I am typically not a list maker, as I tend to stray away from the "to do" type things, just like when I was a kid & someone told me what to do - I just didn't want to do it! Even if it's me telling me. I'm not organized enough to want to keep lists of things that are important. I think it's time for change.
I'm taking my cue from Stay at Home Babe because I think my boys need a list like the one she wrote for her daughters. She made a list of the top 11 guys never to date. I think another disclaimer to be added is "never to marry". These are in no particular order, they are all avoidable.
My list contains 15 types to be avoided and, if pressed, I could probably think of more.
1. The Story Teller. Avoid the girls who make up stories all. the. time. Maybe they think life is better the way they tell it. That is clearly a big issue. Once you find out the truth, run for the hills!
2. The Rebound. I have seen this happen to several of my guy friends in the past (and my oldest). And it's so sad! Why does a girl think she can move forward after years with a guy, when it's only been a week since the break up? They are more than willing to talk to you about it & how much it hurt. In fact, that's almost all they will talk about. Because the girl is so needing to feel the connection & the love, she throws herself fully into the new guy. The devastation the new guy feels - when the old guy comes crawling back - is monumental. Ladies, give yourself time to heal, time to move on independently. Really. You'll only end up hurting the guy you didn't wait for.
3. The Daddy Complex. Keep in mind, it starts small. Listen to the little cues. "My dad used to do that...", "My dad would never wear clothes like that...", "My dad was always a good communicator...", "My dad doesn't like ______ ..." and so on. Little comparisons eventually lead to big ones. You are not her daddy, nor will you ever live up to him. If she has those kind of expectations of you...leave, NOW!
4. The Private Lover. Avoid the ones that are okay having you in private, but not in public. This girl LOVES hanging out with you at her house, alone. She loves swinging by your place to hang out, alone. She refuses to go out publicly on a date. She says she "just doesn't feel comfortable" out in public, yet she goes out with her friends all the time. That's a clue, fellas. Either she will be the hermit housewife who doesn't ever like to go out - anywhere - or she is truly ashamed that she's dating you. Both are bad.
5. The High & Mighty. She is confident, more like arrogant. It's good to be confident. I want my daughter to know that she is all that & a bag of chips. There's a line, though, an invisible one that separates the arrogant from the confident. She will chew you up & spit you out, breaking you on the inside, because you will never match her perfection, her grace or her intelligence. Eventually, you will realize that not only does she think she's better than you, she thinks she's better than everybody.
6. The Chatterbox. I know we all like to talk, we all like to discuss our man issues with our besties. & that, in my book, is okay. It's the one who broadcasts her problems with you all over her social networks. The one who tweets about how much of an asshole you are & how much you hurt her on a regular basis. The one who updates her status with the tears she's crying, listing a reason why you suck for every tear. She may try to be subtle by not naming names, but you & all her friends know exactly who she's talking about. S T A Y A W A Y! Also, if you tell your family too much, the will inevitably judge him. Try to avoid telling them everything. It's called saving his face.
7. The Quiet Maelstrom. She is angry, cries the silent tears & you add one final comment & she explodes! Like a crazy person she comes at you with her claws open & teeth bared. She screams bloody, throws things at you and anywhere around the house, she punches you, she may even bite you, and she will not hesitate to break something you hold dear. Then, 2 seconds later, she's apologizing telling you how very sorry she is & that it will never happen again. You just had to say that one thing & it threw her into her demonic state. She was possessed by anger, and it was because of you. You just don't see it coming until it's too late. Once it happens, that should be all you need. Get out now!
8. The Hoochie. She is the one that dresses the sleaziest, all skin & no class. At first, maybe you're the one looking for one thing. Keep it that way and, no, I don't want to talk about it. Know that she isn't looking for something permanent & if she is, it's for all the wrong reasons. Most likely, she's looking for something you can't give her. If she doesn't "get around", then it's all an act. I don't know what's worse.
9. The Cheater. In my opinion, girls are just as likely to cheat as guys. Also, & this bares noting, they are more likely to change, especially if they really love you. I would still say just don't get involved. It may take a few stolen screws outside of your relationship for her to finally get monogamy right. & that will hurt more than I can describe. My best advice its complete avoidance.
10. The Artiste. The one with many dreams & no ambition. The one who is always writing songs, strumming the guitar, drawing til her heart's content, painting on borrowed time, etc. The one who likes money, but doesn't like to work for it. It's great to be creative, it's even better to take that creativity somewhere. If it's a notebook full of ideas that never get realized, it's just trouble.
11. The Best Friend's Girl. Or any other guy's girl. They are absolutely off limits even when they proclaim their undying love for you. If it is your best friend's girl, I say she's off limits even after they break up. Remember the rule - Bros before Hos.
12. The Spineless Forgiver. She will never stand up to you. She will always take responsibility even if it's your fault & you know it. She will always forgive you for whatever you do, even if it compromises her entire being. She will allow you to do whatever you want, regardless of her feelings. She won't ever tell you if something is bothering her. She wears a happy mask 24/7. I know, how sad - but they are out there. This might be the one that's the hardest to leave. Who doesn't love easy street?
13. The Slob. She doesn't warn that you are about to step into a mess, she just lets you walk in. You visit her apartment & she doesn't care that there's moldy food in the sink & it stinks to high heaven. She doesn't care that there's weeks old garbage on the coffee table & counter tops, and maybe even the floor. She has her laundry strewn all over the place & she has no qualms changing into something she picks out from a disgusting pile in the corner of her room. Know that you will be the one who keeps house if you stick.
14. The Mommy. She's always trying to fix you or make you better. She constantly reminds you how to do things the right way. She always dotes on you. She treats you every bit like a child in man skin. Beware of MOM!!
15. The Needy-kins. She always needs you, 24/7 and you will never have a moment without her. You are never able to leave the house alone. She cries way too easily & you will find yourself always trying to make her feel better. She is always looking for your acceptance. She will always ask you how you feel or how she looks & any answer you give will be wrong! If you do happen to go out alone, you must be cheating! Obviously, these girls are not secure enough with themselves to be in a relationship. Many guys think all women are this way, but they are wrong. There are a select few in society & they are here to remind the rest of us how not to be.
I know I've been some of these women at times in my life, certainly. I think some of you may read & think you were once like one of these on the list, too. It's just a testament to my kids to wait for serious relationships until they grow up. Most of us change these behaviors once we do.
In the meantime, if you must seriously date, these are the ones to avoid at all costs. In a perfect world, we will all find the one who fits us perfectly. Sometimes we have to experience the bad to appreciate the good. Just know, my sons, that you have been forewarned.