I spent a lot of time thinking yesterday & the old adage "life is what you make it" kept filtering any thought I had. I feel like a big ol' crybaby Sally. I am not that person, I've never been. I am much more of a listener. I was thinking about a journey & sharing that so that anyone who might feel down on themselves can see that we control the good or bad in our lives (for the most part). My life is good right now. <-- It may not sound like it, but any time something happens that sets my mind adrift to the past I second guess everything I've ever done. I don't need a to do list, but I do. Those things I will keep to myself. Everyone has stuff to do. Motivation was the driving force behind feeling I needed to put it out there.
So - Andewd has a desire to never do anything in front of people. Especially things like singing. Yesterday was the school's Spring program. 3rd, 4th & 5th graders participated. We talked about it - at length & he was adamant that he couldn't (didn't) want to go. He hasn't participated in the programs since 1st grade. I am of the mind that if a child is absolutely uncomfortable doing things like this, he shouldn't have to. I remember the way he froze at the beginning of the last thing he was in & the look of fear in his eyes, the welling of the fearful tears & I didn't want to have to do that to him. He surprised me - he went, he didn't even see me in the audience & he did well. He had fun.
I was listening to the radio yesterday, on my way to deliver 2 charm bracelets and a song came on. I enjoy the music of the Sick Puppies. The band name is not appropriate for the type of music they produce, imo. The lyrics were soothing and right (of course I didn't know all the lyrics, but the ones I heard - fit. Now they fit even more.).
Riptide by Sick Puppies with lyrics:
Always, posting my hurt thoughts & making myself see what I feel helps me get through it. It clears my mind, it is motivating all on its own.
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