aye, Captain,” said his first. “What brings you topside?”
“No rest for the wicked, lad. Having trouble with my thoughts, and the sea.”
The moonlight caressed the water soaked decks with its shimmer. It showed that the ship was more worse for wear than Ethan wanted. Not much out here, lately, though, he thought. Hard to maintain without the much needed gold.
“Aye, Jonah, why not take the night to sleep. At least one of us should, better to take on the sun light tomorrow.”
“Aye, will do, Cap’n,” said Jonah, leaving the ship’s command to Ethan.
As the ship lolled in the vicious water, Ethan could see the clouds slowly moving across the sky, eventually choking what little light the moon offered.
I guess we won’t be missing this, he thought. He began the preparation for the storm, not knowing how long it would be before it hit.
It didn’t take long & it blew through like a cyclone on the sea. Winds howled, tearing the sails on the masts, lightning crashed overhead, across the sky & near the ship. The thunder rumbled in him, exploding in his ears & careening to the decks through his feet. It shook everything. How can they sleep through this, he thought. A helluva lot of rum, that’s how.
He scanned the sea and noticed some shadowy movement, though the movement was the ship & not what was there on the sea. It was an outcrop of large rocks. He didn't remember ever coming past these before & they'd journeyed this way many a time. He took out the spyglass to get a closer look, see if there was anything to be had. The large jutting boulders had to have caused a wreck now & again. He could see nothing but the shadows.
Dawn was on the slow approach, but the sky was still very dark, especially since the clouds were still hanging under the moon. He took to the rocks again and this time, he did see something. At first he thought it was an illusion, in his mind. He looked bare eyed then lifted the spyglass again. It was still there! Watching in a still horror, he saw what he thought was a woman leap into the water!
His heart resembled the thunder from the night's storm. He scrambled to the life boat & dropped it down into the water. He hurried to the site & found this beautiful, raven haired woman gliding across the water. She swims like a fish, he thought first and then, my GOD! She's a woman to keep me!
She approached the tiny wooden boat with ease and climbed in. She said nothing. Her eyes blazed blue. Her skin was pale porcelain.
"Hello," was all Ethan could muster. His mind felt like it was literally blown from his skull. She still said nothing. He was beyond mesmerized.
She took his face gently in her hands and pressed her lips to his own.
As dawn broke through the clouds, the sun arose on the little boat. Jonah saw it, there on the water. He called to the crew, they turned ship towards the vessel. As they neared, they could easily tell that Ethan Morgan was gone. His eyes were open with a look that reminded Jonah of the days when he was happiest. He looked at peace.
His heart resembled the thunder from the night's storm. He scrambled to the life boat & dropped it down into the water. He hurried to the site & found this beautiful, raven haired woman gliding across the water. She swims like a fish, he thought first and then, my GOD! She's a woman to keep me!
She approached the tiny wooden boat with ease and climbed in. She said nothing. Her eyes blazed blue. Her skin was pale porcelain.
"Hello," was all Ethan could muster. His mind felt like it was literally blown from his skull. She still said nothing. He was beyond mesmerized.
She took his face gently in her hands and pressed her lips to his own.
As dawn broke through the clouds, the sun arose on the little boat. Jonah saw it, there on the water. He called to the crew, they turned ship towards the vessel. As they neared, they could easily tell that Ethan Morgan was gone. His eyes were open with a look that reminded Jonah of the days when he was happiest. He looked at peace.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
SYTYCD Recap
Some points I feel I need to make about the show this week - the additions of the new choreographers - AMAZING! I loved the audacious, weird Chucky Klapow - David Bowie Fashion piece. He’s cool and I look forward to seeing what he will bring to the show. Justin Giles, Chucky Klapow, Shaun Everisto, Liz Lira & Ray Leeper are the new choreographers on the show. They did well their first go round with the exception of Shaun Everisto. I thought his piece was sweet, but it lacked the energy & buckness (cause buckness fits) one expects from a hip hop routine.
10 shows that need a comeback - Writer's Workshop
I was thinking about posting something my mom would post, but I rethought because it would be kinda depressing. Her life has some serious downer stuff going on right now & I feel for her. Sharing that might not go over so well.
Instead, I'm opting for this prompt - 10 tv shows you'd like to see make a comeback. I hope I can come up with 10. I watch so much tv now & I did as a kid, you'd think it would be easy. Of course, we can mention cancelled shows from recent times, too. I just don't know if I want to admit to watching some of them. ;)
10. Early Edition - in a better developed environment, the show may have lasted longer. I liked the concept of the show & wouldn't mind seeing it back on tv - maybe with different actors, though.
9. The Muppet Show! I'd love to see it in its original format & see the writing the way it was back then. Are there writers like that still in existence? I don't think the show would go over like it did back then, though. I guess people quit watching for a reason.
8. Soap! I loved, loved, loved Soap! It was one of the funniest shows on tv at the time. I was never really a fan of soap operas (by choice - except for a short stint when I had a job outside my home, it was forced, though...shhhh!) and I loved that Soap parodied them. It was awesome & I was young - even then I understood what they were doing.
7. ER because I miss it terribly! It was one of my favorite shows & it never let me down.
6. I read that Fox cancelled Lie To Me. I am a huge Tim Roth fan, the role of Dr. Cal Lightman was perfection for him. I liked the concept of the show. I'm not sure why they cancelled it since the ratings were good. Maybe they ran out of ideas?
5. Six Feet Under - if only for the deaths at the beginning. They were(and still are) always my favorite start to any show ever. The show itself was just awesome. The story lines, the characters. I really enjoyed the relationships that were portrayed on that show.
4. Brothers & Sisters - okay, maybe I shouldn't mention this one cause it really isn't all that relevant. I fell in love with it after seeing a promo that had it starting *big announcer voice* from the beginning! I enjoyed the characters & how it felt like a real family.
3. Medium - being a huge fan of Patricia Arquette and I really enjoyed the concept of this show, no matter how campy it may have been. Maybe that was the draw for me?
2. 90210 - owp! They already did that & it sucks...unless you're an other worldly teen who knows way too much about life. If you don't this show will surely lead you there. It's sick -sick sick, not cool sick. A disgrace to those of us who loved the original, and I've said too much.
2. American Gothic - an idea that just never came across like it was meant to, or maybe it was just before its time. Sam Raimi was the exec producer. He's a horror king! I'm not sure why it failed, it was riveting & had an interesting story line. I have a thing for shows that have supernatural nuances in them.
1. I don't think it was a show, maybe more like a short. This desperately needs a comeback - School House Rock! I learned stuff from that show! Really learned & it's probably the only show I watched as a kid (besides Sesame Street & the Electric Company) that actually taught me things I really needed to know - especially since I was in school.
"Of course that's just my opinion. I could be wrong". - Dennis Miller
Instead, I'm opting for this prompt - 10 tv shows you'd like to see make a comeback. I hope I can come up with 10. I watch so much tv now & I did as a kid, you'd think it would be easy. Of course, we can mention cancelled shows from recent times, too. I just don't know if I want to admit to watching some of them. ;)
10. Early Edition - in a better developed environment, the show may have lasted longer. I liked the concept of the show & wouldn't mind seeing it back on tv - maybe with different actors, though.
9. The Muppet Show! I'd love to see it in its original format & see the writing the way it was back then. Are there writers like that still in existence? I don't think the show would go over like it did back then, though. I guess people quit watching for a reason.
8. Soap! I loved, loved, loved Soap! It was one of the funniest shows on tv at the time. I was never really a fan of soap operas (by choice - except for a short stint when I had a job outside my home, it was forced, though...shhhh!) and I loved that Soap parodied them. It was awesome & I was young - even then I understood what they were doing.
7. ER because I miss it terribly! It was one of my favorite shows & it never let me down.
6. I read that Fox cancelled Lie To Me. I am a huge Tim Roth fan, the role of Dr. Cal Lightman was perfection for him. I liked the concept of the show. I'm not sure why they cancelled it since the ratings were good. Maybe they ran out of ideas?
5. Six Feet Under - if only for the deaths at the beginning. They were(and still are) always my favorite start to any show ever. The show itself was just awesome. The story lines, the characters. I really enjoyed the relationships that were portrayed on that show.
4. Brothers & Sisters - okay, maybe I shouldn't mention this one cause it really isn't all that relevant. I fell in love with it after seeing a promo that had it starting *big announcer voice* from the beginning! I enjoyed the characters & how it felt like a real family.
3. Medium - being a huge fan of Patricia Arquette and I really enjoyed the concept of this show, no matter how campy it may have been. Maybe that was the draw for me?
2. American Gothic - an idea that just never came across like it was meant to, or maybe it was just before its time. Sam Raimi was the exec producer. He's a horror king! I'm not sure why it failed, it was riveting & had an interesting story line. I have a thing for shows that have supernatural nuances in them.
1. I don't think it was a show, maybe more like a short. This desperately needs a comeback - School House Rock! I learned stuff from that show! Really learned & it's probably the only show I watched as a kid (besides Sesame Street & the Electric Company) that actually taught me things I really needed to know - especially since I was in school.
"Of course that's just my opinion. I could be wrong". - Dennis Miller
Write what you know, or what you feel. Just write.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
RemebeRED - My first contribution
This will be my first time participating in RemembeRED. I have a thing about taking trips down memory lane, so hopefully, my contributions will be worthwhile to those who take the time to read them. I know I'll enjoy reading the posts of others, it's in my semi-voyeuristic nature (not the weirdo voyeur, the curiosity one - if there is such a thing).
We moved to a suburban neighborhood when I was turning 12. For my parents, it was the ultimate move because it was the first house they ever owned. My dad was elated to have a mortgage, rather than a rent payment. The house was his, ours.
Over the years, we flip-flopped rooms several times. The split level house had 4 bedrooms. One was an add-on to the garage. The only people in the house who occupied that room at any given time were my older brother & when we first moved in, my parents. I never wanted that room - it was in the garage, after all (blocked off by a wall, but still in the garage...).
I had the pink room - upstairs at the back of the short hall, common sense told my parents when they viewed the house that it would be my room. I wasn't crazy about it. Pink (carnation pink) walls & green shag carpet - ew! I did have that room for most of my life in that house. I also occupied the room downstairs & the master bedroom upstairs next to mine, across from the bathroom at other times.
When my parents occupied the master bedroom, they put a small tv (13 inch) on top of my mom's old wardrobe. That tiny little tv was the source of so many fun memories & time spent together as a family. My dad didn't often hush us when we were all together watching tv. Because we did, in fact, watch the shows.
My parents LOVED China Beach. Kind of a M*A*S*H for Vietnam. I wasn't always interested in the show, but I did enjoy just being in there while they watched it. The closeness I felt with my family is what always brought me in there to watch TV.
The Cosby show is probably the most significant memory evoking tv show that we shared. That & Cheers. So many laughs were shared watching those 2 shows & the comments we'd shoot around while watching would be sometimes snide, but oh so much fun! We could pick on each other without anyone getting hurt or angry. We would compare our own short comings with those the Cosby kids experienced. Overall, I think we all took some things away from the Cosby family. That was when tv was still wholesome & good.
It was so much more about the time we spent together, my dad in the chair, my mom, me & my little bro on the bed & my older brother either standing around or on the edge of the bed. I never thought tv shows would be a source of joy, but it has been & whenever I see an old episode of the Cosby Show or Cheers, I can't help but feel nostalgic & want to be back in that room, hanging out with my family. We all live all around the country, so the memories are like a warm, distant hug when I get to feeling them.
Join in the writing, if you want to share!
Family Time with the Browns
We moved to a suburban neighborhood when I was turning 12. For my parents, it was the ultimate move because it was the first house they ever owned. My dad was elated to have a mortgage, rather than a rent payment. The house was his, ours.
Over the years, we flip-flopped rooms several times. The split level house had 4 bedrooms. One was an add-on to the garage. The only people in the house who occupied that room at any given time were my older brother & when we first moved in, my parents. I never wanted that room - it was in the garage, after all (blocked off by a wall, but still in the garage...).
I had the pink room - upstairs at the back of the short hall, common sense told my parents when they viewed the house that it would be my room. I wasn't crazy about it. Pink (carnation pink) walls & green shag carpet - ew! I did have that room for most of my life in that house. I also occupied the room downstairs & the master bedroom upstairs next to mine, across from the bathroom at other times.
When my parents occupied the master bedroom, they put a small tv (13 inch) on top of my mom's old wardrobe. That tiny little tv was the source of so many fun memories & time spent together as a family. My dad didn't often hush us when we were all together watching tv. Because we did, in fact, watch the shows.
My parents LOVED China Beach. Kind of a M*A*S*H for Vietnam. I wasn't always interested in the show, but I did enjoy just being in there while they watched it. The closeness I felt with my family is what always brought me in there to watch TV.
The Cosby show is probably the most significant memory evoking tv show that we shared. That & Cheers. So many laughs were shared watching those 2 shows & the comments we'd shoot around while watching would be sometimes snide, but oh so much fun! We could pick on each other without anyone getting hurt or angry. We would compare our own short comings with those the Cosby kids experienced. Overall, I think we all took some things away from the Cosby family. That was when tv was still wholesome & good.
It was so much more about the time we spent together, my dad in the chair, my mom, me & my little bro on the bed & my older brother either standing around or on the edge of the bed. I never thought tv shows would be a source of joy, but it has been & whenever I see an old episode of the Cosby Show or Cheers, I can't help but feel nostalgic & want to be back in that room, hanging out with my family. We all live all around the country, so the memories are like a warm, distant hug when I get to feeling them.
Holiday Celebrations Wordful/Wordless Wednesday
It was a kind of whirlwind weekend. I keep thinking how fast the 4th came & went. It never fails that time passes quicker each year that goes by. It's kind of sick, not cool sick, sick sick. Slow doooooowwwn.
The jello shots were a huge hit. One of the couples that were at the party I went to Sunday had had their share of jello shots the night before and the jello shots lost their luster (I won't tell the story, funny as it is, because it isn't mine to tell. Let's just say the wife couldn't find the bathroom in their house, but who needs one if you really have to pee!! 15 jello shots at the night's end will do that to you.). After they had one - they were sold on them. I found this website called My Science Project. I was not going to make the shots (cause it was optional - it always is when you bring stuff to a party) but after I found the recipe, I had to. If you get a chance to look around the website, do. They have done lots of experimenting with the jello shots. What flavors work best together & the like.
I'm not a food photographer & that will show, I also didn't do step by step pics cause I forgot. But here are a few:
Join everyone for Wordful/Wordless Wednesday
The jello shots were a huge hit. One of the couples that were at the party I went to Sunday had had their share of jello shots the night before and the jello shots lost their luster (I won't tell the story, funny as it is, because it isn't mine to tell. Let's just say the wife couldn't find the bathroom in their house, but who needs one if you really have to pee!! 15 jello shots at the night's end will do that to you.). After they had one - they were sold on them. I found this website called My Science Project. I was not going to make the shots (cause it was optional - it always is when you bring stuff to a party) but after I found the recipe, I had to. If you get a chance to look around the website, do. They have done lots of experimenting with the jello shots. What flavors work best together & the like.
I'm not a food photographer & that will show, I also didn't do step by step pics cause I forgot. But here are a few:
Before the cream was leveled
Adding the Berry Blue liquid for the one above & the one below
The finished product. How festive, no?
My recipe:
1 box each red raspberry & berry blue jello mix (3 oz. pkgs)
1 tub of cool whip
Either super mini-marshmallows (opt for the super minis) or cut some up (this is a real pain in the ass, let me tell you! But using water to douse the knife repeatedly & my fingers, it was doable)
My alcohol mixtures:
Raspberry - 1/4 c of Watermelon Pucker & 3/4 c of Raspberry vodka (can use pucker, too)
Berry Blue - 1/4 c of Lime Vodka & 3/4 c of Blue Curacao
50 pack of plastic shot cups
A popsicle stick
50 pack of plastic shot cups
A popsicle stick
Boil 1 cup of water and dissolve the package of red raspberry jello in it. Let the mixture cool to room temp. Add the 1 cup mixture of alcohol to the room temp jello. Pour into the shot cups, refrigerate for at least 90 minutes. Once set, add cool whip using a popsicle stick. Fill the cup to about 2/3, then level the cool whip as good as you can so no peaks will stick through the blue jello. Return to the fridge.
While the raspberry is setting in the fridge w/the cool whip, prepare the berry blue jello as you did the raspberry. At room temp, add the 1 c of alcohol mixture. Pull out the set cups & gently pour the berry blue mixture onto the tops. I used a tablespoon measuring spoon, but a kitchen syringe might be a good idea. Let the blue jello set until tacky (around 30 - 45 minutes or so) then add the cut up marshmallows.
50 shot cups were the perfect amount for this recipe. I added a little bit extra Lime Vodka for the berry blue, maybe an extra 1/4 c, so the mixture was more like 1 1/4 c total. & after reading the website I mentioned above, you can do that. The jello's consistency did not alter a noticeable amount. It was firm enough for the shots.
50 shot cups were the perfect amount for this recipe. I added a little bit extra Lime Vodka for the berry blue, maybe an extra 1/4 c, so the mixture was more like 1 1/4 c total. & after reading the website I mentioned above, you can do that. The jello's consistency did not alter a noticeable amount. It was firm enough for the shots.
I didn't want to get drunk, so I didn't have 15 of them. I did have a few & they are a different joy as far as jello shots go. The cool whip makes them more like a dessert shot.
I said will never make them again, but it was kinda fun. So I might.
Wait, there's more...
My kids this weekend:
Pool bully!
He loves being in the pool. I couldn't get him out.
Smoke Bombs
Smoke bombs!
Sparklers!
Sparklers!
A roman candle. I got lucky with the shot.
Wait, there's more...
My kids this weekend:
She's way in the back, see her? Water wings
& all.
This one looks like a flower.
Friday, July 1, 2011
A neat little web application
I found this little application on 2 occasions. One time reading an interesting blog here - Liberality, and another time just this morning over at The Good Life. I enjoy reading both blogs. What I came across was the "I Write Like" writing analyzer.
I kinda wanted to do a little experiment with my writing. Even though it says quite suggestively that "Check which famous writer you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them with those of the famous writers." Neither you or I can determine exactly how this little application garner's it's information (maybe you can, but I'm not all that technology adept), how was it coded to figure out our individual writing styles?
I kinda wanted to do a little experiment with my writing. Even though it says quite suggestively that "Check which famous writer you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them with those of the famous writers." Neither you or I can determine exactly how this little application garner's it's information (maybe you can, but I'm not all that technology adept), how was it coded to figure out our individual writing styles?
A Fragmented kind of week.
Weird how some weeks just feel like this. Bits & pieces.
Sunday I got to spend time with my lovely friend Jill & her family. We ended up hanging out all day, kids had smores over a bonfire. I wish I had my camera with me. Andy made his first couple of marshmallows and nearly burned them through. Didn't matter cause he ate them anyway. His cheeks & all around his mouth were covered in mallow ash. It looked like a he fell flat on his face in dirt.
I also got to cook in Jill's kitchen. Her husband redid it for her (lucky! cause he really did the work, didn't have to hire someone) a couple of years ago & it's truly a dream kitchen. It has a bow ceiling. It has mahogany cabinets (not entirely sure of the wood, but they are a gorgeous reddish wood), & a beautiful island with a huge pot rack over head. She is a keen decorator, too. I love being in her kitchen.
I am a home decor voyeur. If I take any kind of drive at night, I slowly pass people's home & try to peek in windows to see how they decorate. What do they have on their walls? What kind of furniture do they have? How did they paint or are the walls stark? I'm a weirdo like that. I really just want to see the decor. If I see a person, I look away. There's this one house around here. I think the guy bought it just to flip it. He's been in it for months & it has a large picture window (no window treatments at all). All I see in there is camping chairs, a big flat TV & much construction stuff. Either that, or he's just remodeling it for himself.
The weather was just about perfect last week. Not hot at all, perfectly cooler evenings.
I'm not sure what made me want to, but this week I watched a couple of 9/11 conspiracy documentaries. All I can say is there were a lot of things that were (seemingly) evidential and really made me wonder. In some aspects of each of them, I am on the fence with my opinion. Some of the evidence (and it's very convincing) seems downright realistic and terrifying all at the same time.
We need to start doing things of substance this summer. Haven't done much of anything.
Last night we had storms blowing through that were loud & bright. The loudest & brightest in years. I hate being woken up by thunder several times a night.
Big plans this weekend, maybe a "cup runneth over" kind of weekend. The in-laws in town, an open house & a good friend's party (with jello shots...maybe).
Sunday I got to spend time with my lovely friend Jill & her family. We ended up hanging out all day, kids had smores over a bonfire. I wish I had my camera with me. Andy made his first couple of marshmallows and nearly burned them through. Didn't matter cause he ate them anyway. His cheeks & all around his mouth were covered in mallow ash. It looked like a he fell flat on his face in dirt.
I also got to cook in Jill's kitchen. Her husband redid it for her (lucky! cause he really did the work, didn't have to hire someone) a couple of years ago & it's truly a dream kitchen. It has a bow ceiling. It has mahogany cabinets (not entirely sure of the wood, but they are a gorgeous reddish wood), & a beautiful island with a huge pot rack over head. She is a keen decorator, too. I love being in her kitchen.
I am a home decor voyeur. If I take any kind of drive at night, I slowly pass people's home & try to peek in windows to see how they decorate. What do they have on their walls? What kind of furniture do they have? How did they paint or are the walls stark? I'm a weirdo like that. I really just want to see the decor. If I see a person, I look away. There's this one house around here. I think the guy bought it just to flip it. He's been in it for months & it has a large picture window (no window treatments at all). All I see in there is camping chairs, a big flat TV & much construction stuff. Either that, or he's just remodeling it for himself.
The weather was just about perfect last week. Not hot at all, perfectly cooler evenings.
I'm not sure what made me want to, but this week I watched a couple of 9/11 conspiracy documentaries. All I can say is there were a lot of things that were (seemingly) evidential and really made me wonder. In some aspects of each of them, I am on the fence with my opinion. Some of the evidence (and it's very convincing) seems downright realistic and terrifying all at the same time.
We need to start doing things of substance this summer. Haven't done much of anything.
Last night we had storms blowing through that were loud & bright. The loudest & brightest in years. I hate being woken up by thunder several times a night.
Big plans this weekend, maybe a "cup runneth over" kind of weekend. The in-laws in town, an open house & a good friend's party (with jello shots...maybe).
Friday Fragments, join the fray
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Summer reading - Wordless/Wordful Wednesday
I picked up a couple of books for the children yesterday. Andy got some Captain Underpants and Maia some Junie B. Jones books. I was going to grab Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing for Maia, but looked through the book & thought, maybe we'll go with something I know she'll read with ease, first. I know she can read well, but I didn't want to overload her...little did I know.
She likes to read aloud when I'm listening or when no one complains
Maybe I should have gone with some Judy Blume, instead. I'm a sucker for a bargain & the Junie books were buy 2 get one. I brought them home last night around 8:30 & Maia's done with all 3 books! I got the longest stories I could find. I think it took her about 2.5 hours to read all of them (she didn't just sit & read, it was spread out over the course of the day). She's 7. Yay for Maia & I am going to get her Judy Blume next time, for sure. I know she can handle them. I also want to pick up the first Harry Potter because that's the only one we no longer have. I don't know what happened to it, but it's missing. I know she'll enjoy those just as much as I did.
Enjoying a beautiful day out on the deck with a book.
I think she's my only solid "reader like me". I can get caught up in a series & finish them in no time. Just like I did with James Patterson's Women's Murder Club. Andy claims he doesn't like to read and Kyle thinks there are more important things to do besides read. Like play computer games or the PS3.
Mini-me (named for her mama cause she looks just like her) was kinda just wondering what we were doing. She's peekin'.
I just has to see what yous doin'.
She likes to read aloud when I'm listening or when no one complainsMaybe I should have gone with some Judy Blume, instead. I'm a sucker for a bargain & the Junie books were buy 2 get one. I brought them home last night around 8:30 & Maia's done with all 3 books! I got the longest stories I could find. I think it took her about 2.5 hours to read all of them (she didn't just sit & read, it was spread out over the course of the day). She's 7. Yay for Maia & I am going to get her Judy Blume next time, for sure. I know she can handle them. I also want to pick up the first Harry Potter because that's the only one we no longer have. I don't know what happened to it, but it's missing. I know she'll enjoy those just as much as I did.
Enjoying a beautiful day out on the deck with a book.I think she's my only solid "reader like me". I can get caught up in a series & finish them in no time. Just like I did with James Patterson's Women's Murder Club. Andy claims he doesn't like to read and Kyle thinks there are more important things to do besides read. Like play computer games or the PS3.
Mini-me (named for her mama cause she looks just like her) was kinda just wondering what we were doing. She's peekin'.
I just has to see what yous doin'.Join up for Wordful/Wordless Wednesday!
Monday, June 27, 2011
The GALL of my gall bladder!
How could you do this to me? Is it so hard to intake so many refined sugars & fatty meats while not consuming the things that are truly good for you? Really!?! I am ashamed of you and hate you for causing intermittent pain because you so desperately need a good cleanse. And who gave you the right to get all diseased & unhealthy anyway? It is my body after all, you just live in it, neighbor of my liver!
That being said, yes, I've cause an internal issue for myself that may one day require surgery. I don't like surgery & I think, if I do things right, I may be able to avoid it. I've already decided that I needed to start eating better (decided - a long time ago. It's not working out so well.). I want to eat more food. Period. I typically don't eat much of anything except dinner. During the days before the DOT, I will get cravings for many things, none of which are good for me, or my gall bladder. If I do better my eating habits, then even indulging once a month shouldn't be all that bad.
I was reading a few articles online & now I want to know how to make beet juice. Beet juice with carrots & cucumbers because they help cleanse (& maybe even heal!) the gall bladder. I don't have a juicer, nor do I intend to buy one. Do you think I can use a blender & maybe just puree it? I also read that pears & pear juice are good for the gall bladder. Pears are my favorite fruit, so I can do that, too.
Had to go to the ER early Spring 2010 because the pain was so intense I almost couldn't walk and I had no idea what was causing it for 3 days. I was diagnosed with gall bladder disease & the ER doc told me that if I ever came to the ER again, with this same issue, he wouldn't wait. He'd just send me in for surgery. He prescribed vicodin for pain management. I didn't even pick up the prescription for almost 6 months because it took my gall bladder that long to get pissed at me again. & I can tell you, I HATE, HATE taking vicodin. It does take mere minutes to get rid of debilitating pain, but the feeling I get, the queasy, weavy feeling? Can't stand it for those feelings & it makes me a complete bitch. No one can talk to me without a full on bitch blast. I hate being that way, too. It also takes me at least 2 days to recover from taking one pill. I get lazy, sleepy & just don't want to do anything.
The last 2 mornings I woke to this lovely pain. It takes me out! Nsaids (so, sue me or tell me that I'm doing more harm to my body) worked this morning. It took about 2 hours, but the pain is severely dulled. I can function. I am going to go shopping for fresh beets, carrots, pears & a couple of cucumbers. I need to start now because I don't think I can take much more of this.
That being said, yes, I've cause an internal issue for myself that may one day require surgery. I don't like surgery & I think, if I do things right, I may be able to avoid it. I've already decided that I needed to start eating better (decided - a long time ago. It's not working out so well.). I want to eat more food. Period. I typically don't eat much of anything except dinner. During the days before the DOT, I will get cravings for many things, none of which are good for me, or my gall bladder. If I do better my eating habits, then even indulging once a month shouldn't be all that bad.
I was reading a few articles online & now I want to know how to make beet juice. Beet juice with carrots & cucumbers because they help cleanse (& maybe even heal!) the gall bladder. I don't have a juicer, nor do I intend to buy one. Do you think I can use a blender & maybe just puree it? I also read that pears & pear juice are good for the gall bladder. Pears are my favorite fruit, so I can do that, too.
Had to go to the ER early Spring 2010 because the pain was so intense I almost couldn't walk and I had no idea what was causing it for 3 days. I was diagnosed with gall bladder disease & the ER doc told me that if I ever came to the ER again, with this same issue, he wouldn't wait. He'd just send me in for surgery. He prescribed vicodin for pain management. I didn't even pick up the prescription for almost 6 months because it took my gall bladder that long to get pissed at me again. & I can tell you, I HATE, HATE taking vicodin. It does take mere minutes to get rid of debilitating pain, but the feeling I get, the queasy, weavy feeling? Can't stand it for those feelings & it makes me a complete bitch. No one can talk to me without a full on bitch blast. I hate being that way, too. It also takes me at least 2 days to recover from taking one pill. I get lazy, sleepy & just don't want to do anything.
The last 2 mornings I woke to this lovely pain. It takes me out! Nsaids (so, sue me or tell me that I'm doing more harm to my body) worked this morning. It took about 2 hours, but the pain is severely dulled. I can function. I am going to go shopping for fresh beets, carrots, pears & a couple of cucumbers. I need to start now because I don't think I can take much more of this.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Not on Saturday
Typically, I don't post on Saturdays. Not because I am way too busy, just because I don't. I don't have an excuse or explanation other than that.
Since I'm back to blogging, I figured Why not?
The band-aid is firmly in place & we are okay. As usual. I have been considering (really, after 17 years? This should have been in place ages ago, but we forget...) date night. A regular date night with my husband. I think it will be good for us because we don't talk enough about things of substance. Baseball has substance, okay, I get it, but why is it the only topic it seems we can really connect with? Or Football in the fall?
I hope that a few of you may have some ideas. We are on opposite sides when it comes to interests. Maybe a better way to put it, he has a sports side when it comes to interest - that's all. I remember hearing, long before I had interest in relationships or marriage, about how so many men are only sports oriented. As I got older, I didn't believe it. Now, I do. I want to be able to go out to a nice restaurant, but he's picky & doesn't like to try new food. I want to be able to go to a movie & we have gone to movies, but he doesn't like to because it makes him soooo sleepy! I wouldn't mind going to a concert, but he doesn't like live music. I wouldn't mind going to a local place & listening to open mic night music, but he says they all suck. I wouldn't mind going to a comedy club, but he says he hates live comedy. And here's a kick, while I love going to live sporting events, he hates it. He'd rather be in the comfort of his man cave watching all (yes ALL!) the action on his 65" LCD HD. "Honey, it's like being at all the games!" I wouldn't mind going to local theater & seeing a production, but you get the gist of it. I wouldn't mind taking a long drive in the country, armed with my camera. That would give us a lot of time to talk, right? Yeah, you know.
Once in a while, we'll go out with this one couple we enjoy spending time with. Those times we go out to the bar. In my mind, that doesn't qualify a date night.
So what do we do? Can anyone offer any other suggestions for a date night or do I need to hog tie him, throw him in the trunk & drag him somewhere?
For my old buddy Michelle (I re-read it & it is quite corny):
From 9-15-93 (before we were married - I think this was when he went to NY with a friend of his)
This house is so lonely
Without you here.
This bed is so empty
When you're not near.
My heart is just aching
For your return.
My mind is just crazy
And filled with concern.
I miss you so much
You know how I do,
Because I am such
A fool for you.
Don't carry on down
The road too long,
Because here next to me
Is where you belong.
You've taken my heart
Along for the ride,
And I'm keeping yours
Right here by my side.
I know you'll be home
In just a short while,
But til then I'll miss you
For every mile.
Not a real poem, as real poetry is so much better. I . am. so. embarrassed. I was only 22, so there.
Since I'm back to blogging, I figured Why not?
The band-aid is firmly in place & we are okay. As usual. I have been considering (really, after 17 years? This should have been in place ages ago, but we forget...) date night. A regular date night with my husband. I think it will be good for us because we don't talk enough about things of substance. Baseball has substance, okay, I get it, but why is it the only topic it seems we can really connect with? Or Football in the fall?
I hope that a few of you may have some ideas. We are on opposite sides when it comes to interests. Maybe a better way to put it, he has a sports side when it comes to interest - that's all. I remember hearing, long before I had interest in relationships or marriage, about how so many men are only sports oriented. As I got older, I didn't believe it. Now, I do. I want to be able to go out to a nice restaurant, but he's picky & doesn't like to try new food. I want to be able to go to a movie & we have gone to movies, but he doesn't like to because it makes him soooo sleepy! I wouldn't mind going to a concert, but he doesn't like live music. I wouldn't mind going to a local place & listening to open mic night music, but he says they all suck. I wouldn't mind going to a comedy club, but he says he hates live comedy. And here's a kick, while I love going to live sporting events, he hates it. He'd rather be in the comfort of his man cave watching all (yes ALL!) the action on his 65" LCD HD. "Honey, it's like being at all the games!" I wouldn't mind going to local theater & seeing a production, but you get the gist of it. I wouldn't mind taking a long drive in the country, armed with my camera. That would give us a lot of time to talk, right? Yeah, you know.
Once in a while, we'll go out with this one couple we enjoy spending time with. Those times we go out to the bar. In my mind, that doesn't qualify a date night.
So what do we do? Can anyone offer any other suggestions for a date night or do I need to hog tie him, throw him in the trunk & drag him somewhere?
For my old buddy Michelle (I re-read it & it is quite corny):
From 9-15-93 (before we were married - I think this was when he went to NY with a friend of his)
This house is so lonely
Without you here.
This bed is so empty
When you're not near.
My heart is just aching
For your return.
My mind is just crazy
And filled with concern.
I miss you so much
You know how I do,
Because I am such
A fool for you.
Don't carry on down
The road too long,
Because here next to me
Is where you belong.
You've taken my heart
Along for the ride,
And I'm keeping yours
Right here by my side.
I know you'll be home
In just a short while,
But til then I'll miss you
For every mile.
Not a real poem, as real poetry is so much better. I . am. so. embarrassed. I was only 22, so there.
Friday, June 24, 2011
The first post for Friday Fragments
My very first Friday Fragments. I know I'll get better at keeping track of the things I want to mention on Fridays. Usually, I have lots of random in my head throughout the week.
I sent out 60 invites for a party! Yeah! (if we calculate 25% of them show up, I may just see 15 people at the demo!) I don't want to get my hopes up, but I think it will be there & a few more. Could mean a fabulous turn out, which I so desperately need!!
I found a very old poem I wrote this week. From 1993. Cute, but kind of corny. If anyone wants me to share it, just ask. ;)
My children are amazing me! I think the Dewd is really starting to get it. I've seen his behavior improve by leaps & bounds over the last month. He seems to be responding well to my "no nonsense" attitude. Who knew consistency would work...
We need to shave Porkchop again. He looks so cute when he's groomed with his lion tail.
I don't feel today like I did yesterday. Why is it I equate music to situations? I found a couple more songs I could've thrown up here to express what was in my head.
Thanks, Mrs. 4s (or 4444)!!
I sent out 60 invites for a party! Yeah! (if we calculate 25% of them show up, I may just see 15 people at the demo!) I don't want to get my hopes up, but I think it will be there & a few more. Could mean a fabulous turn out, which I so desperately need!!
I found a very old poem I wrote this week. From 1993. Cute, but kind of corny. If anyone wants me to share it, just ask. ;)
My children are amazing me! I think the Dewd is really starting to get it. I've seen his behavior improve by leaps & bounds over the last month. He seems to be responding well to my "no nonsense" attitude. Who knew consistency would work...
We need to shave Porkchop again. He looks so cute when he's groomed with his lion tail.
I don't feel today like I did yesterday. Why is it I equate music to situations? I found a couple more songs I could've thrown up here to express what was in my head.
Thanks, Mrs. 4s (or 4444)!!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
What it's all about
Many people say they started blogging & continue to do so in order to keep their sanity. It's therapeutic. I wholeheartedly agree, to a degree. I like being able to come here & express myself & issues with the kids & how they can really drive me nuts! That part is absolutely therapeutic, especially when someone comes along with a bit of their own experiences and then I feel like I'm not the only one.
The last few days have been a kind of hell here. & no, it's not the kids. In fact, since Summer break began, they have really been doing so much better than I expected & this year I forgot to state all the rules. I guess they just remembered. So, a huge thanks go out to them for being my wonderful, fabulous, ever loving brood!
What I don't see a lot of in this community is truth about the marriage. Maybe I haven't explored enough or gotten back into reading enough. I guess we're so into just dealing with everything else, we want to portray that the marriage is all good. (I'm thinking I have a lot more reading to do, but still) I feel the NEED to vent something. & I can do it without putting everything out there. (If any of you were around a few years ago, there was one blogger that had a huge following, but she did let the personal get way too personal. We found out things about her that we really should never have known.)
So, my time to vent.
When is it too much? I mean, we've been married for 17 years (almost) and, really almost all of it has been pretty darn good. It's those times when I decide complacency isn't enough. When I feel like I'm doing everything & nothing at all. I am certain some of this is me. I would be stupid to think it wasn't. It's going over the same issues time & again & never really resolving them. We get to a point where agreeing to disagree will work, for now. It's not going to. I need resolution. I need to feel like the right things were said & we can be truly happy, like I feel we are most of the time. Except, without resolution - how is it that we are truly happy? A catch 22.
& how, when we fight, argue or disagree is all of it my fault? Then I suggest it's conformity you need, well, sorry, marriage isn't about conforming to the ways of the spouse. It's about compromise (and we've both done that - tons & in many ways), it's about support (and we've both supported each other with many things - I just feel like the support I get is limited to financial, not emotional), it's about kindness & appreciation (while we both strive to appreciate, it seems it's lacking in some areas). In most other parts of the marriage, things are almost always awesome - it's just this one area that seems like it shouldn't be as significant a deal breaker as it is with him. It's so stupid, too!!! There are a couple other rough spots, but this one is the frequent thing.
Why is it so hard to come to a resolution? Grrrr! This is how I feel right now. This is how I've been feeling for the last few days. And this is one of those times where I imagine escape. See, it's not the kids that make me want to run away. They could never build this much frustration in me. Maybe they could, but they don't.
A song that reflects what I feel (and I probably won't feel this way tomorrow, just sayin'):
(Not that I want to say goodbye to him, I love him incredibly, it's the turning of the tables I don't need every time we argue, and the silent treatment)
The last few days have been a kind of hell here. & no, it's not the kids. In fact, since Summer break began, they have really been doing so much better than I expected & this year I forgot to state all the rules. I guess they just remembered. So, a huge thanks go out to them for being my wonderful, fabulous, ever loving brood!
What I don't see a lot of in this community is truth about the marriage. Maybe I haven't explored enough or gotten back into reading enough. I guess we're so into just dealing with everything else, we want to portray that the marriage is all good. (I'm thinking I have a lot more reading to do, but still) I feel the NEED to vent something. & I can do it without putting everything out there. (If any of you were around a few years ago, there was one blogger that had a huge following, but she did let the personal get way too personal. We found out things about her that we really should never have known.)
So, my time to vent.
When is it too much? I mean, we've been married for 17 years (almost) and, really almost all of it has been pretty darn good. It's those times when I decide complacency isn't enough. When I feel like I'm doing everything & nothing at all. I am certain some of this is me. I would be stupid to think it wasn't. It's going over the same issues time & again & never really resolving them. We get to a point where agreeing to disagree will work, for now. It's not going to. I need resolution. I need to feel like the right things were said & we can be truly happy, like I feel we are most of the time. Except, without resolution - how is it that we are truly happy? A catch 22.
& how, when we fight, argue or disagree is all of it my fault? Then I suggest it's conformity you need, well, sorry, marriage isn't about conforming to the ways of the spouse. It's about compromise (and we've both done that - tons & in many ways), it's about support (and we've both supported each other with many things - I just feel like the support I get is limited to financial, not emotional), it's about kindness & appreciation (while we both strive to appreciate, it seems it's lacking in some areas). In most other parts of the marriage, things are almost always awesome - it's just this one area that seems like it shouldn't be as significant a deal breaker as it is with him. It's so stupid, too!!! There are a couple other rough spots, but this one is the frequent thing.
Why is it so hard to come to a resolution? Grrrr! This is how I feel right now. This is how I've been feeling for the last few days. And this is one of those times where I imagine escape. See, it's not the kids that make me want to run away. They could never build this much frustration in me. Maybe they could, but they don't.
A song that reflects what I feel (and I probably won't feel this way tomorrow, just sayin'):
(Not that I want to say goodbye to him, I love him incredibly, it's the turning of the tables I don't need every time we argue, and the silent treatment)
Writer's Workshop
Europe
Okay, Europe is not a country. I find it very difficult to pick just one country there. I was watching a movie last night & thinking that I should be living in London. Or somewhere in the English countryside. Of course, movies depict the landscapes of other countries beautifully. I don't think the editing makes the places look better, I believe that's how they look in the location the movie is shot. Location, location, location, right?
All of these countries are just a stones throw from one another - how is that not awesome? My brother has been to Europe a couple of times & he said they are so close together it's almost like driving from town to town in any state in the US. I'm sure that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I get what he's saying. If I had to choose a place to begin my journey - I would choose Italy.
The Boot
Most of Europe has a ton of places to visit in each country, landmarks, historical attractions, dining experiences, etc. Something about Italy, though, just makes me want to go there & soak up the culture, the scenery, the absolute beauty of the place. The wonders to see, too!! The Roman Colosseum - wow - I want to go there & feel the brutal history of that place. I imagine the spirits of it still angry & full of fight. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.
And Venice!! The water canals of streets, the amazing architecture that is centuries old! The romantic fountains and colorful shorelines, and I'm sure there are several rustic cafes all over every city in Italy; oh and who can forget the Tuscan Countryside.
If I ever make it to Europe, I hope I have at least a year to do everything I want to do there and that may not even be enough time. Maybe in another life? Maybe before I die...I will know when it happens.
This is my project for Mama Kat's
Writer's Workshop
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
My Show Off
I don't use any kind of super camera. It's just an old(er) Olympus SP-510. I want something more, an SLR - Not sure if I'd go with Canon or Nikon. In my mind an SLR means "do something with it" more than just taking pics of things I want to. Make more out of it than a mom taking pics of the kids. I don't think I have that kind of eye, I just think I get lucky sometimes.
I don't even know how to use my camera to it's greatest abilities. I am fully unaware of all of it's features. Even so, I have some favorite pics I've taken using it. This photo wasn't even taken by me. (I just re-read the guidelines & I hope no one minds, it isn't me, but he learned from me - can that count? next week, I'll do it right.) It was taken by my 16 year old son, when he was 15. He got lucky, too. Kyle placed a ball cap on our cat Porkchop's head. We all know how much cats love hats & how long they allow the hat to cover them, right? Lucky, but a brilliant photo. He doesn't even looked pissed, like he did right after the hat came off.
There was no editing done to this photo except to resize it.
Awesome shot, Kyle! You've taken so many pics of Fatty (a nickname for Porkchop) but I think this one is the best! He's an uber photogenic kitteh!
I am participating for the first time in My Show Off! Check it out -
I don't even know how to use my camera to it's greatest abilities. I am fully unaware of all of it's features. Even so, I have some favorite pics I've taken using it. This photo wasn't even taken by me. (I just re-read the guidelines & I hope no one minds, it isn't me, but he learned from me - can that count? next week, I'll do it right.) It was taken by my 16 year old son, when he was 15. He got lucky, too. Kyle placed a ball cap on our cat Porkchop's head. We all know how much cats love hats & how long they allow the hat to cover them, right? Lucky, but a brilliant photo. He doesn't even looked pissed, like he did right after the hat came off.
There was no editing done to this photo except to resize it.
Awesome shot, Kyle! You've taken so many pics of Fatty (a nickname for Porkchop) but I think this one is the best! He's an uber photogenic kitteh!
I am participating for the first time in My Show Off! Check it out -
SYTYCD
After watching for the last couple of weeks, I can say with great certainty that I don't want to see anyone go because they are so absolutely talented!!
Standouts for me - Melanie, Tadd, Mitchell, Clarice, Caitlynn, Alexander, Sasha & Jess.
I am a fan of - Jess, Tadd, Melanie, Sasha, Clarice & Caitlynn. Jess is my favorite boy. I think because he feels like an underdog. He's a shorty, but his skills are incredible! Melanie hooked from her first audition routine. She is just awesome! Tadd is proving that being a b-boy isn't all he is. Sasha has also been a standout from the beginning. After watching the other 2 girls, Caitlynn & Clarice, I am awed by their talent, too.
I am annoyed by - Jordan. Ryan, Robert, & Miranda. Ryan irks me with her weird facial expressions & last week she smiled way to much for a routine that was supposed to be touching, and kinda a sad thing. This week she had too many "wah wah" moments. You know, the mouth WAAAAHS open hard & then goes into a fishy lips kinda deal. Just weird. Robert's Woo-woo was annoying, but this week he did do a great job, but it was his style, even if he's free style. Miranda, well, she has confidence in her dance, but it seems she kinda lacks that in herself. Jordan, while she is a superb dancer, there's just something about her that rubs me the wrong way. I do give them all kudos for mad talent!
This is my "routine of the week" from the competition show:
It's a NappyTabs hip hop routine. They wanted the dancers to portray a couple that has been separated by war. The husband (Alexander) is coming home & the wife (Sasha) doesn't see him at first. Sasha does an excellent job of pushing the anguish out in the beginning and the joy, disbelief, love & everything else comes out of both of them when they get together. It's a gorgeous number!!
Everything this week was awesome, no one disappointed me. Wadi was a little stiff in his cha-cha, but I give him major props for doing what he did. Jean Luc (the choreographer) said that it was the most difficult routine he's ever choreographed for the show.
Standouts for me - Melanie, Tadd, Mitchell, Clarice, Caitlynn, Alexander, Sasha & Jess.
I am a fan of - Jess, Tadd, Melanie, Sasha, Clarice & Caitlynn. Jess is my favorite boy. I think because he feels like an underdog. He's a shorty, but his skills are incredible! Melanie hooked from her first audition routine. She is just awesome! Tadd is proving that being a b-boy isn't all he is. Sasha has also been a standout from the beginning. After watching the other 2 girls, Caitlynn & Clarice, I am awed by their talent, too.
I am annoyed by - Jordan. Ryan, Robert, & Miranda. Ryan irks me with her weird facial expressions & last week she smiled way to much for a routine that was supposed to be touching, and kinda a sad thing. This week she had too many "wah wah" moments. You know, the mouth WAAAAHS open hard & then goes into a fishy lips kinda deal. Just weird. Robert's Woo-woo was annoying, but this week he did do a great job, but it was his style, even if he's free style. Miranda, well, she has confidence in her dance, but it seems she kinda lacks that in herself. Jordan, while she is a superb dancer, there's just something about her that rubs me the wrong way. I do give them all kudos for mad talent!
This is my "routine of the week" from the competition show:
It's a NappyTabs hip hop routine. They wanted the dancers to portray a couple that has been separated by war. The husband (Alexander) is coming home & the wife (Sasha) doesn't see him at first. Sasha does an excellent job of pushing the anguish out in the beginning and the joy, disbelief, love & everything else comes out of both of them when they get together. It's a gorgeous number!!
Everything this week was awesome, no one disappointed me. Wadi was a little stiff in his cha-cha, but I give him major props for doing what he did. Jean Luc (the choreographer) said that it was the most difficult routine he's ever choreographed for the show.
Wordful Wednesday
I don't think I could ever participate in Wordless Wednesday because I talk too much.
Last Saturday, I took my 2 youngest to see a soapbox derby. I didn't even know we had one around here til last year. I went with my good friend Jill & her youngest son participated. Both of her sons have been doing it for years, but her oldest has (kind of) grown out of it. Next year, my kids will be a part of it all.
Here they are after watching most of it :
I have to throw this one in - Andewd was watching my friend's son race & rooting him on - the end result was a win & an awesome reaction from the Dewd.
We had a good time, but they were both really bummed that they weren't doing it.
I'm adding a few more pics....didn't know if I should or not, but there is more to see - just a few of the racers in their cars.
This style car is for the early years kids. I think 7-10 year olds. The first year drivers are only allowed name & sponsor stencils, otherwise the cars are just white.
These cars are for the age group 11-13 (I think, maybe even to 14).
These are the older kids cars. They almost lie down in them & we can barely see their eyes. Looks so awesome!
Last Saturday, I took my 2 youngest to see a soapbox derby. I didn't even know we had one around here til last year. I went with my good friend Jill & her youngest son participated. Both of her sons have been doing it for years, but her oldest has (kind of) grown out of it. Next year, my kids will be a part of it all.
Here they are after watching most of it :
I have to throw this one in - Andewd was watching my friend's son race & rooting him on - the end result was a win & an awesome reaction from the Dewd.
We had a good time, but they were both really bummed that they weren't doing it.
I'm adding a few more pics....didn't know if I should or not, but there is more to see - just a few of the racers in their cars.
This style car is for the early years kids. I think 7-10 year olds. The first year drivers are only allowed name & sponsor stencils, otherwise the cars are just white.
These cars are for the age group 11-13 (I think, maybe even to 14).
These are the older kids cars. They almost lie down in them & we can barely see their eyes. Looks so awesome!
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