And you were born
and you were itty, bitty and your love
was so big.
And you cooed
and you smiled and chewed on your toes.
Then you grew a little...
you got some teeth and learned a few words
one at a time.
And you babbled on and on
and so much nonsense came out but you had
so much to say.
And you crawled, then walked
and you wrote on the walls and learned
to use the big potty.
Then you grew a little...
your hair grew more and you needed a trim.
And you had more to say
and I understood and we talked together.
And you drew nice pictures for me
and colored and listened to stories and
used your own imagination.
Then you grew a little...
you rode your bike without training wheels.
And you went to school
and made many friends and
found new challenges.
And you went to birthday parties
and had sleepovers and still wanted me around sometimes.
Then you grew a little...
you wanted so much independence and
you were fearless.
And you were sophisticated
and you knew more than me and
you tried my patience.
And you wanted to grow more
and get a job and drive your own car.
Then you grew a little...
you got a job and finished school.
And time felt like so little
and you taught me so much.
And we are learning always
and now she is born and all is new again.
Then she will grow a little...
you will grow with her just as I grew with you.
And your heart will be full
and you will often swell with pride
and you will feel so happy.
And you will remember...
A bit of my own perspective. I was inspired to write this after I read the children's book Someday by Alison McGhee.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Yesterdays
I was always a social butterfly growing up. I had many friends, but I never thought myself popular. I don't think I was, but I did have a lot of friends. The reason I am thinking about this is because as an adult, I don't have many friends. I still have a few old ones - the forever kind. Shelly, Nancy, Stacy and only a few others. Those I can call anytime & it's like there was never any time lapse between the time we'd talked before. You just pick up where you left off. I only have one new friend, Billie. She & I are very close. We have been talking for nearly 3 years on IM and the phone. We talk, most often, 5 nights a week on the phone. I have never physically met her, though. She lives very far away from me.
Around here - unless you are a social church goer (I'm a bad Catholic, remember?), it's hard to get to know anyone because so many people are too wrapped up in their lives. It's hard for me to put my best foot forward & make efforts. I have tried & it seems it's one sided. This is one of the reasons I believe society has taken a turn for the worse. People don't care about each other any more. Not like they used to. In the days when neighbors brought cookies to one another, made time & went out of their way for each other. Spent time talking, even if it was gossip, it was communication. Sure, everyone gets busy. Life is short & I think I'd rather be a little less busy & more full of friends. We can always make time. Even if it's 10 minutes. Those who say they can't, I just don't understand how life - especially around here, can be that full. This is a lazy small town.
I guess my biggest issue is that too many don't make the effort to blossom a friendship. I am a bit gunshy because I have been hurt putting my everything into a couple of friendships that got me no respect & hurt in the end. If I feel like I'm the only one that's trying to move the friendship forward, then I will back off. Maybe it's wrong, but if someone wants to really be friends, you'd think they'd make a conscious effort to do so. Why is it so hard to get to know people any more? I think many would find similarities they didn't think they would. In how we raise our kids, in what we have to deal with on the man front - among other things.
I shut down sometimes & don't make any effort, any time. Even with quick communication - email, IM & such. I just shut it all out. Why bother? Except with Billie - she's always there & I am for her.
A
Around here - unless you are a social church goer (I'm a bad Catholic, remember?), it's hard to get to know anyone because so many people are too wrapped up in their lives. It's hard for me to put my best foot forward & make efforts. I have tried & it seems it's one sided. This is one of the reasons I believe society has taken a turn for the worse. People don't care about each other any more. Not like they used to. In the days when neighbors brought cookies to one another, made time & went out of their way for each other. Spent time talking, even if it was gossip, it was communication. Sure, everyone gets busy. Life is short & I think I'd rather be a little less busy & more full of friends. We can always make time. Even if it's 10 minutes. Those who say they can't, I just don't understand how life - especially around here, can be that full. This is a lazy small town.
I guess my biggest issue is that too many don't make the effort to blossom a friendship. I am a bit gunshy because I have been hurt putting my everything into a couple of friendships that got me no respect & hurt in the end. If I feel like I'm the only one that's trying to move the friendship forward, then I will back off. Maybe it's wrong, but if someone wants to really be friends, you'd think they'd make a conscious effort to do so. Why is it so hard to get to know people any more? I think many would find similarities they didn't think they would. In how we raise our kids, in what we have to deal with on the man front - among other things.
I shut down sometimes & don't make any effort, any time. Even with quick communication - email, IM & such. I just shut it all out. Why bother? Except with Billie - she's always there & I am for her.
A
Thursday, April 17, 2008
2 in one day
Yes! Odd maybe? Not really - or it shouldn't be. This is something I should be prolific in, because it seems I really have so much to say to no one at all! I've had few profile/blog views. Most of them are probably my own. As long as I have something to read...heh. (gaw...who wants to reinforce the issues in their life? double, even triple whammy)
I always say I'm not going to watch idol beyond the auditions because those are really the best part. I find myself growing fond of contestants, though, during the audition process. I am a lover of music - many kinds of music. This year idol came across an incredible pool of talent. These young people can really sing. I am very sad to say the voters got it wrong last week in not voting for Michael Johns. Kristy Lee had stepped it up the last few weeks, but she shouldn't have even been around this long. At this point in the show, I think it's bad to see any one of them go because they all deserve record deals based on the talent they have. My favorite is David Cook - I will buy his albums. He sings in a style a love & his voice soothes my ears. I can't wait to hear the music he will pen on his own. Of all the contestants left, his music is probably the only stuff I'd pay for. Maybe Carly's, too. It depends on which direction she takes. I wouldn't ever buy, or even download for free, the music of David Archuleta. The kid's a voice prodigy (well, nearly) but I can't stand his style. Lite music special. I hope he does win idol, though because then he's the one with the longest ties to the idol purse strings. David Cook needs another route to travel. I almost don't want him on the show so he can move forward & pursue the music, like Chris Daughtry. Enough boring...
The boys had a late start today, reverse half day. These are cool - I like being able to sleep in a bit. They have tomorrow off - a 3 day that should have been a 4 day weekend. Snow make up day on Monday. It should be a fun weekend. The weather is finally nice - even if it will be cloudy, we can hang out outside. 7 can finally drive his car.
I know as I post my journal shit, it will get hectic at times, just as it does for me. I hope I'm not too harsh on my hub. His fantasy baseball started on March 31. All has gone okay with that until last Sunday. He really has his priorities screwed up. And I am now the official black cat. How much eye white did you see with that eye roll? He claims that he doesn't believe in all that "superstitous bullshit", direct quote, but I am now a black cat. I am responsible for the hits the players get off of his pitchers, as well as the strike outs the batters attain and the lack of homeruns his team hits. I must be some kinda cooler. No team in MLB would want me at the ball field watching. Anyway, I was asked by my supafly friend if I was ready for the season. I now realize I completely forgot how bad it can get during baseball season. While I told her I was ready - I don't think anyone can be, especially not me.
I might need a season long vacation.
~ A
I always say I'm not going to watch idol beyond the auditions because those are really the best part. I find myself growing fond of contestants, though, during the audition process. I am a lover of music - many kinds of music. This year idol came across an incredible pool of talent. These young people can really sing. I am very sad to say the voters got it wrong last week in not voting for Michael Johns. Kristy Lee had stepped it up the last few weeks, but she shouldn't have even been around this long. At this point in the show, I think it's bad to see any one of them go because they all deserve record deals based on the talent they have. My favorite is David Cook - I will buy his albums. He sings in a style a love & his voice soothes my ears. I can't wait to hear the music he will pen on his own. Of all the contestants left, his music is probably the only stuff I'd pay for. Maybe Carly's, too. It depends on which direction she takes. I wouldn't ever buy, or even download for free, the music of David Archuleta. The kid's a voice prodigy (well, nearly) but I can't stand his style. Lite music special. I hope he does win idol, though because then he's the one with the longest ties to the idol purse strings. David Cook needs another route to travel. I almost don't want him on the show so he can move forward & pursue the music, like Chris Daughtry. Enough boring...
The boys had a late start today, reverse half day. These are cool - I like being able to sleep in a bit. They have tomorrow off - a 3 day that should have been a 4 day weekend. Snow make up day on Monday. It should be a fun weekend. The weather is finally nice - even if it will be cloudy, we can hang out outside. 7 can finally drive his car.
I know as I post my journal shit, it will get hectic at times, just as it does for me. I hope I'm not too harsh on my hub. His fantasy baseball started on March 31. All has gone okay with that until last Sunday. He really has his priorities screwed up. And I am now the official black cat. How much eye white did you see with that eye roll? He claims that he doesn't believe in all that "superstitous bullshit", direct quote, but I am now a black cat. I am responsible for the hits the players get off of his pitchers, as well as the strike outs the batters attain and the lack of homeruns his team hits. I must be some kinda cooler. No team in MLB would want me at the ball field watching. Anyway, I was asked by my supafly friend if I was ready for the season. I now realize I completely forgot how bad it can get during baseball season. While I told her I was ready - I don't think anyone can be, especially not me.
I might need a season long vacation.
~ A
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Long overdue
Not that it matters..I've obviously neglected this page. I will have to be a more stringent blogger from here forward. Since I am going to be "studying" what I think I am here (on this planet, because my home planet has exiled me) to do...write...I may have more to share aside from family fun.
Kids are good - older now. 6 is now 7 and 3 is now 4. 13 is still 13, but we are nearer to 14. 7 didn't increase the maturity level once he turned 7. I don't know if I was hoping the day would cure the immature ails, but yeah, maybe I was. Aw, hell - I knew it wouldn't. Is there a magic elixir? It seems 7 will be repeating 1st grade, as it stands. This has been a saga for us. In the beginning of the year, I was dead set against this teacher he has. I had heard about her from several other parents in the community as a "meanie", even some went so far as to say she was insulting to some kids. None of this heresy comes with confirmation. People talk, rumors fly. I am very satisfied with her style of teaching and I think she understands my son. We have good communication and we both have been diligent this year in trying to keep 7 caught up. 7 is still behind, though he has improved a good deal, especially in the last few weeks. Though I want to be hopeful, I almost don't. That may sound awful or sad, but really - if I have to struggle with this boy & watch him struggle so profoundly at the beginning of the next school year & through the first sememster, I am going to be upset. He is a smart child and he understands almost all of what he's being taught. He does sometimes resist the new, well - more often than not. He will absorb it & refuse to move forward. He becomes obstinate - for lack of a better word. It could be a personality trait (gawd, I hope not - too much like his dad). He is a young 7 year old & seems to not care at all about his success, not in the immediate sense (I did it, hoo-rah--who cares.). We can be excellent cheerleaders & he just doesn't care, even gets mad sometimes if I over do it.
The first grade 7 goes to is 20 steps ahead of the one I went to & even 10 ahead of the one 13 went to. There is homework every night & watching math pages come home with words like "algebraic sentence" somewhere on the pages is alarming to me for first grade. They study, teach & learn in a much different way. It seems that the no child left behind laws have opened the doors to intense focus on rapid retention & repeat. This is all something I don't think will be as much an issue for 4 when she gets there. 7, like I mention, is just a very young 7. So all this repetetivity to ensure they retain this information, but educators are also throwing all kinds of stuff up to be retained. It isn't just a few select things, it's a plethora of stuff, a shitstorm of numbers, letters, reading pages..etc. Adding & subtracting of double digits - though my 7 isn't there, this is where the rest of the class is - in FIRST grade. And they time them, too, minute & a half.... It is all baffling to me. I have to roll, though - there is nothing else I can do besides homeschool & I honestly don't believe that would be a good solution for 7. So, 7 might do the first grade all over again & in his situation, I don't think that would be a bad idea. I know more & more schools are adopting stronger curriculums & more of this rapid fire teaching stuff. I can understand how this does benefit the students of the future, especially in the later grades.
4's birthday was lovely. She was exceptionally happy to be turning 4. A huge milestone in her eyes. We had a cake & sang, nothing big as the inlaws couldn't find a babysitter for Bopka, so they couldn't make it. It was just us & my mom. Very nice day.
That's that for now. I'll be around, as I am going to be reading much, learning more about what I want to do in life. Maybe even publish here some of what I learn or write. We shall see.
~A
Kids are good - older now. 6 is now 7 and 3 is now 4. 13 is still 13, but we are nearer to 14. 7 didn't increase the maturity level once he turned 7. I don't know if I was hoping the day would cure the immature ails, but yeah, maybe I was. Aw, hell - I knew it wouldn't. Is there a magic elixir? It seems 7 will be repeating 1st grade, as it stands. This has been a saga for us. In the beginning of the year, I was dead set against this teacher he has. I had heard about her from several other parents in the community as a "meanie", even some went so far as to say she was insulting to some kids. None of this heresy comes with confirmation. People talk, rumors fly. I am very satisfied with her style of teaching and I think she understands my son. We have good communication and we both have been diligent this year in trying to keep 7 caught up. 7 is still behind, though he has improved a good deal, especially in the last few weeks. Though I want to be hopeful, I almost don't. That may sound awful or sad, but really - if I have to struggle with this boy & watch him struggle so profoundly at the beginning of the next school year & through the first sememster, I am going to be upset. He is a smart child and he understands almost all of what he's being taught. He does sometimes resist the new, well - more often than not. He will absorb it & refuse to move forward. He becomes obstinate - for lack of a better word. It could be a personality trait (gawd, I hope not - too much like his dad). He is a young 7 year old & seems to not care at all about his success, not in the immediate sense (I did it, hoo-rah--who cares.). We can be excellent cheerleaders & he just doesn't care, even gets mad sometimes if I over do it.
The first grade 7 goes to is 20 steps ahead of the one I went to & even 10 ahead of the one 13 went to. There is homework every night & watching math pages come home with words like "algebraic sentence" somewhere on the pages is alarming to me for first grade. They study, teach & learn in a much different way. It seems that the no child left behind laws have opened the doors to intense focus on rapid retention & repeat. This is all something I don't think will be as much an issue for 4 when she gets there. 7, like I mention, is just a very young 7. So all this repetetivity to ensure they retain this information, but educators are also throwing all kinds of stuff up to be retained. It isn't just a few select things, it's a plethora of stuff, a shitstorm of numbers, letters, reading pages..etc. Adding & subtracting of double digits - though my 7 isn't there, this is where the rest of the class is - in FIRST grade. And they time them, too, minute & a half.... It is all baffling to me. I have to roll, though - there is nothing else I can do besides homeschool & I honestly don't believe that would be a good solution for 7. So, 7 might do the first grade all over again & in his situation, I don't think that would be a bad idea. I know more & more schools are adopting stronger curriculums & more of this rapid fire teaching stuff. I can understand how this does benefit the students of the future, especially in the later grades.
4's birthday was lovely. She was exceptionally happy to be turning 4. A huge milestone in her eyes. We had a cake & sang, nothing big as the inlaws couldn't find a babysitter for Bopka, so they couldn't make it. It was just us & my mom. Very nice day.
That's that for now. I'll be around, as I am going to be reading much, learning more about what I want to do in life. Maybe even publish here some of what I learn or write. We shall see.
~A
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