Yesterdays

I was always a social butterfly growing up. I had many friends, but I never thought myself popular. I don't think I was, but I did have a lot of friends. The reason I am thinking about this is because as an adult, I don't have many friends. I still have a few old ones - the forever kind. Shelly, Nancy, Stacy and only a few others. Those I can call anytime & it's like there was never any time lapse between the time we'd talked before. You just pick up where you left off. I only have one new friend, Billie. She & I are very close. We have been talking for nearly 3 years on IM and the phone. We talk, most often, 5 nights a week on the phone. I have never physically met her, though. She lives very far away from me.

Around here - unless you are a social church goer (I'm a bad Catholic, remember?), it's hard to get to know anyone because so many people are too wrapped up in their lives. It's hard for me to put my best foot forward & make efforts. I have tried & it seems it's one sided. This is one of the reasons I believe society has taken a turn for the worse. People don't care about each other any more. Not like they used to. In the days when neighbors brought cookies to one another, made time & went out of their way for each other. Spent time talking, even if it was gossip, it was communication. Sure, everyone gets busy. Life is short & I think I'd rather be a little less busy & more full of friends. We can always make time. Even if it's 10 minutes. Those who say they can't, I just don't understand how life - especially around here, can be that full. This is a lazy small town.

I guess my biggest issue is that too many don't make the effort to blossom a friendship. I am a bit gunshy because I have been hurt putting my everything into a couple of friendships that got me no respect & hurt in the end. If I feel like I'm the only one that's trying to move the friendship forward, then I will back off. Maybe it's wrong, but if someone wants to really be friends, you'd think they'd make a conscious effort to do so. Why is it so hard to get to know people any more? I think many would find similarities they didn't think they would. In how we raise our kids, in what we have to deal with on the man front - among other things.

I shut down sometimes & don't make any effort, any time. Even with quick communication - email, IM & such. I just shut it all out. Why bother? Except with Billie - she's always there & I am for her.

A